STARDUST ✑ twilight

chapter iv ; hell is empty,

[ STARDUST, VOL. I ]
Chapter IV: Hell is empty,

"Hell is empty,
and all the devils are here."

The Tempest | Act 1, Scene 2
William Shakespeare

❀

January 24th, 2005
Forks High School – Corridor

IT'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY—curiosity is what killed the cat, and satisfaction just dug a deeper grave.

Bella told me to go eat my lunch, leave her to face Edward alone, but she didn't calculate for my lost appetite. I came out of the English corridor feeling hollow, the soda in my hand like a talisman bringing forth eternal misfortune. I slugged it into my backpack at an unoccupied set of lockers. What was the use in eating? Or staying at school, for that matter? I had never skipped a day in my life, but I was seriously debating it now. I was sick to my stomach; my body was breaking into a cold sweat and my mind was in pieces, not a thought coherent. I couldn't make sense of Edward... any of the Cullens, really. I spent my entire life believing everything was as it seemed. Birds were birds, plates were plates, grass was grass. Humans were not as they always seemed, but I was set on believing they at least bled red and required sleep to live. I could wax poetic about humanity and its different layers, all layers uncovered by centuries of inquisition, but that was unnecessary. Nobody ever said a thing about all the creatures cooked up by firsthand experiences gone rogue being real, not just cooked-up schemes to make a quick dollar.

Normally, I gave the benefit of the doubt to everyone and everything. But Edward and his family weren't human. They couldn't be. Everything suddenly made sense, and all it took was a couple weeks of Bella's unfiltered rage and a spelled-out accusation. Bella lit the match, and now my head was a wildfire that couldn't be snuffed. All the weird mannerisms I brushed off came back to bite me in the butt. The Cullens never ate lunch... they were pale, paler than average, and had flawless skin that looked like the waxed surface of a limestone tablet. They skipped any school day with the barest glimmer of sun. Camping, they said. They all had the same eye color, a bronze-y gold, like amber. That always seemed strange, to have the same eye color and be a family made up of fosters. I didn't know what their mother looked like but I did know Carlisle looked implausibly young, like he was fresh out of college and not a highly successful doctor doing well enough he probably had a retirement fund three-centuries worth of vacationing. And the Cullens kept entirely to themselves. I thought they were just introverts closed off from the gossipy, self-seeking brownnosers that made up Forks High School, but the more I dwelled on their exclusion, the more I thought it was unusual. They barely even spoke in class.

It had to be because of a secret. A secret, about their identities, about revealing something that could bring pitchforks and torches guns blazing to their doorstep. In a heartbeat.

Again, I was sick to my stomach. I thought my head was going to burst if I kept sinking deeper into this debate of "Human or Not Human?" The obvious answer was that Edward knew Bella knew he wasn't human, and he came storming up to her in the hallway to make quick on the threats. Shut up. Edward was soft-eyed and even-tempered; my image of him for the past two years didn't make much sense compared to the image of him appearing to confront Bella. Black eyes, clenched fists, flared nostrils, assertive footsteps—like everything had a purpose and Edward had one goal he was dead-set on accomplishing, no matter the obstacles. I was one of those obstacles until I fled. I felt bad leaving Bella to be devoured by wolves, but she could handle herself, right? She was so brave. She knew how to handle villains, if she didn't look the slightest bit afraid taking him on alone. She was strong, like a huntsman, where I was weak, like Snow White.