its not like tommys upset that steve harringtons going out with hawkins high schools pretty girl. definitely not, why would he be?
its not like hes been in love with him since the fifth grade, not like hes been trying to get with him since forever. hes not upset, not in love. nothing like that.
he likes nancy, thinks shes good for steve. wants to, anyways, wants to believe she deserves him more than he does, but he cant. he cant bring himself to, cant bring himself to think anything other than steve steve steve mine mine mine and its fucking disgusting, he knows that.
he doesnt want to know it but he does. its sad.
tommys definitely not upset when steve and nancy break up and immediately steves wrapped around billy, sobbing into his shirt. tommy fucks carol that night, even though theyve been over for quite some time. makes him feel better, he forces himself to think.
hes not upset when steve and billy start going out, not upset when hes invited to things like parties and drinking sessions, not upset when he somehow winds up on all fours, fucked from behind by billy while steve fucks his throat, petting his hair and face and telling him how good he is in between kisses with billy.
he doesnt mind it, actually, but he hates that he has to share. that he has to pretend to not care or that hes not in love or that hes not hurt hurt or that he doesnt hate billy.
he hates him, hates how fucking stuck up and dumb he is, how he treats steve like shit no matter what.
hes not upset when they break up, when tommy finds himself wrapping steve up in a jacket and holding him tight and promising him that itll be okay when he know it wont because steve doesnt love him. he loves nancy, billy, anyone but him but thats okay! thats okay, he says, and sucks it up.
its better that way.
