Predictable

oh no he gonna die????!

  i have never been on an airplane or in hell so some of the details may be wrong. if you feel the need to correct me, leave a comment. the more polite you are, the less sarcasm you get (:

       I walked up and down the aisles, just being a flight attendant guy, answering questions or making sure the passengers' airplane food wasn't "terrible, definitely poisoned and an attempt on my life" (her words, not mine). I was checking some security measures when I saw it.

The door.

The door to exit the airplane. I'm not stupid; I knew we were flying thousands of miles above the earth, above the ocean, and were I to jump, I'd die the moment I hit the water's surface. Yet... there was a sensation, a feeling, that was pulling me toward it. I'd worked as a flight attendant for weeks, but I had yet to feel the feeling, the exhilaration of the wind rushing past my face at high speeds. And I wanted that feeling. At this point... dying was worth it.

       "Hey! Move it!" a woman snapped. "I'm watching something here!"

       "Oh! Sorry!"

Thankfully, it was a very long flight, so I had time. A few hours in, when all of the passengers were sleeping, I crept over to the door, carefully disengaging the security measures attached before pulling it open.

The sudden intense pull out of the plane and the cold temperature caught me a bit off guard, but I was able to hold on. It felt amazing - almost exactly how I imagined it. And the view was... breathtaking.

       Unfortunately, the view was actually, literally breathtaking. The fact that we were so high up meant that most of the air was rushing out of the cabin, leaving almost none to breathe. "Woah, there's barely any air in here. Better close the door before we all asphyxiate. Don't wanna give Dee any more work than he already has..."

      Carefully, I reached over to the door and got hold of the edge. I began to pull it closed, having to put in extra effort to fight the wind, when I heard a voice behind me.

       "What the hell are you doing?!" I whirled around, now facing the source of the voice. It was one of the other flight attendants, and she did not look happy.

       "Uhhh..." I backed away slowly, my hands up in surrender, but forgot to hold on to something and was sucked out of the plane. "Oops-"

       Suddenly I was free falling, fast, faster yet faster, the plane far above me and continuing on, away from me, or was I away from it? That didn't matter, because I was falling, falling, towards the ocean, wind pushing my hair back, and I wondered if maybe this was what I wanted when I opened that door. It's not what I want now for sure, I thought, staring down at the  endless ocean with wide eyes.

       Suddenly my cell phone rang. "Woah, I'm getting reception out here?" Curious, I answered the call. "Hello?"

       "Hey."

       I instantly brightened. "Dee! Hey, long time no talk!"

       "Long time? I called you last- Oh wait, never mind, it's been like a month, hasn't it? Sorry."

       "It's okay, you got stuff to do. So, what is it this time?" I said in a fake annoyed voice, pretending like I didn't already know.

       Dee, more commonly known as the Angel of Death, answered, "I got the 'uh oh Bill did a stupid thing and is gonna die in like ten minutes' alert. What did you do this time?"

       "You have a special alert? Just for me? I'm honored," I teased.

       "With you, it's a necessity."