Hyungwon finally gets ahold of Seulki
Seulki grinned widely as Hyungwon's name popped up on her phone screen. She felt like she hadn't seen nor talked to him in forever and she only had herself to blame for that. She had been super busy and barely had time to talk to herself. She felt guilty, extremely and had actually planned on calling him today. She had the next few days off and wanted to see him. "Hello?" She spoke happily into the phone. Hyungwon, however, didn't sound too happy.
"Oh, you have time to talk?" He asked but she could hear the annoyance in his voice. She gulped and tried to stay positive. He had every right to be annoyed. She had barely talked to him in over a month. "I was actually going to call you. I'm free the next few days and I would like to see you." Hyungwon hummed into the receiver. "At your dorm, right? Because you sold your apartment. I found that out when I went there the other day."
Seulki gasped and felt her heart drop. She hadn't even told the boys she was selling her apartment but how could she not tell Hyungwon?! Especially when he was coming over more than anyone. "Won-ie, I'm sorry. I've been so busy that it must have just-"
"Slipped your mind?" He cut her off and she sighed. "Yeah." Hyungwon only sighed. "I'm free later today. I'll come by your dorm. I think we need to talk." Seulki agreed and the two hung up. She felt like her stomach was in knots and as if she wanted to cry. She had been a terrible girlfriend lately; she knew that. She couldn't believe that she hadn't told him about her moving. How could she leave something like that out the last time they talked? When was the last time they actually talked?
Seulki groaned, sinking into the chair and feeling a migraine coming on. Hyungwon was pissed and he had every right to be. But she didn't know how to fix this. She didn't know what was going through his head. She knew from movies and books whenever someone said we need to talk was never a good sign for anything. Her anxiety kicked in and she was a little surprised when she felt a tear fall.
"Hey, Seulki did you see-are you crying?" Namjoon said, alarmed. Seulki wiped her cheek and shook her head. "No, no, I'm okay. What are you looking for?" Namjoon didn't believe a word out of her mouth, taking the seat across from her. "That doesn't matter. I'll find it later. What's wrong?" Seulki looked at her leader and saw the worry in his eyes. She hated making them worry.
"I won't worry if you talk to me," Namjoon said quietly, as if reading her mind. She smiled at him with teary eyes and told him. "Hyungwon said we need to talk today. I never told him I sold my apartment. He found out when he went there the other day in hopes to find me. I don't even remember the last time we had a proper conversation. I've been so busy I haven't had a second to think about myself. I've been a shitty girlfriend. And I don't know what to do. I don't think I can fix this, Joon."
She buried her face in her hands, trying not to cry. Namjoon sighed, gently pulling her hands away from her face and gazing into her hazel orbs. "You've been busy lately, yeah. We've all mentioned that to you a few times. But you need to find balance, S. It can't always be all work, work, work. That's only gonna lead to work not being something you enjoy anymore." She nodded at him.
"You also need to think for yourself that if you're not planning on slowing down anytime soon, is a relationship going to work? You can love him and care for him, S. I know you do, but that love and care would mean letting him go. Not talking for months or weeks or you being too distracted to actually listen is not healthy or fair to him."
Seulki's bottom lip quivered. "We've been going nonstop for so long that I don't even remember what it's like to not be busy." Namjoon chuckled at her and nodded in agreement. "True. We've been running at full blast for a while now. But it's okay to take a break, to step back. Especially now. With the pandemic, we're not as busy and there's rarely traveling outside of the country. Use the extra free time we have in these moments for you. And him."
"W-what if he doesn't want to anymore?" She asked, chewing her bottom lip. Namjoon sighed and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You can't fault him and you need to be understanding. Understand where he's coming from and what he needs for him. And we'll all be here for you if it comes to that." She let out a shaky breath and got up, back hugging Namjoon. "Thanks, oppa." She murmured and he smiled, patting her arms around his neck. "Of course. Now, have you seen my phone? I've been looking everywhere for it and I can't seem to find it."
Seulki chuckled, rolling her eyes and pulling it out of her back pocket. "How late were you up last night?" Namjoon shrugged but just from the bags under his eyes Seulki knew it was late. "I found it in the fridge this morning." Namjoon was bewildered and Seulki only chuckled at him, pushing him gently back towards his room and telling him to sleep some more. She sat back down at the table, her thoughts racing. Everything Namjoon said was right.
She needed to figure out if she could slow down enough to have a proper relationship-as proper as any idol can. And if she couldn't, she needed to prepare herself to do what was best for Hyungwon. Even if that meant shattering her own heart.
