the girl in the green house » david dobrik au

thirteen

It was only a little bit awkward. Sitting on David's bed with a steady stream of tears falling down my face, I mean. It could've been worse.

I just hated crying in front of people. I prided myself on being a light to everyone, trying to keep everyone happy at all times. I didn't want anyone to know that I was able to be hurt too, but sometimes, you just need a friend.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" he hesitantly asked. It had been silent for the last five minutes. As soon as I walked in and he realized I was actually crying, all he did was wrap me in a hug and sit me down on the bed with him. That's what I liked about David. He knew I'd talk if I wanted to talk, and he knew I wouldn't if I didn't.

"My brother sent me a letter in the mail today," I told him. "That's the first time he's ever tried to contact me since he left. Six years."

"Holy shit," those seemed to be the only words David could form. He stared at me, dumbfounded, waiting for me to continue.

"He, um... he said he missed me. He said he missed me, and... he said that he was gay," I told him. "And he had told my parents before he left. And they told him to basically forget about that, because a Calhoun can't be gay in Calhoun. He told them his secret, and they didn't approve, so he just... he left."

"He left," David repeated. "Holy shit, Lu. Are you okay?"

"I don't even know anymore," tears welled up in my eyes once again. "I've spent all these years wondering. I mean, yeah, Calhoun is a shitty little town, but you gotta be desperate to get out to leave at sixteen. And I asked my parents for months after he ran away if they knew why, and they never told me anything. They never said a word. It's so mean. I thought he hated me, but he really just hated them."

"Come here," David once again wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry he left, and I'm sorry he left because they didn't accept him."

"Yeah... sad, ain't it?" I smiled at him, my vision blurry from the tears. "He invited me to his wedding. Says he lives in New York and he met a real nice boy up there. His boyfriend's name is John, and their wedding's gonna be July the seventh."

"Are you going to go?"

I shrugged, "I hope so. I don't know if my parents will let me. And driving up to New York seems like a lot. I think I'd have to have their permission to get on a plane."

"You're eighteen and loaded. I'm pretty sure you can just buy a plane ticket and go," he joked. "But maybe you should talk it over with them first. And write him back."

"What is there to even talk over?"

"Just... you know. They are going to have excuses. Obviously, there's no excuse that could ever cover what they did, but I'd at least hear them out. It might give you some closure. Are you scared to see him again?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Feels like he's gonna be so different. And I feel like I haven't changed much, so that might be weird. I don't know. You'd come, right?"

"What?"

"You'd come with me to New York for the wedding?" I asked again, but suddenly, it felt like a heavy question. A question I shouldn't have asked.

He stared at me for a moment, then slowly, a smile stretched across his face. "Yeah. Of course I would, if you wanted me there."

"I do," I nodded. "Need some stability."

"You wouldn't bring any of your other friends?"

"No," I shook my head. "You're my favorite. I feel like a different person when I'm around you. And you're from Chicago, so I'm sure you could help me navigate the city."

"I would love to see Little Miss Luella Emmerson in the city," he chuckled. "God, you'd be crying at how rude people are up there. You and your southern hospitality will be so damn confused."

He was the only one who could call me Luella, I decided in that moment. It only sounded right coming from his mouth.

"I—"

The door cracked open, and the corner of Maude's head peeked through the space. She said, "I brought you two some hot chocolate. And I brought you some towels and some extra blankets. I assume you're spending the night?"

"Oh, I wouldn't want to intrude—"

"You're spending the night," David interrupted, getting up to take the tray with mugs on it from her while she carefully set the towels and blankets down beside the door. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Maude," I smiled at her. "And I'm real sorry for barging in."

"You're never a trouble, dear," she softly grinned. "Let me know if you need anything else. I'm sure David can loan you some clothes to wear to bed. You probably don't want my old nightgowns."

"Yeah, I've got that covered," David told her. "Thank you."

"Goodnight, my dears."

"Goodnight, Maude."

She left us alone, my feet gently swaying a few inches above the floor. It was quiet for a moment. I said, "I guess I should've grabbed my weed before I ran over here crying."

"You think my grandma has a stash anywhere?" he joked, knowing it'd ease my mood.

"If anyone in this town had one, I wouldn't doubt that it's her. She's mellow."

"Mellow," he giggled. "I like that. You're mellow."

"It's because I smoke so much."

"I have wine," he told me. "Maude doesn't know about it. If you want a glass. You seem like you need one."

"We won't get caught, right?" I hesitantly asked. "Don't want her to think any less of me."

"Nah, we'll be fine," he nodded. "It's a screw top and it's in here. All I have to do is get cups."

"Just drink your hot chocolate," I said. "I don't want to bother her with a bunch of sounds."

"Lulu, she is obsessed with you. I don't think she'll care as long as we're not screaming."

"Drink your hot chocolate," I repeated. "For me."

"Well... anything for you."

Honestly freaking out a little bc what am i supposed to do without david :( like hes my comfort person watching his vids genuinely got me through some HORRIBLE times in my life and it feels so shitty knowing he condoned and even spurred on some really horrible things but like...... thats my baby what do i do