Admiring you from afar ||BakuDeku||One-shot||

Admiring you from afar

I've always admired you from afar. Watched them corrupt and dismantle your humbleness and crush your soft heart until it became a sturdy rock that absorbed your ego and pride. I watched as praise and thanks slithered into your heart and brought to mush your kind nature while wracking your soul into black bitterness. I've witnessed how they played and toyed with your emotions, coaxing you into this superior nature and complex that seeps through your veins and encourages your actions.

I've watched and crumbled under the harsh and tormenting gaze of you that transforms itself into that abusive nature that gathers from the proudness of your soul. I've felt your rough hands on me, tearing me apart and ripping away my beliefs and feelings. I've experienced the voice that I thought sounded like honey, whisper and churn sickening feelings inside me, driving me to the point of constant sadness.

I've focused on drowning out the harsh insults and pangs of hurt while drowning in the indescribable depths of your tough waters that only seem to push me away with every wave of strength that you possess. The burns of your hatred and hands linger on me while new ones await their scarring position on my vulnerable body as I'm tossed and twisted in your hands.

Your unbearable heat fans my existence, which only seems to fuel your flames. Your crackling bomb ticks off when my presence is sensed while your invulnerability triumphs our past and pushes up a wall to block me out. Your soundless waves of hate and disgust wash over me, climbing your walls to build to the structure while trampling my existence and raising your crown higher.

I walk on cracked and spiked eggshells around you, my flinches and instincts held strongly intact by the sense of abuse you don't bat an eye on. Held fists are second nature to your arrows of words that are strung at me to pierce my skin and hold me down.

You're like the bug spray while I'm the bug, aren't you Kacchan?

The annoying stones in your path resemble my face when you kick and throw them around carelessly. The ground you walk on is like my skin when you drag your feet and stomp on me until you're satisfied.

You've never thought twice about me. I'm always a hurdle that you aspire to take down and crush, an obstacle to beat and a pest to kill.

Yet, here I find myself thinking about the spiky, blond hair that defies gravity. Your soft, red eyes that look like a brutal crimson red. Your perfectly shaped eyebrows and your mouth that's always turned into a scowl.

But all you've seen is the annoying mop of hair that tickles your ego and hurts your pride. My dull eyes that bore through your soul and my bright smile that blinds you with disgust.

My place before you is at your feet. As I've always been. Worshipping and admiring you, nothing different from the kids in school. So why am I picked apart and dismantled?

15 years fly for someone who's up in the clouds, flying by your wings made from high praise and proud moments. However, from down below, at the stomp which stems from your superiority that grows beneath you is where I await and hope for you to come down.

It's been a while since we've been together, have sleepovers and play on the playgrounds. All the memories mush into one as the inflictions you've landed upon me open up the path of hopelessness and the useless thought of rekindling our bond.

I've always admired you from afar, laughing and making jokes with your new friends while a new emotion begins to swirl inside me. The feeling of anger begins to bubble up in my chest only to simmer down when the hurt that coats my heart heats up.

I've always stuck to you, like glue on paper. Admiring your moves and striving to become the outstanding and independent person you've developed into. But maybe it's because of my presence you seem to dislike my company.