𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 (𝘀𝗮𝘆 𝗶𝘁!) 》》 𝗽. 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗼𝗻

𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗉𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝗐𝗈

When Lucille Parkinson became pregnant, she only made one condition, something that surprised both her husband and her family: she agreed to name her baby after her father if it was a boy, but if it was a girl, Sebastian Parkinson had to accept that his firstborn had the name of a flower. And when the baby was born, Lucille observed large dark eyes, which little by little would acquire a strange shade of green, and knew in that instant that she was not before a sweet Lily, or a graceful Rose, but that her daughter would be someone like a Pansy.

And as it is often the case, a mother is always right. As she grew older, Pansy would not become the princess Parkinson they would have expected of her, like Daphne Greengrass and her younger sister, but would be a quiet, withdrawn, and often lost girl in her own world. She was often subjected to slaps that brought her back to reality, mistaking her calm for madness, her silence for a cold, calculating mind, something Pansy would come to have as well.

When she entered Hogwarts, she was obviously sorted in Slytherin, but things didn't change much. She still didn't look like Daphne, who was a pretty sight to look at and not much more, while Pansy was like broken glass; it cut everyone who approached it. Except for Draco, of course, because he was the boy she was supposed to feel more than friendship for if she wanted to find a good husband and a good family, and maybe Blaise too, but that was because the Zabini was even worse than she; the difference was that while Pansy announced her arrival from miles, Blaise was not seen coming.

Her adolescence had been a fucking roller coaster filled with darkness, cynical laughter, and Death Eaters all around her. As respected good purebloods, her parents looked forward to joining Lord Voldemort's ranks, and something similar was expected of her when she came of age. She had supplied the lack of affection from her family, her friends, the approval of the people around her with teasing, humiliation, insults and disrespect. It was the only way that people felt something for her: she preferred hatred to indifference, because she already knew it too much.

But when she was seventeen, she understood that her hate meter had overflowed: the magical war was over, many of the Death Eaters had escaped the scene, and those who had stayed now had to face everyone and accept the consequences. And of course Sebastian Parkinson had been too proud to run like Lucius Malfoy had. That resulted in his temporary confinement in Azkaban, pending trial. And now Pansy had lost her whole life for something they hadn't even achieved, for something she had expected to happen because her family was sure of it, and the one she hated now was herself.

The hatred she had received was now reflected in everyone else. In her father, for being a bastard who had sold her family from the beginning for nothing; in her mother, who had been cowardly enough to accept her father's convictions, despite the fact that Lucille had kept more on the sidelines; on Draco, for forcing her to think that this was all correct, that Voldemort would win the war and people like them would be the ones who would truly rule the wizarding world. A seventeen-year-old boy had managed to finish off the most powerful dark wizard of all time, was Pansy to believe that people were convinced that they would get their deepest wishes?

In those five years since, Pansy had felt nothing but resentment, hatred, and, she hated to admit, a huge emptiness as well. Everything that had given meaning to her pathetic life had now fallen apart, and she had stumbled upon a world even more unknown to her. Her family had lost all credibility, fame, and reputation. They were still part of the Sacred 28, but that no longer meant anything. They kept the manor, the jewels, the money in Gringotts, but Pansy had discovered the worst, that it no longer mattered to her.

Like since she was born, she was lost and completely alone.

Well, not alone, but Pansy didn't know if she preferred to be alone or in the company of her stiff mother, and that frightened her.