Sinigang
After that incident, papa got colder and colder. He ignored my presence in our house and act like he did not see me. I am trying so hard to talk to him but he just can't let a second pass to see me nor talk to me. While papa ignores me, I can see that mama is trying to convince papa to stop ignoring me.
"Paeng, ano ba! Anak natin yun, wag mo namang ignorahin na parang hindi mo kilala o nakikita" mama said to papa while they are on there way to their room. After that I heard papa shouting to mama. Never in my life I saw them shouting in their own throat together. I Always see them calm when it calm to misunderstanding.
I am preparing our breakfast when they went out to their room. I prepared all the food that papa's suite for his liking especially sinigang because it's his most favorite.
"Sino ba ang nagkamali?!..." Papa shouted upon opening their door's room.
"Simple lang naman yung gusto ko! Ano ba ang mahirap duon sa HINDI PA PWEDING MAGKAROON NG RELASYON HANGGAT NAG AARAL PA! HA BELENG?!"
"Saan ba ako nag kulang?" Then papa turned his back to me.
" Sa pera ba? Binigay ko naman lahat ng gusto mo..."
"Pagmamahal?..."
I am lost of words. I wanted to answer all his questions but I cannot find a right words to explain my thoughts. All I did is to cry and cry. I tried to open my mouth expecting that I can somehow explain to him my side but I just couldn't open it.
We are just staring into each other's eyes hoping that through my eyes he can understand me. But he didn't.
Ano nga ba yung pinaglalaban ko. Ano nga ba yung mga salitang gusto kung iparinig at ipaintindi sa kanya. Gustong gusto kung sabihin na hindi siya nag kulang, na wala siyang kasalanan. Ngunit ano ba ang magagawa ng paliwanag kung hindi naman maiintindihan o intindihin.
Pagkatapos ng nangyari sa hapag, umalis si papa. I can only stare to the food I prepared for him. Mama joined me to eat but all my thoughts are everywhere.
"Magaling ka ng magluto ally" mama smiled. Hindi kona nasundan pa ang mga sinasabi niya sapagkat tulala nalang ako nangyari kanina.
"Nakikinig kaba sa akin ally?" My snapped me to my reverie.
" P-po?" I innocently asked to mama. Mama smiled and held my hands.
" How are you anak?" After seeing mama's face and how worried she was for me. I lose it! I cried in front of her. She embrace me with her tight hug.
"Hayaan mo muna yung papa mong magpalamig sa kaniyang ulo, maiintindihan ka rin non" Mama assuring me with her words towards papa is making me cry more.
"M-ma paano naman ako?" I said it between my sobs.
"Paano ko naman ipaiintindi sa kaniya kung hindi naman siya makikinig. Hindi pa naman ako magpapakasal ma. Alam ko naman po ang tama at mali " I cried more.
" Bata kapa kase, maraming kapang hindi alam" mama said while tapping my head and kissing my forehead.
Siguro nga marami pa akong hindi alam. Ngunit paano ako matututo kung hindi nila ako hahayaang matuto mag isa.
