CHAPTER-8

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Chaos.

My mind and heart have been in total chaos since yesterday.

Darius is using me?

What am I even supposed to be feeling or doing. Is it wrong if I say I still love him? Maybe it's wrong but it's true. Usually I have logical approach towards every situation, at least I try to have the most logical approach. This time though, it's totally different.

I need to get a hold of myself, but it's easier said than done. If all of this is actually true, which it definitely is now that I have heard it for myself, I need to stay away from Darius even if it hurts me in the end.

"I have a plan for today" Darius spoke coming in our bedroom where I was currently lying, trying to look engaged in whatever spanish show was being aired.

Plans for today? More as in plans for using me.

"And the plans being? " I cocked an eyebrow trying to act as normal as possible.

As long as I have no idea how to get out of this mess, I can't let him know  about the piece of information I have.

"Well today is a party being held on the beach. Maybe we should go" smiling innocently he came to me and sat on the bed I was lying on.

Only if I didn't knew how innocent his smile really is.

"It will be my way of apologising you know. By making today a beautiful day for us" His fingers combed my hair slowly as my eyes shut on their own.

"And what about work? You don't have anything to do today do you? " as soon as the words left my mouth I cursed myself inwardly.  What if he feels the bitterness I have for him. But how can I even help but not feel cheated upon. And it hurted.

"Work can wait. I didn't even realised I turned this vacation into regular old days when I went for work" He chuckled to himself clearly not catching upon the growing poison I had in me for him.

How could you Darius? And I thought we were going to last.

"Yeah well. That's nice"

"You remember those days when I used to come back home and you would shout on me for being late" He started, seeming lost in his own bubble.

When did that happen? I rarely shouted on him for being late, I just always advised him to take more care of his health. He was the one, on the other hand, who said I should feel free to get angry if he's late or not  treating me right.

"Want I stupid? I was and I messed up but thi-" he stopped mid sentence and the way his eyes were about to go wide didn't go unnoticed by me.

Funnily enough, he had pulled me in his laps as he was talking and I didn't even notice. Being this close to him was always hard. It was always hard because I couldn't control the raging hormones. But now, now it's hard because I couldn't help but feel the pain.

"What are you talking about? You never messed up anything it was  me who wanted to break up because of the troll it had on my mental peace"  I enquired.

"I mean I was always forcing you, you know" He scratched the back of his neck which he always does when he's scared. "And that messed up everything. But now we won't because I Will be taking baby steps"

I couldn't stop the grin fom spreading on my face but the genuine happiness was replaced by pain in a matter of seconds.

How much would have I not given for all of this to be really true. A lob formed in my throat as I was on the verge of tears.
I should keep my eyes closed before anything stupid happens.

"We will take care of everything. We will be happier, right? "

Not being able to speak I nodded.

One of us will be happier. Will I prefer being happy for myself and overcoming all of this or will I prefer his happiness even while getting played that I don't know.

****************

After the heartfelt moment Darius left telling me that he has fixed room spa appointment for me and the ladies will be here anytime soon. My safety being the reason for the room spa. I rolled my eyes as I sat there waiting alone for the ladies. 'As if I am safe with you Darius' was what I wanted to say and stand as his face scrunches in anger or shock.

Will he feel my loss if I leave him?

Since the day we met, he has always been there. Thinking of it now, it seemed so strange that since the moment we met almost everywhere we were together. He was always with me and even after we broke up, nobody could tell the difference because we were always together. Romantically, we were distant during ur break up but emotionally we were still together.

But now there's a question mark on everything happened between us till today. A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts and I peeked through the peek hole to see two ladies standing there with some boxes in their hands.

"You guys are just on time" I complimented them thanking for being on time as I opened the door for them.

"We were given special instructions" Said the redhead with Tana written on her name tag.

"Still I am thankful. Now please keep everything in that room" I pointed towards my bedroom "and help yourselves. I'll be back in a few minutes" I pointed to the toilet with my thumb and they nodded in agreement.

"Thank you Mrs Johnson we will be quick" Nodded the brunette as they hurled back to my room.

After doing the deed, I stood  in front of the mirror and splashed some water on my face, suddenly feeling too hot in the bathroom.

I felt like I was missing something. Like something simple escaped my brain.

Wiping my face I made my way out to the duo sitting on the chairs around the bed.

"Please change into this Mrs Johnson and then we can start" The brunette, Sara gave me a see through bag with some bathrobe king of thing in it.

There was not much placed around the bed so I am assuming they still need time to prepare.

"Yes and while yo-"

"Wait what did you just say" My eyes went wide as I stared at the both of them, now totally alarmed.

"Y-you can ch-change now" stuttered the redhead. The quick exchange of glances didn't go unnoticed by me.

"No what did you just call me" I questioned.

"Mrs Johnson." Answered the brunette who, I noticed has more control on her words compared to Tana.

"How did you know my full name? " I glared at the both of them. Liam is there in the next suite so it won't be hard calling for him if something goes wrong.

"The room's booked in your husband's name mam." Answered the brunette.

Not getting my looks of shock which clearly said I don't understand whatever heck you're saying, the brunette thought about elaborating

"Darius Johnson"

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