In this part I will be covering ages 9-13 years old.
When I was nine my nana and I moved into Barrington. An apartment complex in Moody, Alabama. Around this time my nana found out Otto was cheating on her. He moved out and got his own place in Leeds. He worked as a maintenance man there so his bills would be cheaper.
When I would visit and my nana come pick me up I would be telling her about the time I had there. Ofcourse i'd be like "My daddy and me..." so forth and so on. She would tell me not to call him that anymore... that he wasn't my dad anymore. Later I came to realize that reason was because of his affair. I don't believe that was fair to me at all. No matter what he did he was my Dad... you know? So I stopped calling him that, but he never stopped coming around. Even though I wasn't biologically his, me or Kane, we were his only kids. He always made sure I had what I needed.
When we moved I was so mad at my nana. She was just trying to get us out of the projects but to me I was leaving behind my life. Eventually i became okay with it, I don't believe I was ever happy with it.
We started fighting, sometimes bad. When I was ten, we got in a huge fight, I can't remember why, or what it was about however. She called the police to come take me to a girls home, but when they got there they suggested to take me to a mental hospital to get me evaluated. Why? You may ask? I got so angry, so overwhelmed that I went in my room and cut up my hands and knees. My nana didn't know of this until the police asked where the blood was coming from. She took their advice and drove me to the hospital, there we met my mom and waited for me to get admitted.
I stayed in the Children's hospital for two weeks before I was able to come home. Things i won't ever forget about there was the trip to botanical gardens, the sand art, the food, school. I can't say I didn't enjoy it there. The people seemed to actually care, it was only late at night when I would miss home and cry to see my family.
When I finally did get home, my mother was in and out of my nanas house. My nana had taken in my aunt Tomi and my uncle Chris during their own drug issues. She would find needles in the room they stayed in, she tried to keep it quiet...I don't think she knew I heard everything. I started to stay in my room and look forward to school. At school it was like I was a different person. However around 12 I started having behavioral issues.
The school called my nana one day to let her know I would have to go to alternative school for 30 days due to the reoccurring issues. This was the first time she was hearing of any kind of problem at school so she was shocked. In alternative school if it was your first time going you were allowed to ride the bus with the day program kids. The day program kids were either very problematic, or simply just missed too much school. It just so happened Kane was in the day program. I would get on the bus with my brother and ride to Ashville.
I did everything I was supposed to there so I wouldn't get extra days. Alternative school is a great way to get behind on school work though. Either teachers wouldn't send the work, or the alternative teachers would be late sending the work back. So when I went back to regular school I was very behind. My nana signed me up for gymnastics to help "motivate" give me a reason to do better. I was so in love with gymnastics everything else didn't really matter anymore.
Halfway through 7th grade I demanded to go live with my mother, stepdad, and two sisters. (She was clean from heroin at this point) And my nana agreed. I was in turmoil with my grades and my mom would be the one to stay on my ass to be honest.
In these years I put so much to the back of my head that there's some important details that I can't even remember, but i know they are there. It's like when you leave your house and forget something and you know you forgot something but you just keep on going. Call it a coping mechanism. If you forget it, it never happened.
