Popcorn

38. Neither Mr Perfect nor Mr Wrong

Bangalore

Rakshan sitting on the black leather chair stretched his sore arms. Shifting his gaze from the data sheet on his laptop screen, he looked at his favourite book 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull' resting on his desk. Finally, he had got his own copy of the book. All thanks to Aditi for gifting him the book. Smiling, Rakshan took the book and flipped the first page to read the note written on it.

Mr Fireball,

When you feel like quitting , remember why you started.

-Aditi

He wondered whether she wrote it based on his professional or personal life. Whatever it was he needed the quote both for his love and dream. After all, he had got another reason to never give upon his love. It had been over a week since he had last texted her. He didn't wanted to influence her decision and gave her space to sort out her feelings.

Suddenly, his phone rang. Keeping his book down, he looked at the caller id which gave him a mini heart attack. He knew she would call him but he hadn't expected her to call him so soon. This woman seriously knew how to make him nervous, excited, confused and all at the same time.

Placing a hand on his erratic heart, he swiped the green icon on his phone.

"Hello Aditi!"

"Rakshan... I'm sorry. I was about to call someone else by mistake my hand slipped on your number. Bye!" Aditi blurted under a single breath. She face palmed herself for being a coward and moved the phone from her ears to cut the call.

"Aditi" Rakshan said in a strict tone which was enough for her to hold the phone close to her ears.

"How are you, Rakshan?" Aditi asked softly making him smile.

"I'm good Aditi. Did you have your dinner?"

"I had and you?" Aditi giggled, he was never going to change.

"Yes!"

"Are you free?"

"I am. Just now completed my work."

Aditi let out a sigh. She knew she needed answers. She had to do this for herself and him. She can't keep leading him on. Bracing her heart, her shivering voice reached Rakshan's ears.

"Why do you love me, Rakshan?"

Rakshan chuckled from the other end, his warm chuckle giving a soothing solace to her heart as a gentle smile traced her chewed lips.

"Aditi, honestly I don't know why I love you. I have no reasons to say why I love you. Love doesn't need reasons Aditi. It happens...just then and there."

Aditi shook her head in disapproval and grumbled, "Mr Fireball I need straight answers. Don't talk to me in puzzles?"

Rakshan smiled hearing his nickname. Though in exasperation she had called, it felt close to him.

"Aditi, I don't know why I love you but with you I feel complete, happy. I feel being myself. With you, its just you and me."

"Why are you loving a person who isn't ready to love, Rakshan?"She sighed.

"Aditi, you don't need to answer me. Answer yourself are you afraid to fall in love or are you afraid to fall in love with a wrong person and get hurt?"

Aditi gulped. A silence transpired in the line. He was correct. She was never against love. She believed in love too but she was afraid of getting hurt. She feared falling in love with a wrong person. 

"Aditi" Rakshan started gently, "I don't know whether I'm the right person for you nor I can give you a guarantee that I will always be in my best version. No Aditi, I want you to see my true self and fall for that person. I may be a strong person to the outside world but deep down I'm a human with my own set of weakness and fears."

"When I fall down, I need your shoulders to cry. I want to share and celebrate my happiness and dreams with you. There can be times I may lose my temper on you but your respect will be more higher to me than my temper. I can't promise I will not be angry with you. I will fight with you and I will fight for you because I love you, Aditi. I will shout at you, when I see you do something wrong because I care for you, Aditi. There can be times where I may release my frustration on you not because I treat you as a machine. I see you as a person who will listen to me calmly and will guide me, help me out. We may have disagreements but if we put aside our egos and sit down and talk, we may find a better, a common ground for our crisis. At times, I may want you to pamper me because I want to be your child too. I want to share my everything and be honest with you in all stages of our life." Rakshan stopped and after a minute of pause he continued.

"Aditi, I hope I have earned enough trust of yours that you may know I respect women and I'm a one man woman. I can just say I may not be your Mr Perfect but I will never be your Mr Wrong, Aditi."

A muffled sob from the other end stopped Rakshan.

"Shut up, Mr Fireball. I trust you more than myself. Its not you its within me. What if I don't meet your expectations? I don't even understand what's love. What if I never reciprocate your feelings? Will you be happy? " Aditi bawled squeezing her face into the pillow.

"Aditi you're neither a machine I have bought to meet my expectations nor love is a barter system. Love is pure and pious Aditi. Its selfless. And Aditi its you who is oblivious to the love and care you shower on people. Earning someone's trust is difficult and you trust me. What more do I need? Talking about love, love is..... connection of hearts.... connected by trust, mutual respect and care, Aditi. I know what I feel for you is neither lust or physical desires, its something more like a strong rope connected between emotional, mental and physical aspects. Together we can learn to love each other, till then I'm happy with loving you, Aditi."

"Rakshan, I'm leaving to Denmark in another five days. Long distance relationship? Why do you want it? Rakshan, I can't see you getting hurt." She cried, losing her hold on her composure. Rakshan shook his head this women was completely incognizant to the love she rendered on him and smiled. He was content with the fact she thought of giving their relation a chance and took it as a green signal.

"Aditi, long distance these terms are made by us. If we truly value a person in our life, then these distances are small. After going to Denmark, your love for your family shortened? Or did you forget them? No, right. I trust you, Aditi. When we both put equal efforts for our love, nothing can come between us. We will sort it out. Distance may fall short, when we mean so much for each other."

"Mr Fireball, you better close your company and become a lawyer." Aditi mumbled making both of them laugh.

"Aditi..." Rakshan breathed throwing his head back on the tanned leather chair, closing his eyes.

"Rakshan..." Aditi said gently sliding on the bed headrest, clutching her pillow tightly to her chest. They sat embracing the serene silence between them with a  smile on their face.

Aditi placed her palm on her heart and smiled. She listened to her heart crushing all her fears and logics. She knew what she had to do.

----------------------------------