𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 • 𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐍

TWO

"5 Years and More"

(Italics stand for flashback)

Warning: Toxic eating habits, Drug Addictions, Unclassified Abuse

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Forgetting that her airplane mode was already in use, Y/n quickly unsent her message and only stared at the words. Memories that started resurfaced were shaken away from the upbringing chills that started.

Even now, Y/n drifts off to a small park, the last place she remembers it was peaceful. She's always alone and always in the same spot.

The swings.

Swinging high in her mind, she was lightly shaken and followed everyone out of the aircraft. Frankly, she never liked driving, it was always something about a vehicle in her hands that made her uneasy, but when Derek throws her the keys and helps Penelope get in the backseat, she has no choice. Her eyes stay focused on the road though and as GPS plays in the background, she doesn't follow it. She cuts through neighborhoods and alleyways until the streets of her own jurisdiction where the annoying computer voice was shut off.

As they speed down the block, old stores, and new ones, say hi to the three in the car. Pulled to a red light, the reflection of the car and Y/n in the driver's seat are shown against the window of HAPPY'S DINER, and the same wretched guilt eats away as she looks at the booths. With the long light, she can't stop herself as she sees younger her, in the arms and around her best friends, dipping fries in milkshakes and denying food like no other.

"Just a water," Y/n ditched her usual basket of fries and closed the menu she didn't even bother to read. Everyone looked at her in shock and Sabrina stopped the waiter.

"She'd take a small basket of fries with a medium chocolate milkshake, please." The scribbles on the notepad followed before the young waiter walked away again.

"What was that about?" Y/n asked angrily. "I only want water, I'm not hungry."

"Yea. You never are anymore. Anytime we go out, it's always water with extra ice, we know this Y/n. But eat something please, at least in front of us." Caterina gave puppy eyes to her youngest lover.

Y/n nodded. She ate the fries and the shake as she used to and when everyone went their separate ways, James walked the few blocks with the 14 years old to her house.

"Cat is right." He speaks. "You never eat anything anymore and Daniela was starting to get worried so she said something."

"Rose gave me a paper," Y/n speaks truthfully. "She calls it her 'to eat and what to not' list and I was reading over it." The presumed sentence is paused as Y/n is for a loss of words and looks up to James. "I thought following it would make me pretty, like she said it was."

Immediate anger was raised in the older man. Not that he would say it, he thought Y/n was just a beauty and nothing more. He loves her hair, no matter the smile, or the struggle, he thought that it was one of her best aspects and he didn't like Rose saying otherwise. "Don't listen to her." Y/n had never heard such an angry tone come from anymore but her father then. "Rose is Rose and she doesn't know what the fuck she is talking about. You are beautiful, and I don't want you to feed into what she tells you." With the unexpected tone and words, fear ran over Y/n at first, but when James wrapped his arms around her and they approached her door, she knew he meant well.

"Thank you, James. You truly are my best friend." She placed a small kiss on his cheek and went inside the house that she dreaded most.

Instinct, Y/n's foot pressed the gas pedal and she continued her drive. Seeing her father after she moved out was never the best last time she made her promise herself that she would change.

Y/n watch her father shuffle around the kitchen. For once they were getting along. He told her to stay back and 'let him do his thing' so she did.

"I'll clean up after," Y/n said, smiling as her father poured in some wine to the dish. He nodded and soon dinner was ready.

"Y/n." He caught her attention. "I know you're 24 now, but I want you to move back home." He said.

"But the FBI Academy starts in Sept, I got a small apartment and I was coming to tell you." She reaches for her father's forearm but he pulls away. "Please don't be angry. I'm sober now and paid off all my student loans from NYU. I just want you to be in support of my new beginning." She tried to smile, but looking at her father's disappointed face, her smile flopped.

"No." He started at first. "No, I will not be supportive of this. Without me, you'd be nothing but that same high teenager who was getting into trouble. You don't get to leave me." His tone was steady and calm that fear rose.

"I- i- I'll come back, I'll drive every month if I have to, but please-" The sound of glass to the wall cut her off.

"Wanted to help clean up, right? Make sure the place is fucking spotless." Y/F/N got up and walked close to his daughter, causing her to back up until glass cracked under her feet and her head touched a small painting that was nailed to the wall. "You are still my daughter, regardless if you leave. You know the consequences of your actions, now you deal with them."

The black SUV pulled into the parking lot of the station and everyone got themselves ready before one by one, Y/n being last, got out of the car. With her briefcase in hand, she made sure the car was locked, unnecessarily walking around the car and checking every window and door. The leather in her hand swings side to side as the heels clack against the pavement. Y/n's hold her head down but can see Derek's hand fall after a small greeting with her father.

"Welcome Agent-" Her father's words stop at the face identical to his. "Y/n." His hand fails to fall because she takes it.

"Agent Fields, sir." The sound of her father's last name following her first makes her grimace but she puts on the act for the two at her side.

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[MMY]