Photophobia

The Clearing

After a while, they stood at the edge of a large clearing. It was covered in waist-high grass and a few low bushes. He assumed that here had been a forest fire quite some time ago. They continued to follow the path of destruction, and just when they were halfway across the clearing they heard soft snorts to their left.

Hux spun around and saw large green animals about a hundred metres away. They both let themselves fall on the ground, he jerked his head around when he heard her groan. She was holding her broken arm. They stayed hidden for a few moments, but the soft snorts just continued.

She slowly lifted her head to see above the grass, he observed her, holding the blaster trained at her.

"Nerfs. I guess they're herbivores," she whispered.

"Nerfs?" Hux asked disbelievingly and lifted his head above the high grass. She was right, they looked a little like Arkanian nerfs.

"What? Have you never seen a nerf?"

"Don't be ridiculous!" Did she really think that he didn't know what a nerf looked like? Did she take him for a moron?

It occurred to Hux how ignoble it was to be kneeling in the dirt because of some stupid herbivores and he slowly got up. He straightened his uniform and tried to arrange his face into his usual dignified calm expression. His hip and his wounds burned, his head hurt and he still felt sick and miserable, but there was no need to show her that.

The nerfs eyed them with mild disinterest and calmly continued to eat the grass. Hux tried to keep an eye on them as well as on the woman in front of him. He was hot and could feel himself becoming light-headed; as soon as they had reached the tree-line he sat down.

"We'll rest here," he said in a quieter voice than he had intended.

He didn't miss the scrutinising glance she gave him. He was under no illusion that she had caught on that he wasn't doing well, all the countless pauses ... and she had seen the infection on his chest. Soon she would try to kill him.

He watched her as she sat down not far from him and started to play with blades of grass. So this was his killer? A short woman with curly hair in dirty overalls? He wanted to laugh – of course he would die like that.

No heated battle against a worthy adversary. He wouldn't go down in a blaze of glory like Vice-Admiral Holdo. No, his death would be meaningless. He would be forgotten. His father had been right, he was nothing ... for a moment he remembered a bright red flash, could almost feel the heat on his face, hear the rumbling of Starkiller base beneath him. He remembered the goose bumps it had given him ...

He pushed the memory away. No, he could still make it. All he had to do is pull himself together – focus!

With trembling hands he unscrewed the canteen and drank. She was watching him of course. Plotting the death of the mass murderer before her.

It didn't matter what she was planning, he had to get back to the Order. Who knows what Ren had done in his absence? Yes, he had to get back come what may! The Order was his life, the only thing that mattered. The only thing he had.

The rebel pulled something out that had hung around her neck: It was a silver-white medallion. Hux noticed that he hadn't even raised his blaster – he had just watched. His arms felt heavy, if he only could take a nap.

"I need to go ... somewhere," she said.

He sat up a little straighter. "What?"

She gave him an awkward smile. "I need to pee. I'll just go over there."

Hux' mind worked frantically, but before he could find the right words she had vanished behind a bush. For a moment he considered of going after her, but the whole situation was so absurd that he couldn't bring himself to get up.

He blushed when she returned and sat down across from him as if nothing had happened.

They finally found the wing or rather the tree where it was stuck. Hux craned his neck, but he couldn't see the wing properly – at least the tree wasn't burnt.

It turned out that looking up hadn't been a good idea -- he nearly stumbled. He felt more light-headed than before and had to lean against a tree. He was thirsty but he couldn't muster the strength to pull the canteen from the backpack.

The woman said something, but he heard her words muffled like there was something covering his ears.

"W-we'll rest here for a couple of minutes," he said. His own voice sounded strange. He had- had to focus.

"Okay. You look like shit, you know that right?"

He made an effort to snap at her: "Shut up!"

Hux felt how his strength drained away, how he could barely keep standing. Truly pathetic ... weak, thin as a paper slip. No, somebody had poisoned him ... it was the infection ... his thoughts became hard to track and he barely noticed that he was sliding down on the ground. Finally darkness surrounded him.