All for him

Chapter 13

Dear Charlie, 

I'm sorry I've been so ungrateful. So many things had happened. I don't know how to tell you. How to even begin. Of course you know about Sirius. I'm pretty sure your family told you...

I can't transform. Not even my hair color. I don't know why. I know it has to do with my emotions. But I'm trying to do fun or entertaining things but nothing happens. My mum reckons I should see a healer or something. But I don't think it's necessary. 

My patronus changed, you'll never guess what it is. 

Anyway, I miss you badly. I need you here. You better come for Christmas. 

Yours truly, 

Tonks.

* * *

September 1996

For the next weeks, Tonks had to patrol Hogsmade with other aurors. Specially on September 1st. It was the day Harry arrived Hogwarts. And Tonks task specifically was to keep an eye on him. All the members of the Order were assigned to take care of Harry, actually. That was the priority right now. 

Tonks wondered the shops of Hogsmade that morning, remembering all the fun she used to have with Charlie. How innocent she was. Tonks had changed a lot. 

When the train arrived, she placed herself near the entrance to make sure Harry got out of there alive. It was painful to see a couple of older students laughing and holding hands. They kissed before getting into the carriage. Shit. It used to be easy for Tonks to see couples in love, because partly she didn't believe in love. But now it was painful. 

Tonks watched many other students got off the train. She even saw Ron, Hermione and Ginny. But Harry was nowhere to be seen. Tonks started to get worried. What if something happened during the train ride? Surely Ron and Hermione would know. They didn't seem to be worried. Although she had seen them checking back once or twice. Shit. 

Tonks walked to the train. She didn't know if someone drove the train or it moved my magic. But surely she didn't had much time. Tonks remembered Harry had the Invisibility cloak, perhaps he was hiding. Tonks went to the compartment that had the blinds drawn down. And she was right. There was Harry. 

Tonks walked Harry to Hogwarts. And when she casted the patronus to warn Hagrid that Harry was okay, she remembered about Remus. Tonks got down. And the worst part was that Snape noticed. 

"The new one looks weak"* he said. Which made Tonks very angry. That was none of his business. 

And after she said goodbye, Tonks cried on the way back to Hogsmade. 

* * *

My beloved Tonksie, 

I've been thinking about you. I'm sorry for what happened to Sirius. But princess, don't blame yourself. I know it must be hard but try to relax and don't be sad. You know that is affecting you metamorphmagus abilities. You're wonderful and you don't need anyone. And if you ask me, having a wolf patronus is pretty cool. Although I'm happy with my dragon. Anyway I'm sorry love, I know it's not funny. I promise I will be there for Christmas. And we can talk. 

I love you and miss you. 

Charlie

* * * 

October 1996

Tonks spend most of her time at Hogsmade, with other aurors. Sometimes she visited Hagrid and had tea with him. Sometimes she had drinks with members of the Order or auror partners. She tried to keep herself busy.