HARRY'S POV:
I stared back into the mirror, my lips were swollen, purple marks all over my neck, as I reminisced the week before. For the remainder of the week, all we did was sleep together every chance we got. You can imagine how that can take a toll on the body, mentally and physically.
Tracing my fingers along where he touched me. It had been months since I had felt his touch, and I finally got to feel him. That didn't mean we were on good terms.
What happened was pure lust, there was nothing romantic about it. Yes, he is my boyfriend but even I know how toxic the sex was. I'm afraid it might have ruined things between us.
We both needed each other, we were tired of fighting so we resorted to the only thing left to do. Although it was nice feeling his skin on mine, even during that he barely let me touch him. It's like he doesn't want to feel my touch, as if he feels he's contagious somehow.
All I wanted to do was hold him, dance with him, dine with him, but he always refused. All he wanted was sex, and I wasn't complaining, but now I realized we are just delaying the inevitable. We needed to talk, without ripping each other's clothes off during the process. Every time we finished, Louis would always return to his room, until the next day when we would repeat the cycle.
I was horny all the time. The sex was good yes, and left me fully satisfied, but it was never passionate. It was pure lust, nothing romantic about it, it was just two of us needing to feel each other's touch, but what I needed was him. I needed to feel his love, and currently, I wasn't feeling any of it.
I jumped at the sound of a knock on my bedroom door. A sad wave flowed over me, even before we were together Louis never felt the need to knock on my door. Now he does, and he was my boyfriend.
I quickly walked over to the door, I opened it to find Louis standing shirtless in only grey sweatpants. I admired the sight of his body. He was still pale, however, his ribs didn't show as much now, he looked better...
I stepped back into the room, leaving the door open, allowing him to come in. Louis made his way over to my bed before he shut the door behind him.
I walked over to the closet, rummaging through my clothes looking for something to throw on. "You don't really need that.." Louis said, clearing his throat. I felt my cheeks grow red, as I continued to search through my closet, finding one of his old shirts.
I changed into one of his oversized t-shirts, along with some sweatpants. Closing the closet door, Louis stood behind it. He smoothly pinned me against the door, lowering himself to my ear. I felt my body tense up feeling his breath on my neck.
Louis softly nibbled at my neck, letting small moans escape under my breath. Here I was again, completely spelled under his touch. Louis placed wet kisses all over my neck, as I ran my hand through his hair.
"Louis..." I moaned, trying to get his lips off my neck, but throwing my head back, as he trailed kisses down to my collarbone.
"I can't-" I said, squeezing my eyes shut tightly, I felt his lips leave my neck. I slowly opened my eyes, to see Louis staring right back at me.
His eyes held confusion, he ran his hand through his hair, before turning away. I cleared my throat, as I slowly regained my breath.
Louis walked over to the door, but I quickly rushed to stand in front of it, blocking him from leaving. I turned the lock on the doorknob, looking back at him, his face held an annoyed look.
My arms spread across the door, "Please Louis, I can't keep doing this!" I cried out to him. He sighed, his eyes looking directly into mine. "Please, I'm begging you, can we just talk!" I begged him, knowing I was pushing my limits.
"Harry..can you just move?" Louis said in a stern voice, holding zero emotion. I tried my best to not cry in front of him, I didn't want to seem weak.
"No!" I spat back to him, causing him to step closer. He placed his hands onto the door, so he leaned against it, his face closer to mine than ever.
"I said move."
"No."
"DAMMIT HARRY MOVE!" Louis yelled, slamming one of his hands against the door, I flinched at the movement.
"I SAID NO" I yelled back to him, as he removed himself from the door. He turned his back on me, running his hands through his hair all distressed.
"What is it about you.." Louis uttered from under his breath. My heart began racing as he sat down on the bed.
"You want to talk?"
"Then talk," Louis demanded, placing his hands on his knees, looking me straight into the eyes.
Shocked at what he was doing I remained silent. Louis rolled his eyes at the sight of me. I was nervous, I didn't know if he was being serious or not. I had so much I wanted to say to him. Just because he told me to talk, it didn't necessarily mean he would talk back.
I slid down the door to the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest. I looked at him trying to build the courage to speak to him.
"I'm nervous.." I admitted, his face changed from annoyed to confused.
"You don't know how to talk to me..?" Louis questioned me. I picked at my fingernails, "Can you blame me...I mean we haven't had a conversation in over a month."
"Sorry..I've been too busy dying," Louis mumbled. My head shot up, looking straight into his eyes.
I rolled my eyes, picking myself off the floor. "What is wrong with you?"
"You are not fucking dying!"
"Is this what this entire thing has been about?"
"You pushed me away because you think you are dying?" I accused him, raising my voice.
Louis stood up from the bed, standing still with a look of disbelief on his face. Louis burst into laughter at the sight of me. I stood confused, as I scoffed, knowing we weren't going to get anywhere without arguing.
Louis calmed down his laughter, taking a look at me. "I don't think I'm dying, I am dying!" Louis cried to me.
"Look at you,"
"Have you even begun to think of the possibility of me not being here anymore?"
"OPEN YOU DAMN EYES HARRY."
"I AM DYING, AND YOU ARE CHOOSING TO DENY IT!" Louis yelled back at me. I felt anger rise inside of me.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP-" I yelled back at him, quickly being pinned onto the door. I had pure anger in me, I wasn't going to hold back anymore.
"GET OFF OF ME-" I demanded, his hands pinning my arms against the door.
I squirmed from under him, fighting his touch. I tried pushing him off me, using my knees to push him off of me, but he never budged.
"Are you done?" He asked annoyed, as my hair laid over my face.
"I am so tired of you," I spat back at him, not thinking of my words.
"Well if you are so tired then why don't you do something about it?"
"Because I love you!"
"I'm here every day, dealing with your shit because I love you!"
"Well then stop loving me!" Louis reprimanded me.
"I CAN'T" I yelled into his face, pushing him off of me.
Louis stood in front of me, his chest rising up and down, anger seen through his eyes, he bit his lip contemplating his next move.
YOU ARE READING
Always You (L.S)
FanfictionIn honor of the famous, "Always you" by Louis Tomlinson, which inspired the name :) Louis, is exploring and working on his solo career watching his old band mates also succeed in their solo careers. Only problem is, Louis' all time muse for his s...