AN: I'm a little lit, but it is what it is. Also, this will be coming to a close soon. Prepare yourselves.
"Hey... where'd you go?"
"I'm sorry," Jamie pinched the bridge of her nose. She'd been daydreaming again. It'd seem to happen more often that not since the encounter. "I just have a lot on my mind."
"I don't why you keep it all bottled up," Nova's finger tips toyed with a lock of Jamie's hair. "I'm about to be your wife. Let me help. You know we can talk about anything."
"I'm not sure if I want to talk about it right now."
"Well," Nova's fingers fell upon Jamie's neck, "Maybe I can give you a little temporary relief until you're ready." Nova brought Jamie in for a heated kiss.
After some time, Jamie managed to reluctantly pull away. "Not tonight, okay?" Jamie kissed the top of Nova's head. "I just need to rest." Jamie turned her back to Nova.
Nova propped herself upon her elbow.
"I understand you're stuck in that head of yours, but come on. You haven't touched me in weeks. "
"I just haven't been in the mood alright," Jamie countered.
"Haven't been in the mood," Nova challenged. "Fuck out of here. It's been three weeks, Jamie. Three."
"And," Jamie challenged.
"If you aren't getting it from me, you've gotten it elsewhere." Nova continued on with a shove. "I'm not an idiot."
Tired of the nagging, Jamie got out of bed and grabbed the guitar she'd been eyeing in the corner of their bedroom. "You're talking out of your ass and I've had enough of it."
Jamie walked away, already knowing Nova would be close behind.
"Out my ass? Out my ass?! Jamie you won't touch me! We haven't gone beyond a kiss. Every night it's not tonight, not tonight. Then when?!"
Jamie sat the on the couch with the intention of playing until Nova snatched the guitar from her grasp. "No, you won't sit here and ignore me."
Jamie dropped her head in her palms. "I'm not ignoring you Nova, but I don't want to argue. And I don't want to explain myself. I'm tired of explaining myself."
"Explaining yourself," Nova questioned. "You haven't explained shit to me. You've kept me in the dark for what seems like months now." Nova cried. "You're hot one day and cold the next. I mean what in the actual fuck!? We're supposed to exchange vows next month."
"I know."
"So talk to me. I need you to talk to me. What's the problem!?"
"Look I don't need to explain myself to you, him or anyone else for that matter."
Nova prepared to lash out at her fiancé when she began to process what she'd just heard. "Him? Who the fuck is he?"
Jamie found herself panicking at the slip. "Nothing. I just—"
Nova tossed the guitar to the the side. "No. No, don't do that. Own up to it."
"Own up to what?"
Nova stood tall, trying to rid herself of the heartbreak. "The truth," she uttered, taking a seat in the adjacent chair. Jamie's eyes lingered on Nova, prompting her to ask another question. One that demanded an answer. "Who you been sleeping with?"
"Nova..."
"No, tell Jamie. Who have you been fuckin' and for how long?"
Jamie refused to entertain her partner. "You're tripping Nova. I haven't been fuckin' anyone but you, alright?"
"You're gonna sit here and lie to my face." Nova muffed Jamie's head. "You can't even admit it! C'mon, Jamie."
"It happened a few weeks back alright," she confessed, unable to look Nova in the eye."You happy?! You got your answer. You feel better knowing the truth? You feel better knowing I can't remain committed to you. Know that I'm out here doing you wrong? Huh?" Jamie roared. "You happy? You happy now?"
Jamie watched as Nova's eye began to swell with tears. "I'm never gonna be enough for you am I?"
"That's where you're wrong, Nov. It ain't you," Jamie replied, fiddling with her fingers. "As cliche as it sounds, it isn't you. It's me. You're a great girl and I love you. I do. I want to be with you and I wanna love you with all I have. I wanna marry you, but I'm not gonna do anything but continue to hurt you. At least it feels like it."
"Why," Nova replied softly.
Jamie's teeth gnawed at her bottom lip. "I have other things to figure out. I thought I had moved passed them, but I'm not so sure anymore."
Nova backed away from her fiancee. "Maybe—maybe we should take a break... a permanent one."
As much as Jamie wanted to protest. She knew that Nova was right. She needed to break free because Jamie was in no condition to give her what she wanted or needed.
Watching as Nova disappeared down the hallway, Jamie went after her. She caught her halfway, wrapping her arms around her waist. Holding her close. Holding her tight. "I'm sorry," she spoke against her hair. "I'm so sorry."
Nova shook out of Jamie's hold. "I know you are. I'll leave in the morning."
Jamie watched as her former bride to be disappeared behind their bedroom door. Standing in the spot she'd left her, she waited. Waited in the deafening silent home, waiting for some form of emotion to spill from the other side of the door. Before long, she reclaimed her throne on the couch.
She grabbed her laptop and placed the sleeping device in her lap. With her finger gliding across the trackpad she awakened it. Dragging the cursor to the mail icon, she made the selection and opened the new email prompt. She wasn't even sure if the address was still valid, yet she typed away. Leaving the subject line blanked she sent the short message.
Prince Nelson
Subject:
She's leaving.
As she placed the device back on the table the ding came rather quickly. An instant message request populated in the right hand corner of the screen. Jamie hesitated to accept the request, seeing his response swayed her.
PrncN1sn: I'm sorry.
PrncN1sn: Did U tell her?
PrncN1sn: What happened?
JJTrace: No
PrncN1sn: Y?
JJTrace: She knows enough.
PrncN1sn: I'm gonna call u
JJTrace: Don't. My phone is in the bedroom.
JJTrace: She's packing. I think.
JJTrace: She went into the bedroom.
JJTrace: It's been quiet.
PrncN1sn: Then just come here.
JJTrace: I'd rather not.
PrncN1sn: Then I'll come there.
JJTrace: No.
JJTrace: That won't work either.
JJTrace: It's 3am.
PrncN1sn: And...
PrncN1sn: I'm not trying anything.
PrncN1sn: I just want to be there for you.
PrncN1sn: Just...
PrncN1sn: I'll be there, okay?
