UNTOLD WOES

2

Chapter Two

When I was eleven and in JSS two, Ma went to a naming ceremony and didn't come back until past 9pm. Baba was so furious, I have never seen him that angry before. Ma kept pleading saying " there was a traffic and we couldn't get a tricycle on time because the area is remote" she explained with a repentant voice pleading for Baba to understand why she stayed out late.

The next day, I asked her the reason why Baba was so angry and she told me that it was a rule for her to be home before 5pm whenever she went out and it's unbecoming for a woman to stay out late because the world is a scary place and you never know what will happen after dark.

"Is that why you never allow me to visit my friends after asr?" I innocently inquired, trying to process what she said, etching it in my heart like all the other virtues they teach me.

"Yes Fatima, that is why and partly because I don't want you to be making unnecessary friends that will taint your upbringing" she said, handing me the clothes she removed from the line.

"Fold them neatly please, I know you can be lazy when you want to" she teased, knowing that I hate anything that has to do with washing or folding clothes.

"But Ma! You promised to be doing these things" I stomped my feet on the ground with a pout.

"Who then will wash your clothes for you when you get married or when I'm no longer here with you?" She raised a brow in question.

"Why are you always saying when I get married or when you're not with me? Do you think I will marry and leave you here ? Tabdijam! You go wherever I go. Besides I will not even consider marriage until I become a medical doctor" I fumed in anger as I always do whenever she brings that kind of topic up.

"Allahu yahdiki Bintu" she shook her head visibly amused that I still throw tantrums.

"In shaa Allah your dreams will come true my dear" she whispered not knowing that I heard her.

Baba came back later in the evening after Maghrib and we ate dinner together. He looked sad and bothered.

"What is wrong with you Baba?" I asked, holding his hands in mine.

"I'm just worried about your future Fatima, I don't want you to suffer or lack anything in life, I want to fulfill every wish that you have and give you the best of everything but am poor and I don't know if I am going to live long" He replied patting my head.

"Don't worry Baba, I will work hard, I will start selling things too and Ma will help out too and you're not going anywhere, you guys should stop insinuating that something bad is going to happen please" I pleaded with tears in my eyes.

"One can never tell what will happen in the future, every breath we take might be the last.  Besides, it's good to be having these kinds of thoughts so that you'll prepare for your aakhirah" he explained with a smile but I refused to listen, I kept on ranting about how we all are going to live long happy lives saying we will always be together every step of the way as if I have control over Allah's plans.

Life goes on, everything is normal except for the fact that my parents keep on bothering me with speeches that I can hardly comprehend, it's like they're leaving behind a wasiyyah, showing signs that there time in this world is almost up but I was too young, too naive and blinded to even notice.

Yusrah whom I'm still in contact with came to visit one day and we had so much fun. I can remember feeling a little bit ashamed that I can't even offer her a satchet water when she's used to drinking a bottled water but being a humble human she took the tap water I fetched from the earthenware pot with a smile telling me to please make wainar fulawa for her if I don't mind. How can I mind when she has been nothing but nice and caring to me? I collected money from Ma and went to a nearby shop to buy flour and palm oil.  We already have firewood, seasonings and onions so I went ahead to work telling her to pay attention so that she can make it herself whenever she feels like. She didn't leave until shortly before maghrib and I was so happy she stopped by.

Baba came back with a headache making us anxious with worry because I've never seen him that weak my entire life, I can even say that he has never complained of any ailment as far as I can remember. Ma went out to get a pain reliever for him while I stayed behind to feed him dinner. The headache persisted for a week.

"Baba please go to the hospital. I don't think this is normal " I pleaded.

"I'll be fine Bintu it's just stress" he persisted shaking his head with a smile. Ma and I kept pleading for a while but he didn't budge so we had to let him be. It escalated to a point where he can't even walk to the bathroom without Ma's help because of dizziness. I was worried sick about him, I kept praying that Allah grants him shifa and he'll at least agree to see a doctor so that we will know what is actually wrong with him and do the needful.

Baba is still sick after two months and he's still adamant about not going to the hospital, his elder brother and friends intervened but to no avail. One fateful morning, I woke up feeling anxious and scared, my heart was beating fast and my hands were shaking, it took a lot of will power for me to prepare for school. I was deep in thoughts throughout the day and too silent until my friends asked what's wrong but I had nothing to tell them because I myself didn't know.

During break, my heart gave out a loud boom the exact moment my whole world crumbled as a new page is opened, a page filled with so much pain and struggles.

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Hope ya'all good and in the best of Iman? May Allah ease our affairs, grant us taqwaa and forgive our sins. Amin❤️