Chandler x Joey Stories

TOW the secret relationship - Chapter 1

(Credit to Fighting4fandoms on archiveofourown for some of this story.) This story isn't set in any season.
Chandler's POV:
I'm sitting on the floor of Monica's apartment. Everyone is here but Joey, who was out at some party with his sisters. I don't know why I'm on the floor, but I am, and I can't be bothered to move.
"What should we do?" I ask my friends. It's almost midnight and I'm bored.
"We could play a game?" Rachel suggests.
"Oh yeah, like what?" Ross asks her.
"Well, we could...ask each other questions about either ourselves or someone else and we could see who knows who the best?" She replies.
"That sounds like fun, yeah." I say, and we all agree.
"Okay, I'll go first," I say. "Monica, this one's for you. How old was I when my parents divorced?" I start off with one that everyone should know, I tell them about it every thanksgiving.
"Umm...11?" She guesses. I'm shocked.
"No, I was 9! How could you not know that, I tell you guys every year!"
"I guess I'm just so used to you telling the story, I end up ignoring you every time you tell it." She informs me.
"Oh..."
"My turn," Monica turns around on the couch to face Rachel, who is sitting next to her. "Rachel, how old do you think Joey was when he got his first blowjob?" Ah, if we move on to questions about Joey, I could get all of these. Except, I couldn't, because then my friends would ask questions about how I know all of these things and I don't want to go into detail about it, and how I've been dating him for the past 2 months. No one knows, and it's the best relationship I've ever been in.
"Seriously, Monica, what sort of question is that? How would any of us know that?" Rachel replies.
"He was 13." I say without thinking. Why the fuck did I say that. I can never keep my mouth shut, can I?
"Yes he was," Monica confirms. "Wait, Chandler, how'd you know that?" She asks, turning around to face me again. Here come the questions.
"He told me." I state. This seems to knock the curiosity out of everyone, and I'm glad.
"Seeing as Joey isn't here, we could share secrets we know about him? It would be fun..." Phoebe suggests. Oh no. I can easily win this, but I don't want to be bombarded with questions and then answer with 'he told me' every time. I hope my friends decide this isn't a good idea.
"Yes! That does sound fun!" Rachel agrees. Shit. Monica and Ross agree that this is something they think that will be fun, and I also end up agreeing because I don't want to be left out.
"Okay, so I'll ask first," Phoebe says. "Joey hasn't brought a girl home in like, forever. Or told us about any dates. What's up with that?" Why of all things would she bring up the dating thing?! It's just my luck, isn't it?
"Oh, yeah!" Rachel realises. "Yeah, that's weird. Chandler, you're his roommate, do you know anything?" I practically choke on the air I'm breathing currently. What's with the third degree?!
"No, no, I don't know anything. It's w-weird, isn't it?" I try to sound calm and causal. It sort of works.
"Chandler, you couldn't be any redder." Monica tells me. I hadn't even noticed that my face and gone red in embarrassment. I let out a breath I didn't know until now I was holding in.
"I may know something about him having a secret...girlfriend." I lie. It's partly true, all of it until the 'girlfriend' part. Because it's me he's dating, and I'm not a girl.
"Ooh, Joey's got a secret girlfriend!" Rachel says, excited. "Why haven't we met her yet? Normally Joey would introduce us to her by now!"
"Maybe she's just not ready to be meeting everyone yet." Ross shares.
"Yeah I don't think she's ready to be meeting everyone just yet." I say, quicker than I should have. I shouldn't have said it at all, because now everyone's staring at me, for more information.
"Chandler, how come you know so much about this...girl Joey's seeing?" Rachel asks. "Have you met her?" Why can't we move on from this topic already? I can just tell them I don't want to talk about Joey's secret girlfriend right now, and we can move on. Or so I think.
"Can we not talk about this stuff right now? I'm not really in the mood."
"Oooh, is Chandler a little jealous?" Phoebe says, in a flirty way. Not so much flirty, more like she's making fun of me.
"No! No! It's just, I don't feel comfortable talking about Joey's relationships. If he's kept it a secret, it's for a good reason." I explain. That seems to convince Rachel, but Monica, Ross and Phoebe don't agree.
"Naw, this is much more fun that...not doing it." Phoebe tells me.
"Yeah, come on, Chandler, don't you want to know things about your roommate, correction, best friend??" Monica asks me. Also boyfriend, I think to myself.
"No, I don't!" I get up off the floor. "Listen, you guys, I don't feel comfortable talking about this? Could you please respect that, and change the subject?" I'm serious for once.
"Okay, sorry Chandler." Monica says.
"Yeah, we could play truth or dare?" Phoebe suggests.
"Yeah, okay. Let's do that." I agree, sitting back down on the floor, where I was previously.
"Okay, Ross, truth or dare," Rachel turns on the couch to face Ross, who is in the armchair closest to the TV.
"Truth." He says.
"Okay," she thinks of a question. "Would you rather sleep with Joey or Chandler." Why are we going back to the 'sex' conversations?? And, what the fuck? Did Rachel ask Ross who of the guys he'd rather sleep with? Yes, yes i thunk she did. Oh my god.
"Umm...that would have to be...uh...neither of them?" Ross says, kinda grossed out. I feel relieved. I wish Joey would come home, so that I could leave this stupid circle of truth.
"Okay, I've got one for Chandler," Ross says. "Who out of Joey and Rachel would you want to date or sleep with?" Oh my fucking god. Could we leave the subject of sex altogether?? I need to think carefully about this question, before I go shouting out some stupid fucking answer that reveals the truth. Okay, he said Joey or Rachel, right? I would definitely rather sleep with Joey, but I can't say that out loud. So Rachel?
"Joey," I say casually. What??! I had even planned it out in my head, don't say Joey, say Rachel. Oh my god, I've screwed this up. "I mean, Rachel." I try to save myself. "Or...nobody?" I finish.
"Joey?!" Monica says, surprised.
"Seriously, Chandler, why would you rather sleep with Joey?" Phoebe asks me. I'm done with secrets. If they want tea, that's what they're gonna get.
"That's right! I'd sleep with Joey," i get up off the floor again. "I would sleep with Joey!" Before anyone gets to answer my question, Joey walks in. Oh thank god.
"Hey Joey!" I say.
"Hey, Chandler!" He replies. He doesn't seem drunk, or like he's drunk anything at all.
"You had fun at the party?" I ask.
"No, it was really boring, and they didn't even have nice alcohol, or beers!" He says, annoyed.
"Oh. That sucks, man. I'm sorry." I feel bad for him. All night at a party he didn't enjoy.
"It's okay." He says and sits on the coffee table. I sit on the floor again.
"Hey, Joey," Rachel asks. "Who would you rather sleep with, Chandler, or me?" He answers without thinking, and I really wish he had thought.
"Chandler!" He says confidently. I look at him, and he realises what he's said. "I, uh, I meant no one." He also tries to save his answer.
"Okay, so Joey and Chandler would much rather sleep with each other, two guys, than with me, a girl," Rachel says. "Is there something wrong with me?" I look at Joey, and he looks at me. We can tell them.
"Nothing's wrong with you, Rachel, it's just that sex is really good with Joey." I say confidently. Everyone just stares at me.
"What?" I ask, as if I hadn't just said that I'd had sex with Joey.
"You two...have...you've both..." Rachel starts to say.
"You've had sex with Joey??!" Monica exclaims.
"Yes, is that so bad?" I ask.
"Joey, is this true?" Rachel asks. He just looks at her, then he looks at me. We both stand up.
"Yes, it's true," He says happily. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have some...stuff we need to do." And we turn to leave the apartment. We get to the door when they all yell 'wait!'. So we do.
"What?" I ask.
"Are you two...dating?" Rachel asks.
"Yes." We both say.
"How did it happen?" Monica asks. We both move back over to where we were sitting before.
"Okay..."
———————
~ Flashback to 2 months ago ~
"Hey man, how was the audition?" I ask Joey as he enters the apartment. I grab 2 beers out of the fridge, give one to him and sit at the counter.
"It was great, until one scene. I'm supposed to kiss another actor, but after I kissed him, he said I wasn't any good at kissing! Can you believe that?"
"Wait...kissed him?" I ask, confused.
"Yes. I'm an actor, that's what I do." He says confidently.
"Alright," I say. "So, did you get the part? Do you need help practicing your lines with you?" I offer.
"I did get the part. But I need you to help me practice the kissing bit." I practically choke on my beer.
"You what?" I ask, stunned.
"The kissing scene. I want to play this part really well, and I need help kissing a guy. Because apparently it's not the same as kissing a woman." Joey is actually serious.
"I can't...I don't...no!" I stutter. I don't want to kiss Joey! That would be weird.
"Come on, Chandler, please?? It's not even a real kiss, it means nothing. We're just acting!" He's really desperate for this. I still don't want to kiss him, but he's right. We're just acting, and it means nothing.
"Okay, fine!" I give in. "Lock the door and get over here." I say. I'm not having our friends walk in on us kissing, I would never be able to live that down. Joey locks the door and I get up from where I'm sitting at the counter. Joey walks back over to me.
"Okay, um, okay..." I mentally prepare myself for this. I put my hand on the back of Joey's neck and lean towards him, closing the distance between us. I put my lips against his. He kisses me back. It's hot, like, really hot. I actually find myself enjoying it. I move my legs closer to his, so our crotches are now touching. Joey puts his hand on my face. We pull apart for air.
"That was..." I begin.
"Okay?" Joey hopes.
"Amazing. I'll tell ya, that actor guy didn't get the same kiss as me, because that was amazing." I tell him.
"You're certainly showing how amazing it was." Joey laughs. We both look down at my crotch, which is a large bulge.
"Right back at you." I say. Joey had also developed a rather impressive bulge in his pants, too.
"Well, I guess we gotta sort these out." He says, hinting something at me.
"Yeah I suppose we do." I agree. We lean in and kiss again, I can feel my pants growing tighter and tighter. Joey's dick is pressed up against mine, and I can feel his erection growing also.
———————
~ present day ~
"So yeah, that's basically what happened." I finish.
"Awwh, you guys!" Monica says, happily.
"I know, I know." I say.
"So if Joey hadn't of gotten that part, you two wouldn't have gotten together?" Rachel asks.
"I don't know really, if we hadn't practiced kissing for the part, I don't know if we would have got together." I say.
"Maybe we still would have some other way...?" Joey suggests.
———————
~ alternate universe, 2 months ago ~
"Hey, man. How was that audition?" I asked Joey as he entered the apartment.
"Really bad. I didn't get the part." He says sadly.
"Really? Why not?"
"They said I was a bad kisser, and they couldn't have a bad kisser in their stupid film."
"Awh come on, Joey. You're not a bad kisser. Do they even know how many girls you have sex with?" I joke.
"I am a bad kisser. If I was any good, they would've given me the part." He still seems sad.
"I bet I can prove that you aren't a bad kisser," I say. "Kiss me."
"What?!" He's a bit shocked by this.
"Kiss me. I'll judge your kisses."
"Okay, if you say so." He walks over to me, I put my hand on his face and the other on his waist. I press my body closer to his, our crotches touching. I lean in to him and kiss him. Slowly at first, and then I feel him kiss me back. It's really nice. I feel my erection grow. I continue to kiss him, and break apart for some air.
"How was that?" He says.
"Incredible," I say. "That actor didn't get the same kiss as me." I lean back in to kiss him again. I feel my pants start to get tighter. I feel Joey's erection against mine. I break the kiss.
"Bedroom?" I suggest.
"Yes, oh god yes."
———————
(2309 words. Sorry for lack of sex, please let me know if you want more sex stuff.)