𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭

chapter 14

It would seem that Yates Yasir Abdi was always one step ahead of you.

At first- the freedom was glorious. With the squashed up hundred dollar bills in your purse, you were able to get a taxi to the neighboring state, where your friend lived. She had moved there a couple of years ago and had a spare bedroom which she kindly loaned out to you. And yet, you felt out of place. Like an indoor cat taking its first few tentative and overwhelming steps outside. I mean, what did you even know? You grew up in buttfuck North Carolina, and then were whisked away by a too good to be true boyfriend. And then it all came shattering down; all of his promises, his sugary words, the ghosts of his kisses, and the way he would hold you at night and you would feel so completely and utterly safe.

Maybe you were a fool, but at least you were a pampered fool.

"You want one?" Estelle asked, pointing to her cigarette.

You shook your head, squinting. "Those are bad for you. And the environment."

Estelle simply shrugged. "Guilty pleasure." She was a tall ginger with wide eyes and perpetually flushed cheeks, one of those girls who only eco-friendly soap and wore viking braids in their hair daily. Estelle kicked her palazzo-clad legs up onto the balcony of her apartment, taking a drag on her cigarette. "You haven't even touched that salad, besides." The two of you had met in high school when her parents had moved her back to NC. They were those hippie liberals who ate too many tuna sandwiches at your mom's cafe and tried to open a crystal shop in the middle of downtown. You and Estelle had hit it off pretty quick, but eventually separated ways when you graduated. Still, you kept in touch and holy hell, now you were incredibly glad for your socializing finesse.

"Oh. Right." You speared a wilted leaf of lettuce with your fork, shoving it into your mouth. "Thanks for the place, Estelle," you muttered, taking in another breath. "Sorry for the short notice."

"No problem, baby. It's not a problem, besides, I think the cats like you."

You snicked, gingerly touching the ribboned scar decorating your palm. "I don't think this can really be defined as Suede 'liking' me, Es."

"She tried to strangle me in my sleep the first week and you have a singular scratch in comparison. Looks like a win to me," Estelle said, giving you a wink. "Now eat up. We need to catch up, yeah? I can get us some wine- it's like, ten dollar costco wine though."

A little more energetic, you took another bite, nodding. "Sounds great. Who am I to turn down costco wine? You know me."

Estelle gave you a grin, shaking her head. "Nothing. Just wanted to make sure the big-shot girlfriend of Yates Abdi was alright with my meager offerings."

"Ex girlfriend."

Estelle only widened her eyes. "Ex girlfriend. Okay. Good! You seem like you'll need a little extra pinot noir then."

You gave her a tentative grin, watching her go back into the cramped kitchen and fish through her cabinets for a bottle. The salad tasted like dust in your mouth, but you eventually scraped the bowl clean, licking dressing off of the fork.

It was late in the afternoon as you reached Estelle's apartment, showing up with nothing but your phone and a measly twenty dollars, your hair all staticy. The makeup smeared across your face told a separate story all on its own, and compiled with your puffy eye bags and the fact that you were walking up to her door barefoot, she let you in without a word. Now, you were dressed in her pajamas, washed up, and absolutely lost on what to do next. The sky looked vast, too big, especially from her third story view. All you could see was the stars scattered across the sky like shattered glass. And all you could remember was Yates's arm around you from that one night when you went stargazing and he told you how your eyes reminded him of galaxies.