Bamboozle-Man and the Responders: Time for Tea

(We open on Fiction City beach. Despite it being in the middle of summer, the morning air was a bit brisk. As the waves crashed onto the shore, the collective footsteps of several people could be heard rustling the sand. It was the world renowned superhero team known as the Responders, consisting of Bell Tower, The Paladin [a.k.a. Jesus Christ], Taffy, Zip, and John Cena)

Zip: Do we really need to be out here so early? There aren't even any girls at this beach.

Bell: I'm a girl!

Zip: Ah, you don't count. You're more of a mom.

Jesus: Is that the only thing you think about?

Zip: When I'm cold and am in dire need of a hug, yeah.

BM: Dude, you have super speed. Just....vibrate the cold away.

Zip: That isn't even a thing!

Cena: I think it is actually.

Zip: Wait seriously?

Taffy: *gurgles*

BM: I don't think wrapping him in your goo would work.

Zip: Please don't. I literally just got the last of you out of my hair.

Bell: As much as I'd like to comment on that, we have a job to do.

Cena: Right. What was it you called us here for, again?

Bell: The Warbell told me it sensed some strange energy coming from the bottom of the ocean not far off the coast.

Zip: And that's concerning because-?

Bell: If a magic bell wielded by an ancient war god gets spooked by something, nine out of ten times it's not a good thing.

Jesus: So, this is a sub nautical journey?

BM: Yep. Try not to get your fancy golden armor dirty.

Cena: I'd be more concerned with his wings, honestly.

Taffy: *gurgles*

Zip: Just because they're magic doesn't mean they can't get wet.

Bell: Focus! Big J, are your wings gonna be able to handle the water?

Jesus: Indeed.

John: And I don't need air to breathe.

BM: What powers don't you have!?

Bell: Neither do I. That just leaves-

Zip: I don't think super speed is gonna help me develop gills in the next five minutes.

BM: And I'm pretty sure Taffy would turn into oobleck if they went in the water.

Taffy: *gurgles in agreement*

Bell: Yes. If only we knew someone who had a vehicle that could turn into anything like a submarine or....a submarine.

BM: Hmmm. Oh shit, I know a guy! That guy is me!

Zip: Well hop to it! I have an interview later tonight.

BM: Yeah, yeah, don't get your zippers in a rut.

(Bamboozle-Man put his fingers in his mouth and loudly whistled, summoning his legendary Bamboozle Mobile. But for a moment, nothing happened.)

Cena: Uhhhhh, is something supposed to-

BM: Give her a minute. We don't do undersea vehicles often.

(Suddenly, a ways away from the shore, a yellow submarine with a tophat on top with a periscope poking out from it came bursting from the water to the surface)