Hiro Hamada

Hiro Hamada oneshot

Hello there I'm Hiro, Hiro Hamada and this is the story of my life...

I'm 14, and I have a older brother who goes by the name of Tadashi Hamada, and we live with my Aunt Cas. The only interesting part of my life started when I was about 12 maybe 13, so barely 2 years ago. It started when my brother was trying to get me into his "nerd school" and I got in, but when we were leaving the building was in flames, and the professor of the school, Professor Callehan, he was stuck in the building and Tadashi went in and saved him, both had a few burns and bruises but they were alive, I was happy at first, but after that it was Tadashi this, Tadashi that, I began to become unnoticed....and that's where my story starts

It started a few days after the burning building incident, it was all good the days directly after that, but then the days passed and it was the 5th day after it had happen, the news about this had spread, and Tadashi had become famous. I was happy for him and joyed that he got so much recognition, but then it all went down hill...I was no longer noticed, I was the kid who would always be sitting out on my own during family events or occasions, nobody cared about me they cared about Tadashi, because he was "famous" so I was just a person that meant nothing and was just there....and that's not the worst of it, not only was it my family that I didn't live with but it was also Aunt Cas and Tadashi, I should have known this was gonna happen eventually. But, instead of putting up with it all the time, I went and gathered some high tech and high quality building materials and basic living needs. I started to build a "house" aka a large and detailed tree house, hidden behind the trees so I can be alone. I finished it within about 5 days, it was larger than I had expected. Inside there was a bathroom, a bedroom, a small kitchen, a full size bed, and all my robot tech and art stuff along with school stuff, and a workshop for me to do my constructing and all that. Nobody realized I was even gone. Every night I would sit on the roof of my "house" and lie there looking up at the stars and thinking what would happen if I jumped, I ended everything, clearly I would just be giving up so easily, but I really didn't feel like I belonged in this world anymore. At school I would go to my office area and do my work along, or with my best friend, her name was Bailey, she was beautiful. She had long wavy dark brown hair with light brown highlights, he eyes were a sparkling amber color, and she always wore these casual dresses that made her beauty stand out even more, and she always wore a beanie the coordinated with her outfit, and every other day after school she would come over and we would do our homework and then chill and listen to music and hang out and talk and be idiots, I loved her not in a weird way like a friend way and I couldn't picture myself with her not being by my side, before I met her I would have never pictured my life incomplete without her, my best friend, my partner in crime. Though I've only known her for a couple years, I fell like I can trust her with anything, well except one thing, my whole depression and all that, I hate lying to her about it, but I have to, if I told her it wouldn't be so good, I don't wanna put more stress on her. All the times when she wasn't over I was alone in my house or whatever doing art or architecture. I hated being alone, it was always terrifying for me, I didn't have anything or anyone to keep me distracted, and that's when it started. I was suffering with severe depression because of everything that was going on, and my first thought was how can I bring physical pain to myself to distract me from the mental pain I'm going through. I always have a hidden stash of knives and razors, along with a knife sharpener, I went and grabbed a razor and I put it against my skin and as the tears from my face were dripping onto my arm, I dragged the blade across my wrist leaving a bleeding red line, and I did it over and over until my whole forearm was covered with bleeding red lines, I've never let them heal, because before I let them heal it happens all over again, bringing more and more pain to myself, it doesn't help, it's just a distraction, not a good one, but it is something to take my mind off of what is going on in my head though I know that "I'm forced to deal with what I feel, there is no distraction to mask real" and I just focused on the bleeding lines that remind me of other times. What makes it worse is every time is having to hide it at school and from my best friend, sometimes I use a gauze wrap or I just wear a jacket all day that fully covers my arms. Many nights I look up to the stars and then look down at the ground to see how hard the landing would be when I jump, and if I did nobody would notice, my body would just sit there in silence, but it wouldn't be any different from my everyday life, my soul just sits inside my lifeless body, I'm just a vessel for some soul that decided to jump into my body and torture me.

As I've said I would never picture my life without my best friend Bailey, I literally mean it. One night I didn't realize she was over at all, I was on the roof of my treehouse staring up at the stars trying to determine different constellations, and I heard a voice but I just thought I was hearing things, so I looked to the sky and then to the ground and I jumped, and I thought I landed and I was dead, but I wasn't, I was in the arms of my best friend, I started to cry and so did she, and that's when everything was visible, the cuts, burn marks, and whatever else went along with that. It was awful she saw the side of me that I didn't want her to see, but she didn't get mad or anything, she just held onto me and cried on me, I felt extremely terrible, I really did just wanna die more than anything, but most of all I felt loved and cared for, though it was only one person that made me feel this way, it was better than nothing, and it was the best feeling in the world to have someone out there who wants me alive, and that's something to live for. So after that we sat down in the kitchen of my little house and I told her everything, and you know she didn't seem to mind, she cared a whole lot, but she understood me, she sat next to me and showed me a note she was gonna give to me, I read it and it was the nicest and most caring things anyone has ever done for me, I would tell you what it said, but I don't think I could rewrite it without crying. I love her so much, just as a friend though, she is one of the best things that could ever happen to me. Actually now that I think about it, I might love her more than as a friend, I might actually love love her, actually I think I do, I can't tell her though because I don't want things to become awkward, and I'm not sure if she loves me back, I get the feeling she does, but it might just be a nice gesture. Now back to my story... A few months after that I was ok, still depressed and sometimes had suicidal thoughts, but I didn't take action, I'm kinda glad I didn't, for the most part. Bailey would come over often, and we would listen to music, we both loved Twenty One Pilots, so we would put that on. I think they are my all time favorite because the song lyrics are relatable and they have helped me a lot during this time of my life, but other than that we would chill out, play video games, listen to music, be idiots, and watch Netflix, along with eating stuff and whatever else, it was fun, though sometimes we ran out stuff to talk about so we would just sit in silence until one of us busted up laughing or did something stupid, which usually happened pretty quick.

I was good for months, but then it all happened so fast my brother got re-recognized for saving a mans life and his face was on the cover of more magazines and articles about him were in more newspapers. What I got out of it all was absolutely nothing, well unless more offensive and mean and hurtful comments, then yea I got a lot out of it. My condition had gotten worse, not only was I a mutant kid fused at the wrists, I felt hopeless and lost not even my best friend that I loved could make me feel better about myself, nobody really could cheer me up, I just put on a fake smile while at school and fake being happy and cheery, it was hard, but I did it, somehow. When Bailey would come over after school we would do what we always did, but it would be more quiet, but I loved having her over.

One night I was alone on the roof and Twenty One Pilots was playing off my phone, it was just shuffling through the album Vessel it was my favorite besides Regional At Best, which unfortunately they don't sell on iTunes. I was singing along and all of the sudden I thought about suicide, and I acted too, I went inside and I grabbed the loaded gun I always kept near my kitchen sink in one of the cabinets and I grabbed it and pointed it towards my head, but I stopped myself when I heard "The solution is I see a whole room of these mutant kids, fused at the wrists I simply tell them they should shoot at this, simply suggest my chest and this confused music, it's obviously best for them to turn their guns to a fist" and that's when I realized, ending this is just as much help as continuing my life, so I dropped the gun and fell to the floor crying and all I could think about was my pain, both physical and emotional, and the only thing that popped into my brain was the words/lyrics "Sometime to stay alive you gotta kill your mind" and I blanked out completely and before I passed out the song lyrics coming out of my phone were saying "you should take my life you should take my soul" and that's all I remember. Ever since that moment I've been completely clueless of everything. Yes I still have severe depression, but I've learned to handle it, no more suicide attempts or thoughts, just occasionally self harm, but Bailey and I are still best friends, and Tadashi is still famous, but what's new with that. Well thanks for listening and well have a nice life...