Absolute Destiny (Book 5) (girlxgirl)

Finding Fault

I can't do this anymore. I just can't.

Sitting next to Pike as he sleeps, I squeeze his hand just to feel him respond and know he's still there. That he's still alive.

I've lost so much and I can't keep going like this. As bad as I thought things were when I was in denial after I killed Finch and finally came to terms with it, this is so much worse. Not only did I drive the woman I love to hate everything and everyone around her. Not only did that make her try to remake the world to turn us all into her little playthings. Not only did her doing all that force me to kill her instead of finding a way to save her. But worse, in order to survive it, I've driven a guy I actually like to the point that he's nearly dead and might not get any better.

As much as I want him to survive, and not to have done all those things, I did it. It's just too much and I can't live with it anymore. I've caused so much destruction and created so much suffering that I can't go on like this. This is all my fault.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and just as I'm about to turn and smile at them, I hear their voice.

"It's not your fault."

It makes me tense up.

"I know you want to blame yourself, but it's not your fault."

I shrug my shoulders to get her to pull them away and she does. When I hear her stand back a bit, I turn to her with an angry look.

"How the hell would you know?"

"Because I've been watching, and because of what I know."

"These answers you keep talking about."

"That's the one."

"Then who's fault is it? Let me guess, Dawn's?"

"Well she is the one who merged both of them. Although in the larger sense, even Dawn's not responsible."

What's this talking about?

"In the larger sense? What's that?"

It doesn't respond right away.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Would I ask if I didn't?"

Again it takes a second before answering.

"Remember, I only promise answers. I can't promise you'll like it."

Seriously?

"Just tell me already."

"Dawn's path was set in motion a while ago, or at least it's a while ago depending on how you look at it. A decision was made that altered the course of her life, and everyone else's too."

"So, what? We're all just pawns of whoever made this decision?"

"No, free will is still a thing. You all made decisions for yourselves. It's just that things were supposed to play out a certain way, and they didn't because of the decision they made."

They?

"And who are 'they', exactly?"

It turns as someone comes in the door.

"It was her."

B gets this confused look on her face.

"What was me?"

What did B do?

"B made a decision?"

There's even more confusion on my friend's face.