Silent Hero

Alone.

Harry was sitting in his room, full of grief. He couldn't believe that Sirius was dead. He felt guilt. It was his fault. It was his fault that Sirius died a few weeks ago in the Department of Mysteries. If at all possible he hated Voldemort more than ever. Nobody was left. There was nobody else in this world to live for. He lost everyone.

Of course, he was still living with his aunt, but honestly- they couldn't care less. And so did he. If there was any feeling towards them it was hatred.

And his friends, well... He knew they weren't real friends.

Again, he looked back to his first ride to Hogwarts. He was just a happy eleven-year-old boy that had recently learned that he was a wizard. He was excited, Merlin he was. And happier than anytime before in his entire life.

This was a very eventful day. He met a nice family, the Weasleys. Two of them attracted his attention the most. First there was a little girl, Ginny. The youngest of the seven siblings. She was nice and shy but somehow Harry felt connected to her. She just seemed as nervous as he was, despite the fact that she must know all about magic.
Second there was Ron. A nice bloke in his opinion. They shared a compartment on their way to Hogwarts and he felt as if he could be a real friend.
Harry sighed at this thought.

Later on their first day he met another guy. Draco Malfoy. He didn't know how to react to his offer to help him how to choose the 'better' wizards and just shook his hand. He really didn't want to have an enemy right from the start. The Sorting Ceremony began and to everyone's surprise Harry was sorted into Slytherin.
He himself didn't know how react. He got the feeling that this wasn't the right place for him, especially since Ron was sorted to Gryffindor. But well, there he was and he was glad that he didn't reject Draco's handshake earlier.

His heart sunk as he learned that Slytherins and Gryffindors were supposed to hate each other. But he liked Ron way too much and at least wanted to try to be friends with him.

At first it seemed to work. He even made friends with another Gryffindor, Hermione Ganger. She was a smart girl, possibly the brightest witch of her age.
But at the end of his second year he learned that things are not that easy.

It had been a horrible year. The Chamber of Secrets was opened again. A monster attacked muggleborn students several times and everybody had been afraid that somebody could die next time.
In the end it was for him to save Ron's sister Ginny. She was possessed by Voldemort (him again!) and Harry nearly failed to rescue her.

He was shocked when he met Draco a week later in the common room. He threatened him to take revenge if he wouldn't stop meeting the Gryffindors, for it was his father, Lucius Malfoy, who gave this evil diary with Voldemort's soul to Ginny. He seemed to think that Harry was responsible for the disgrace the Malfoys fell in. No Weasley or Granger would remain unharmed.

Harry remembered his feelings at that time. Relief as he knew Ginny and the muggleborns were safe. Anger towards Lucius Malfoy for his evil behaviour. Regret that he shook Draco's hand on his first day. But most of all- he felt lost.
He didn't know what to do. Ron was his friend, his best mate. He is funny and loyal. And so was Hermoine. And he had the feeling that they didn't like him for his fame. They liked him only because he was Harry.

On the other hand there was Draco and his gang. They called him 'mate' but he knew better. For them he was just famous Harry Potter, the boy who lived.
But he knew them - especially Draco - too well to not take this threat seriously. He was a Malfoy. He wouldn't hesitate to hurt his friends, so there was only one way to prevent them from further harm. He had to cut the ties. This was the one and only way to keep them safe.

Harry sighed at this thought. Why was it always him? He really needed friends like Ron and Hermione. Someone to comfort him in his grief. Someone to make him laugh again. Someone he could trust. Thinking about it, Harry regretted his former actions. Maybe he should have told them. Instead of telling them about the threat he just kept being mean to push them away. Ron and Hermione tried several times to reach him, they wanted a reason why Harry's behaviour suddenly changed. Ron's sister tried even harder. But after several weeks the day came. The day Ron shot back. He was mean. Frustrated that his best mate turned his back on him. And Harry knew his friends and their families were safe. His heart ached.
They were safe. It was all he wanted- he tried to safe them at any costs. But why did it hurt so much? Even now, four years later, it still hurt. There was no way back though. They were supposed to hate each other. And indeed, they did a great job to convince everybody that there was no such thing as friendship between them.

Worse than Ron and Hermione was only Ginny. After the incidence in the Chamber of Secrets it was really hard to stay away from her. He liked her from day one, at platform 9 ¾ and getting to know her better during his second year didn't help much with his plan to prevent any harm. She grew up and became a real badass after she accepted the fact that Harry wasn't the nice bloke he used to be. They really hated him. For not being a friend anymore and for being the mean Slytherin Draco forced him to be.

He played his role well and eventually made friends with Malfoy. Perhaps just to be not alone.

And eventually he started to change. He became mean. Not only mean, but really bad. Threatening and bullying everybody around them. Why? Because they could. And somehow he lost himself on this way.

All of a sudden he remembered the day Sirius died. Voldemort made Harry believe that he tortured Sirius in the Department of Mysteries. He tried to convince Malfoy and some other Slytherins to help him rescuing his godfather. But they only laughed and told him that Sirius isn't worth the try. In the end it was Lucius Malfoy of all people that lead the trap to get Voldemort the prophecy. Afterwards he wondered if Draco knew something but he didn't dare to confront him. The show must go on.