Strong [A Barson Fan Fic]

- 28 -

"Are you really blaming me?" Olivia asked weakly, as she looked down at the sheets covering her mother's hospital bed.

"Who else could I blame? My life has turned to shit thanks to you. You are the reason I drank and did drugs, and your father is the reason I was raped. You are the biggest regret, and I wish that I had listened to my mother and just got rid of you. Then I would be happy." Serena huffed.

Olivia lifted her eyes before locking them with her mother.

"I get that getting raped completely changed your life, but I am just as much a victim in this as you are. But right now... what you did to Sophie was absolute bullshit. And you will never get her back. Especially since you love whiskey, coke, and yourself too much to love a little girl. Now, have fun in prison. I'll have fun loving and raising my baby sister the way she deserves to be raised." Olivia spoke bravely. 

"You better not have my child!" Serena yelled, as Olivia smiled and turned to walk towards the doors.

"She's at home with my fiance and our son. She's going to be so freaking happy without you." Olivia grinned as she left the room and felt like the weight of the world had just fallen from her shoulders.

///

Having another child to think about really changed things around the house. Olivia had to find a new sitter to watch both kids, since she didn't want to force her little sister onto Lucia and Catalina. They also had to decide what to do about their wedding. Rafael still wanted to go through with everything they planned, but Olivia didn't know if they could still completely afford it now that they had another mouth to feed.

"Okay, so we have some things to discuss." Olivia spoke as she finally walked into her bedroom. She had been going between Ezra's room and Sophie's because both just always needed something. 

"Like the fact that our child is becoming super needy at the moment?" Rafael yawned.

"Okay, yes. But I think he's doing it to just copy Soph. But we need to talk about the wedding." Olivia sighed.

"What about it? We have a little over a week before we will be Mr. and Mrs. Barba."

"I'm just worried that we really can't afford it right now." Olivia frowned.

"Babe." Rafael sighed.

"I'm being honest, Rafa. Like we are paying for Sophie's therapy, and Ezra just keeps getting more expensive..."

"Is there something else?" Rafael breathed.

"Are you nervous?" Olivia blurted out.

"Nervous about getting married?! Baby, we are already pretty much married!" Rafael exclaimed.

"But a lot comes with marriage! Like, a lot of people are already asking me when we are going to have more kids! And like, nothing goes right in our lives! My mother may be in jail, but then there is Danny... and Ezra refuses to keep his diaper on, so what if he takes it off in the middle of the wedding? The priest may have a heart attack!" Olivia cried.

Rafael looked over at his fiancee before reaching out and caressing her hair.

"Do you want to get married right now?" 

"Right now? Rafa, we can't get married right now-"

"I, Rafael Barba-"

"Oh my god, what are you doing?" Olivia breathed, but was quickly put at ease when her fiance kissed her softly.

"If you are having a hard time with the wedding and getting nervous about everything that is going to go wrong, then let's get married right now or maybe even tomorrow." 

"I'm all over the place, and I'm sorry about that. It's just that right now, I still just can't believe that you love me enough to marry me. Like, me? Why me?" Olivia whispered.

"Because you are the only woman that I have ever loved... because you are Olivia Benson, and you are freaking amazing."

///

After Olivia's small breakdown and Rafael's amazing attempt at trying to get her to relax, Olivia managed to make it through the next several days. She managed to get her dress fitted one last time, and they made the final touches on the hall for the reception, and most importantly, Olivia and Rafael managed to get Ezra to stay in a diaper all day long without him taking it off and hiding it somewhere.

On the day of the wedding, Olivia woke up and felt like today was going to be one of the best days of her life. 

"Good morning, Liv." Lucia smiled as Olivia came downstairs.

"Morning. Thanks for staying last night and for helping me out this morning." Olivia smiled as she approached her soon to be mother-in-law before hugging her tightly.

"I wasn't going to leave you alone with two toddlers on your wedding day." Lucia chuckled softly.

"Have any of them made any noise yet?" Olivia questioned, as she moved to the coffeepot.

"Ezra woke up and needed a diaper change, so I changed him and put him back down, but nothing from Sophie yet." 

"I should probably go check on her." Olivia replied. She sat her mug down before moving out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. She started to climb them, before stopping at the top of them when she heard Sophie talking.

It didn't sound like she was talking to one of her stuffed animals or baby dolls, but to an actual human.

"I love my sissy... but I really wanna be with you." Sophie spoke, and Olivia quickly moved to her sister's door before pressing her ear against it.

Olivia heard some mumbling before Sophie spoke again.

"Mama, I won't tell her that you called. I promise." Sophie whispered, but it wasn't as quiet as she thought it was.

Olivia quickly swung open the door, before walking over to her sister and grabbing her phone from her small hand.

"Serena Benson, you are not allowed to call my cell number and talk to anyone in my family, Sophie included! You lost her because you were selfish, so leave her alone!" Olivia yelled into the phone and hung up in the middle of Serena's string of nasty swear words and insults.

"Sissy!" Sophie cried, and Olivia shook her head as she turned her head and looked at her sister.

"Sophie, you aren't supposed answer the phone without my permission. And how the heck did you get my phone to start?!" Olivia yelled, since she really couldn't control her anger in this moment.

"I WANT MAMA! SHE DOESN'T YELL AT ME LIKE YOU DO! YOU BIG MEANIE!" Sophie yelled, without answering her sister's questions. She quickly kicked Olivia in the shin before running to the bathroom and slamming the door shut.