Temptation

Chapter 43

One Year Later...

It had been just over a year since my sentence and life behind bars was as awful as I ever imagined it to be, the poor quality sheets and the coldness of the cells were now the least of my problems.

Upon sentencing I had been sent to a much darker and dangerous prison. Surrounded by men who had committed the most awful and heinous crimes imaginable which struck me hardest was the fact that hardly any of them showed any signs of remorse for their crimes and were proud of.

Needless to say I wasn't fitting in and couldn't see how someone like me could survive in here.

My mental health was deteriorating rapidly, I was on medication for anxiety and depression. I could sense myself slipping into a life of addiction to prescription drugs. I had found myself selling my commissary for pills and other prisoners medication. My orders were becoming more and more regular and the drugs were slowly becoming stronger.

I knew and I was fully aware that I was on a slippery slope but I couldn't find the need or want to stop myself. It felt good when I was out of it, it took the pain away and the thoughts that were swimming around my head would subside for a length of time, it was the only time I felt free and as weird as it sounds, I felt normal.

The pill popping began not long after I was served with the divorce papers from Emma, three months previously. I decided to grant her wish as there was no point fighting, she could move on with her life now. I had no more hate in me and as long as she continued to provide a good life for Izzy and Zack, I was in no position to deny them the life they deserve. I just hoped and prayed each night that they would grown up without being poisoned by their new step father and step sister.

I had nothing to live for any more. I had nothing left in me to give. I was better off in here as I can distance myself from the pain without having to physically see the children with those evil bastards.

"LETTERS!"

It was Thursday, our weekly post day. In the 52 Thursdays I had been locked up for the only time I had receuevd anything from the outside world was to be served the divorce papers from Emma and that came with a supervised visit from a prisoner officer and lawyer to make sure I completed it correctly.

Other than that, my name had never been called.

"Romano! You have a letter!"

"What?!" I replied, walking towards the guard who had a letter from me I hand.

The whole cell block cheered sarcastically. I found that quite endearing even though they were clearly mocking me. It did cross my mind that this could put a target on my back now, people will try and make advances as they now had an open invitation to start conversation and have some common ground with me.

Crazy how your mind works in here isn't it? Like on the outside, the postman posts your letters and you think nothing of it, yet in here it has put me into panic mode and instantly on the defence.

I accepted the envelope and headed straight to my bunk, holding it tight and away from prying eyes.

I scanned over the envelope but the handwriting didn't seem familiar to me. I may have been locked away for over a year but I always had a thing for knowing peoples handwriting but this was a new one on me.

I opened the envelope with precision, not wanting to ruin the envelope, that was another one of my weird traits that I can't imagine anyone else in this cell shared as common practice. I imagine 99% of the guys in here ripped open the envelope with their teeth.

As I pulled the folded paper free, a photograph drifted slowly to the floor, the surprise of the extra content which now lay face down on the concrete floor made my heart jump like someone had just walked up behind me.

For a moment, I forgot about the photograph as I opened up the letter.

Dear Joe,

I hope you are safe and well and that prison hasn't been too harsh on you. I know you didn't deserve this, you were just the poor guy who had to take the wrap. You were too easy to manipulate. You made this much easier than we originally thought.

That said, over a year on and the realisation of the pain and anguish we have put you through has left a sour taste in my mouth and I'm writing to you to apologise for being the main part of the hurt you are no doubt still feeling.

I doubt you will ever but I hope on reading this letter you can find it in your heart to forgive me and accept my apology as it genuinely does come from the bottom of my heart. If you can't find it in your heart to forgive me today upon reading this, then I'll pray every day until the day comes when you can find the time to forgive me.

I'm also writing to say the money ransom was not for us and was never part of the original plan, Lyn and I had found out news just prior to the demand of money. My Dad had already decided that the evidence was going to the police but we needed the money and as by this point with the enclosed picture you have figured out why we needed the money.

That's your daughter, Joe. Meet your little girl, Francesca. I think she looks like you, she has your eyes. Don't you think?

Lyn and I are raising her as our own and believe me she is in more than capable hands. I found out I was pregnant a week after our trip to New York. I hadn't missed a period by that point but as we were not using anything, I had to check and you could imagine my surprise when it came back pregnant, I'm sure?

Anyway, nobody other than Lyn and I know it is your baby. Emma and Dad think she is Kevin's and I promise to keep it that way. It wouldn't be fair on Zack and Izzy.

Please don't hate Francesca, she's your little girl and always will be. I will continue to send photographs through as she grows up so you can follow her journey.

I hope you can find a place in your heart to respond to this eventually.

Take Care, Joe and again, I'm sorry.

Love,
Angelica and Francesca

I picked up the photograph, turning it around and instantly fell in love with the precious baby girl looking back at me.

She had a gorgeous head full of brown hair, her eyes were huge but so cute and adorable, they really were just like mine.

How could something so beautiful come from something so twisted and hurtful?

This was the pick me up I needed, I placed a kiss on the photograph and at that moment my courage and want to get out of here one day even greater.

"Daddy will see you soon, Francesca. I promise."

Kissing the photo one last time before clutching it close to my chest.

I will make it out of here.

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The End

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