Chasing My Heart

The Past and The Present

If there's one thing I know, I'm not your typical girl: modest, intelligent and definitely an introvert. I enjoy keeping a quite life in a tidy home, with a suitable job surrounded by novels 24/7 ranging from all the classics; Wuthering Heights, The great Gatsby to children's books like Where's Wally? I had everything I thought I needed in life and one thing I desperately didn't want. My father's grueling debt.

As an only child, with a deceased mother and one incompetent dad I learnt to care for myself. George, my father, is a drunk and a gambler to put it nicely.
Way to go me! I thought.

This was a fun little game of mine, picturing my life as if I was just a random character in a book.
It always passed the time while I close up the community library I work in, it turned sorting shelves, putting away returns and all that jazz, fun.

Flicking off the light switches, I exited the library, shoving my key into the door to secure the lock in place officially ending my shift. Hooray! I thought.

I do love my job but the lack of sleep I've been enduring due to stressing over my dad's large debt, is testing my sanity. It's the biggest debt yet and poor old dad seems to think it's okay to put that shit on me. Like I sucker, I give in. Handing over my savings and usually my last dollar to settle the score for him. This time it's different.

100 freaking thousand dollars! I've barely scraped up enough to pay my electricity bill. No doubt that I have avoided men all my life. Disappointed in the one man that should take care of me. 

All though, I can't blame him all for that, at some point it ends up being my choice to live in my own little world. I'm still a virgin too. When time goes on it gets harder and harder to tell a guy your haven't had sex. Quite embarrassing really. I've never met the right guy either. I mentally scold myself, more excuses.

Dropping my library keys into my bag, I switched it out for my phone. Descending the library steps I start my refreshing walk home  while scrolling through my most recent notifications. Spam emails, Netflix show update, text message from Sandy, and of course 26 missed calls from dad. Not again.

My finger hovered over George's name, holding my breath, I hit dial. Fairly certain I will regret it. Looking up to the starry night I pray for a miracle. Maybe he just wants to say hi to his only daughter? I doubt it. One ring, two rings, three rings... 

"Emma... my sweet little girl" , George slurs on the other end of the phone. Positive its due to a questionable amount of alcohol running through his blood stream.

"What is it now dad?", I sigh into the speaker.  

"Do you remember, well you remember don't you? You wouldn't forget about my troubles? Your kind enough to help dear old dad aren't you?" 

"Your debt you mean?"  My blood is beginning to boil considering it's a chilly out tonight and the winds picking up. My walk home was suppose to be relaxing, and peaceful. It's only a short two blocks away.

"You remember! So you will help me then?" , I can hear the drunken hopefulness in his voice and its sad really. 

After mum died in a car accident dad hasn't been the same, I don't blame him for hurting, he just had other responsibilities he needed to step up for. Responsibilities meaning me. I was 10 at the time. 

"I told you, I have no money to give! I can't help you this time", My voice begins to raise in exasperation, a few bystanders walking home, and enjoying the night life stop and stare as if I have grown two heads. One particular Man caught my eye, wearing a three piece suits, black hair, a good figure as far as I can tell. He looks expensive under the dim lights on the side walk. What was unsettling is, he was eyeing me too.  

"Sweety, we don't need money. We, well you can pay another way. Just here me out" ,

"Oh yeah, and what ways that, GEORGE", I know it bothers him when I don't call him dad. If you can even call him that. 

"All you have to do is get married! See that sounds so easy doesn't it? A nice man will you pick you up and take you somewhere to meet men! A rich, very rich man will pay to marry you! So simple sweety!".  

George almost seems so proud of himself, like this grand idea doesn't have giant, red warning flags all over it, as if it doesn't bother the crap out of me. How can a farther try and auction off his daughter? What the actual fuck. 

"Sweety, you there? I knew it! I knew you'd love my idea. You need a man anyway! It's perfect. Thanks you for understanding sweety. I gave the two guys your address already! They should be there when you get home sweety! You the best daughter ever," His rambles of  misguided gratitude keep flowing out of the phone. 

Stopping mid step and  unable to reply, either from, shock, fear or just complete red hot rage, I don't know. My stomach and heart  sunk so deep  I didn't think it was humanly possible. Oh my god... I can't go home. What if there is someone at my house? What do I do now? How can he possibly work up the freaking nerve to hand out my address to random people who he owes money too?  In anger I clench my jaw tight, trying to control my breathing and work up the courage of what to say or do next. Quiet literally lost in my own thoughts, a wave of nausea rolls through me and it takes everything in me not to empty the contents of my stomach over the road.  

I can still hear Georges muddled voice coming through the phone and in the background there is a faint voice yelling something and footsteps that seem to get closer. Overcome with astonishment I dropped my phone and let it hit the concrete with a clatter. Looking up I noticed two bright lights heading my way;  car headlights, Shit. My heart beat quickened as I pleaded with the rest of my body to hurry up and move; horns blared sounding a warning to get a move on. Turning to jump out of the way a hard body collided with my own effectively forcing me backwards into a grassy pile on the nature strip.

"Open your eyes Emma," My mysterious savour demanded. 

Not even realising my eyes where squeezed shut, I peaked one eye open, then the next. Dark hair, thee price suit, toned body. Mr. Expensive from before was my saviour.

Rushing to get up and attempting to swipe away the grass stains from white 3/4 length skirt I rushed out my apology and thanks. Still consumed with the news George dumped on me.

"Uhh, I'm sorry to have had bothered you. Thanks for the save but I need to hurry home now". A hand grabbed my wrist has I went to turn away.

"Hurrying home might be a bad idea considering your circumstances, don't you agree?" "Ahhhh, yes so we know I'm right. Glad that's out of the way". 

Shaken up and ready to enter my flight or fight mode I don't bother turning to face this man.

"My circumstances are none of your concerned. As I've said, I appreciate your help but I'm quite capable to work things out from here". 

"Oh so your quite happy to enter your home with two stranger men currently sitting in your living room who want to take you away?" "Fine off you go".

Curiosity killed my resolve. Slowly turning my head, I eye the man warily. 

"How do you know who's in my home? and why do you care? Or more importantly what do you want?" I respond with a clipped tone. 

"Look Emma, there's a café around the corner. I'll get you something to drink, food and I will talk. I think your odds are better with me than being at home right now. What have you got to lose?"

This man was right. What did I have to lose at this point? Peering out onto the road I was almost road kill on, I notice my phone, crushed with little bits scattered everywhere. Can't call for help either. Great.

"Fine, lead the way then."