oblivion

love

I'm only 4
the fighting starts
but they love each other so it's okay

I'm 5
he moved away.
I see a picture of a pretty girl
on his phone, a friend
but they love each other so it's okay

I'm 7 now
it got worse
they grew apart
but they love each other but not in that way

I'm 10
I've learned how to numb myself in their presence
but I love them deep down so it's okay

I'm 12
the truth comes out of everyone
a dam breaks making the pain damn clear
it's a miserable household
but filled with some type of love so we're "happy"

growing up. I've been taught love is filled with fights at three am. Is the absence of trust. Of loyalty. I've learned love at home, brings numb pain and tight smiles. Music. I love music. It's what helps me cope. Makes me smile. Feel lightweight. That is love. Sobbing until the sun comes up is not. Terrified of the pain love will cause is not what love is supposed to be.

a/n wowie I published sorry lmao. Feedback would be great ily yall