Still Here

Chapter 3

Conversations with people that you've only known for about 45 seconds are usually pretty awkward at first. Who am I kidding? You might as well have put us in clown getups and then forced us to have a serious conversation. It was pointless. I mean, I'm the worst chaperone in the whole world, godammit. I barely knew the school and the people in it. I don't even know why the teacher came to me. Probably because no one else was sitting with me.

The conversation was just as awkward as awkward can be.
"I'm Myna. And I must say, America is one weird place."
"Umm... yea. I guess you get used to it.."
"Why are you sitting by yourself?"

Gulp. I didn't have an adequate answer for that. What can I say? I'm a loner? Everyone hates me? I don't have any friends yet?

"Well, I um.. haven't .... met all the people here yet."

Myna gave me a funny look like I was crazy. Which, I kind of am.

"Hey! You're the new kid right?"

We turned around. A group of about 4 people were standing behind us. Most were girls, but there was one guy there. He looked like he wasn't part of their group.

"Yes." Myna said, flipping a strand of her perfect ombré hair behind her shoulder.

"Cool. Well, how about sitting with us?" One of the girls said. She looked to be the leader of the group.

I saw Myna glance at me with that same funny look from before. She kept looking back and forth, deciding who to sit with.

"Umm, I've already got a seat. But thanks." She said.

I closed my eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. I didn't realize I'd been holding my breath this whole time.

The lead girl of the group gave us a dirty look. I raised my eyebrows at her. After that, she just rolled her eyes and walked off. She flicked her head in her direction, signaling her friends to walk away with her. I noticed one of her friends stay for a minute, I caught her looking at me. But once she noticed that, she looked surprised and trotted away. She looked a little out of place, her being in that group. It didn't seem like she belonged there.

I think I heard that lead girl mutter something to one of her friends. It sounded like she said, "Freaks. That poor new girl doesn't know any better. She made a bad decision, sitting with the loser girl."

That made my cheeks turn red, and for a moment I was actually tempted to catch up with her and give her a good smack in her little face. Then I would punch her fucking mouth, where all those words were born. Who knew such a small, delicate looking thing could be so deadly and vicious?

Myna must have notice my cheeks because she asked if I was okay.

"I'm fine." I lied. "I just wish that bitch would go ahead and die already."

Not even realizing what I said, I kept watching her walk away. I saw Myna's facial expression, it looked to be somewhere between shock and a smile.

Shit, I actually said that out loud. I thought to myself. I thought I only said the first sentence!

I clapped a hand over my mouth, my eyes wide and my cheeks even redder from guilt and embarassment.

"Sorry." was all I could manage.

"No, it's okay. You needed to say that. You can't pin up your emotions forever you know, especially hatred." Myna replied. It was in my best interest that she was an understanding person.

Relief overcame me. At least she wasn't going to snitch on me to some teacher. Again I thought to myself, this isn't elementary school. People don't tell on you for cursing, anymore. That was a relief to me, because cursing was just a natural thing to me. I stub my toe, I scream "Ow motherfucker!". My Mom never bats an eyelash at it. She stopped caring a while back, whenever it became an ordinary habit of mine.

By the time we had finished eating, it was time for me to escort Myna to her (or technically my) next class. And now I had high intentions to avoid those bitches. They would not get in my way. Not today, at least.