A Gallery of Love

8 : The last of us

"Love is not cruel,
We are cruel.
Love is not a game,
We have made a game..
Out of love."

Shehnaaz stood by herself in the kitchen area late afternoon. Yet another day at the brink of passing away successfully. Well at least on the outer shell of herself. Her insides were left withering again, not sure what exactly she was expecting anyway. They hadn't talked for days, nothing would change out of the blue. Not unless she caved in again. Something even her heart was hesitant to do. It felt as if god himself had planned against her this time. The forgiving self she was leaving her at edge wanting to clear the slate and move on like she always did. Yet on the other hand she knew moving on was uncertain and the things he said weren't something she could just brush off. All of it had been uncalled for. She'd done nothing of the sort to pain him to extent he seemed to have dug himself down to. She'd gotten to know quite a lot of him over the past few months. The overly usual overthinkingness of his she was very familiar with. He'd worry over things she felt were simple, easy and not taxing. For example living cordially with everyone despite what she knew they felt about her, avoiding picking up fights over stupid things like getting hurt in tasks and further not letting herself loose after being reprimanded for showing her breakdown. Things were easier this way and that's what she liked. She'd always chosen the easier route out in theses things. They worked in the outside world very well. This house however had her constantly wind up in fights because of the same. Or moreso because she treated everyone the way she'd like to be treated. Like they had a heart alike her own. It hadn't taken long to know that they didn't but she gave them an advantage in doubt that just perhaps they may soften up to her as well. That just by chance theyll understand her like she understood them. She saw each individual in this house at the basis of their potential instead of who they claimed to be. She was a born giver. The type that give until they're left empty enough to not be able to. She didn't know how to live in balance. Neither in the exchange of love or simply emotions nor in putting out her own. When she was sad, she let it show, poured out her emotions through her eyes up until when her insides emptied. When she was happy, you'd see it from the glint radiating from her eyes or how her face shone. Her anger too was the same. She didn't just yell and furrow, she burned. She felt everything in extremes. Love too. Because when she loved, she simply did just that. Without a worry of anyone other than herself and who she was in love with. She supported the person as much as she could not calculating it off of what she got back. And as awful as that may be, it'd given her some of the most important lessons of her life. Ones she know understood she'd have to implement.

Her eyes darted off to Sidharth who now moved back into the bedroom, his hair still left damp from the shower. He tightened and loosened his jaw passing her a quick glance, the way his hands fiddled bringing the notice that he was trying to initiate a conversation again. If the anger hadn't already been riling up her throat again, she would've let out a laugh. The man she'd narrated the deepest of her fears and accomplishments to now seemed to feel too distant to even simply come up and talk to her. Holding her stance she worked her way back to the mirror she stood against earlier, entertaining herself on her own. She glanced back again doubting that she'd seen him gesture for him to follow into the bedroom, the doubt removed as he gestured the same again. She walked across the hall to the door, walking inside with just the slightest of smiles on her face. He looked much to serious to be calling her for an on the spot conversation and the thought of him having pondered over what to say in the shower left her undeniably amused.

Si - "Vaise tune toh apne usmein boldiya ki woh.. main un log k sath baith ta hu jo Tujhe burah bhala bolte hai..."

"Pehle bta bathroom mein soch kr aya yeh?" She giggled standing before the bed, not being able to help herself watching his face concentrate so keenly on his words.