Mono No Aware

Impermanence

"Mono-no-aware...a Japanese term for the awareness of the impermanence of things and both the transient gentle sadness or wistfulness at their passing, as well as a longer deeper gentle sadness about this state being the reality of life.

When most people hear the saying the first thing that comes to mind is the cherry blossom tree, and the beautiful life cycle of their flowers, but what better example can we find of this? Well it's none other than...a human life.

It can be long or it can be short either way it can come to an abrupt end. No matter what there will always be someone who isn't expecting it but there will also be those that will be.
At some point everyone dies, everyone passes on and leaves an emptiness in their wake.

But life and living can be beautiful and worth every second. And it's only until then when you realize this where you can truly come to understand the importance of that phrase, Mono-no-aware. Life is impermanent, it's fleeting, and can be taken away at any second. It's all together beautiful and sad. To watch a life bloom and wilt away is soul changing.

So what do you do? When you realize this? Do you live with purpose, or with spontaneity? I suppose the good thing is, that it's your decision....well for most of us."

I sighed and closed the book. My therapist was the one to suggest it to me but was that really the best idea? Something that makes me question my life? As if I'm not already doing that enough as it is? It's not like I don't want to live I do I truly do...just not like I am now.

I have hope that things will get better I guess you could say I have faith that things will get better. That I'll end up somewhere great eventually. I keep pushing through my studies and school and work myself down to the bone at work.

I never really had much growing up, so i've had to work extra hard. And I'm not particularly talented either, I'm terrible at math, business confuses me, I'm as uncoordinated as a newborn baby giraffe and literature isn't really my forte. But creativity...art? Now that's where I thrive.

What better way to express oneself than through ART? through all the different forms of it? When I told my parents that I was going to an art school after high school I got an earful and when I refuse to concede with their demands I was promptly disowned.

I don't really think that bothered me as much as it probably should have my parents were always demanding and didn't really pay mine to what I enjoyed and what made me happy. It's probably due to how I grew up that I've developed this...problem. I love people and I think life is beautiful just not my own.

But I still try hard and I still strive to make it better because one day I know that it'll be worth it, it'll be worth all of the pain and the tears I've shed. I live alone now in a small studio apartment. I have a part-time job and I put in a lot of overtime hours, it's enough to get by and still get through school.

And luckily my manager takes pity on me and lets me take home a bag of groceries and food with me every week, free of charge. One of those days, i shuffled my bags to the side and moved down on the bus bench to make room for another person.

I shove the book into my backpack and glanced at my watch. The bus would be arriving soon and I could finally go home and get some rest I just so happened to be off today from school and work so I decided to stop in and pick up a bag of groceries, mostly instant noodles and pre-packaged food, typical college student sustenance.

It was surprisingly a beautiful day. The sun was bright and there was a gentle breeze and it was just the right temperature, not too hot but not too cold. I felt the wind weave through the orange curls of my hair. I stared off in front of me watching the cars drive by. Watching each and every person go about their day.

Each and every one of them has their own life separate from mine, separate from yours. Each person has their own thoughts and feelings. They have a past, a present and for most of them, a future. Isn't that crazy to think about? All of these people have their own story and it's so different from yours.

Once in awhile you'll find a person who story isn't that different whose life has taken a similar route as yours and even if that's the case they're still complete individuals. They still have their uniqueness about them.

I sighed and glanced down the sidewalk across the street. There was a little girl walking her dog. She had a spring in her step and a smile on her face. The dog was almost the same size as her yet no doubt still a puppy they were both just children. And as children do they can get distracted.

Suddenly the dog's attention was pulled away from the walk in front of them I looked in the direction the dog was now looking and noticed a cat sprinting across the street. I sat up a little bit on the bench and clenched both of my fists.

No. Don't do it. That little girl won't be able to stop you.

Too late. Just like that the dog made a sharp turn, dragging the little girl behind him. He ran after the cat right into the street...just as the cars started to move once again. I watched in horror as the poor girl struggled to get a grip on the dog, she fell and was being dragged. As she continued to try and regain her footing people watched on.

Was no one going to help her? Was everyone really too scared? It was all happening so fast what if the cars don't slow down in time? I suppose I asked that question too soon...or perhaps not soon enough. There was a truck coming, incredibly fast too, there wasn't enough time for it to stop if it keeps going, if she keeps holding on things won't end well.

I don't know what happened. I didn't feel myself move...I just did. Maybe it was that longing for peace that resided deep inside of me that made me risk my life. Maybe it was that I hopelessly care for people. Either way the only thing I remember was seeing that little girl's face and the tears that weld up in her eyes. The scratches on her knees and on her palms and the yelp of her dog.

And then darkness. Absolutely nothingness. It was like I was floating, I tried to move around but nothing I did would work. I couldn't feel my body I couldn't feel my arms and legs, I didn't even know if I still had any.

I wondered if this was it, is this what death is like? Because if so it's very underwhelming and a little disappointing. Am I going to be stuck like this for eternity now? How boring at least let me watch some anime or listen to music. I internally side and swept my eyes all around trying to see if I could make something out in the pitch black darkness.

And then out of nowhere I heard whispers. Disembodied voices echoed around me, none of their words were discernible. "H-hello?" I spoke allowed, earning great surprise to myself at how loud my voice sounded in this nothingness. It reverberated an echo throughout my surroundings or lack thereof.

No response. But I wasn't surprised, the whispers continued and they seem to be getting closer. My heart was racing I didn't know what to expect is this the judgment that's to come is this where I find out what's next? At that moment it felt something. Like tiny little hands all over my body. They lifted me up and held on to me firmly.

The whispers were now directly in my ears but I couldn't understand any of the words that were spoken the language was foreign to me. And the feeling I got from the presences around me was foreign as well. And yet I wasn't afraid I felt comforted somehow, I felt safe. The feeling of warmth washed over my body and I relaxed a little. Somehow I knew I would be okay.

(A/N) Hello everyone! If you're a returning reader of mine then welcome back I'm glad to see that you've chosen to enjoy one of my original stories! And if you're new here then I'm so happy you've decided to join us! Thank you all for giving me a chance. I know this first chapter was a little short but I just couldn't wait to get it out 😊 hopefully I've managed to capture your attention and keeping my fingers crossed I hope that you'll continue to enjoy this book as I update it! Again thank you all ❤️ I love you!