The Dangerous Elysium

15

I'm getting rid of all my clothes I don't wear
I think I'm gonna cut my hair
'Cause these days, I don't feel like me, mm
I think I'm gonna take a break from alcohol
Probably won't last that long
But Lord knows I could use some sleep, mm
Changes
They might drive you half insane but
It's killing you to stay the same but
It's all gonna work out
It's all gonna work out someday

Song 🎵: Changes by Lauv

" Hey , I was planning on booking the tickets to Moscow . And umm you said that you wanted to accompany me . So should I book for you too ? I mean only if you want to go . There's no pressure or something ." I pathetically stuttered , trying not to look in his eyes . So that he won't know what really want .

" You do realise we can take my private jet . right .", he said with his eyebrows. " Nope , you are going with me so we are doing it my ways which means I'm going to book a hotel and a flight and then we will split the bill .", I said to him with full finality in my voice .

"But-", he started . "Nope , not gonna happen .", I said and grabbed my things from my locker . I made my way towards my first class of English . He followed me stepping once at his locker and making his way towards his first class , Physics.

I sat in the English class thinking about what happened one week ago .
Did I really made the correct decision by still staying in contact with Everett ?
What if something happens to me and he isn't there this time ?
Was is it too soon to trust him ?

I still have so many questions and so many doubts . I know Everett has almost saved my life once before but it also means that I'm going to be in danger more often . Being associated with any of these rich families kids make is prone to "accidents".

I zoned out and stared outside window . The classroom was on the third floor . You could almost see the whole town from here . It was quite cold outside , everyone had now started wearing blazers including me .

I looked at the sky , it was a little bit cloudy but the sun was out clear too . It was a perfect and 'sit outside and enjoy the sun while you can' kinda day .

Christmas was coming up soon . I haven't celebrated it for so long . Christmas has always been so special to me . I don't understand if it's just the grief or maybe because I can't just bring myself to celebrate Christmas with someone else other my own family , my own parents .

Everett was being kind , he invited me to celebrate Christmas with his family but  I know I'm gonna to have to decline it . I cannot even imagine myself celebrating this festival with his family . It somehow feels so wrong . Like I'm going to forget all the Christmases I have celebrated with my parents , if I celebrate it someone else .

However , I'm glad he is going to Moscow with me . I won't admit it , but I have always needed someone who can understand what I'm feeling on such days . Maybe I can show him a part of my deranged and strange world .

Well , my birthday is also on its way . Two days right after Christmas. There were years when I didn't celebrate my birthday  . But ever since I have met Alisha , she has made it her mission to celebrate by birthday and shower me with gifts and all the love .

She's been very kind to me . She's brought me back from dark places while I just wanted to crawl in deeper and deeper .

I snap my attention back to my teacher and the board trying to keep up with the Great Gatsby .

*******

" The perks of being of a wallflower .", I said . " why is that your favourite book ?", asked Kim .
" Well it tells you the real feeling of losing someone and how you deal with the grief years later . Plus it tells how shitty high school is .", I shrugged . Kim made a face and scrunched her nose moving onto Kara to ask her favourite movie .

" Do you ever wanna do that ?", Everett asked . " Do what ?" , I asked . " The whole tunnel thing from the movie", he said with a sneaky smile on his face . " Are you thinking what I am thinking ?", I grinned at him . He shrugged and said , " meet outside at 8."

*****

" Why aren't you wearing a dress like Emma Watson", he said as I walked out of the building . I looked at my jacket and blue pants . " I don't wanna flash anyone .", I exclaimed .

That's when I saw it . There a black pick up truck standing by the parking lot . " Why do you own a pick up truck ?", I asked rushing towards him . " I don't , I hired it for today .", he said jingling the keys in my face .

I was definitely shocked and even more impressed. " let's go", he said as he opened up the door for me . I quickly sat in and he rushed to other side . " I hope you know tunnels around here and please try not to get us killed .", I said with humour.

His face became somber and he glared at me . " ok too soon .noted", I raised my hands defensively. " Also I found the song they were listening to in book .", I said taking out a CD . It took hours of research to get my hands on that one . " In the movie ." , he said . " in the book . Books are always better .", I exclaimed . " Even game of thrones .", he exclaimed . " yes even game of thrones . Don't be a snob .", I said at him and he just chuckled .

" Well here we are my lady . Tunnel starts here , you might wanna start the song and get in the back .", he said driving a little slow while I played the song .

I kissed his cheek and climbed on to the back and stood up , raising my hands in the air . I closed my eyes felt the air on my whole body . My heartbeat was raising as I felt lump in my throat . I was thinking of nothing , for first time there was nothing in my mind . But my heart wasn't empty or hollow .

I was free .

Everett increased the speed and the volume as he screamed the lyrics. I screamed out loud as we crossed the tunnel on to the highway .

And like Charlie said in that moment I swear we were infinite.

Phewwwwwww
I'm back bitches

A small filler chapter before we go to Moscow. Ps I love that book .