•four seasons //johnmark//

•autumn

"Ten ice bags!" Doyoung yelled as the group made their way into the training room. "Lewis will kill you if there's air in any of them!"

"How about you help then, loser," Donghyuck called.

"No can do, Taeyong is waiting," Doyoung said. "Love you guys!"

"Love you too," Mark followed, rolling his eyes as Donghyuck handed him an ice bag.

This was the routine. Mark, Johnny, Taeil, and Donghyuck would make ice bags while the others scattered about. It bothered Mark somewhat, but he knows it works better for the group. The four of them get things done quickly anyways.

"Last one," Taeil announced, dropping the final icebag into a cooler.

Donghyuck hummed, "That's a record, we're done before Jaehyun gets in here."

Taeil laughed, "Can you blame him for being clingy? I bet Jungwoo rubbed off on him."

Mark let the two continue their conversation, deciding to find Johnny instead. Mark never had to look long because Johnny was only ever in two areas. First was the laundry room, he's usually the first to do it anyways. It was separate from everyone, so sometimes it's used for people to get away. The second was on the field with Lewis. Being the favorite had its perks, going everywhere was one of them. Johnny was basically coach Lewis's right-hand man. Mark didn't mind, but the others seemed to.

Today, he was in the laundry room. There he stood with his sleeves of the flannel he was wearing rolled up to his elbows. The black and white of it paired well with the simple black jeans he was wearing. Mark could deny it all he wanted, but deep down, he knew Johnny was utterly gorgeous. His skin was golden, almost like Donghyuck's. His eyes were caramel brown, slightly glowing whenever the sun reflected off of them. When the brown of his eyes turned into gold, Mark's breath would simply disappear. As time went on, Mark began to notice the little things about Johnny. Like the way his eyes brighten at the mention of Ten, or just the way his smile widened while he talked about things he loved. Johnny was always so upbeat and able to make everyone laugh no matter the situation. He had this aura to him that made him so likable.

Mark wasn't prone to it either.

"Mark," Johnny said with a slight noise of surprise in his voice. "I didn't even see you come in."

"Ouch," Mark laughed. "We just finished ice bags. Need anything else before I head to class?"

Johnny shook his head, "Nope, you do enough. I'll make Jaemin do it."

Mark hummed, "Good plan. I'll see you later then."

Johnny nodded, running over to open the door for Mark. If Johnny had any faults, Mark didn't know about them. Johnny seemed perfect in every way. It wasn't fair.

"Johnny!" A voice called from down the hall.

Mark knew the voice belonged to Ten. The smile that crossed Johnny's face confirmed it. Just like that, Johnny was gone. In seconds, he was already meeting Ten in the middle to pull him into a hug. Mark watched as Ten practically melted in Johnny's arms. It was almost like they hadn't seen each other in years.

However, they were cute. Mark could give them that. Johnny always did the sweetest things for Ten. Little things like looking out for him and giving him picky back rides whenever he wasn't feeling well. Ten seemed like the happiest guy in the world next the Johnny. His lovesick eyes were practically his go-to and Johnny always fell for them. It almost made Mark sick.

Laughing to himself, Mark let the couple be and went inside to grab Donghyuck and Taeil for his next class.

-

Our minds make up unrealistic personalities of the people we love. We see past all their flaws and make ourselves see the better in them. They could hurt us to the core but when we're picked back up, our hearts long for them. It's a curse that our mind is hooked too.

Mark wished his professor would just stop talking. His mind was already tired from his calculus class earlier that day. Every wise word his professor said would ricochet off of his brain. It refused to process anything else. Mark could care less about Philosophy. It didn't matter what wise words these random people would say. Mark knew none of it even mattered.

Class finally ended and Mark was in a hurry to leave. He slung his backpack over his right shoulder and walked out before the teacher could hold him back. Mark sighed, leaning against his locker. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically. All he wanted was to lay in bed and ignore his existence until daylight came.

Unfortunately, a call rang through.

-

"Dad, is everything okay?" Mark asked, closing the door to his door lightly.

Donghyuck wasn't home yet. Mark guesses he finally convinced Taeil into going on a date with him. Just the thought of it made Mark happy. Donghyuck deserved this. He deserved Taeil. If there was one thing Mark wanted in the world, it was Donghyuck's happiness. Hopefully, Taeil can give him that.

"Mark, your brother called," His dad answered, his voice rough almost like he'd been asleep.

Mark's heart sank. The only reason Renjun ever called was if something went bad.

"Is he okay?" Mark asked frantically.

"He's all good, Mark. He just had a slight health scare. His friend took care of it though. He flew in last night, he's home."

"He's back in Colorado?" Mark asked shocked.

Renjun always swore that he'd never go back to Colorado, no matter the circumstances. What if this was serious? Mark could move past his grudges for his brother's sake.

"Do I need to head home?"

"We've got it. Come home over winter break though. Your mother misses you.

Funny, that's not what she said two years ago.

"I'll think about it. Tell Renjun I miss him.

Mark didn't give his dad a chance to answer before hanging. He tossed his phone onto his bed, resorting to the bathroom to get ready for bed. The cold water hit his skin like a glass window shattering. His heart seemed to ache with the feeling. He wasn't sure what to do. Mark's heart insisted that he go to Colorado on the quickest flight. But, there was also the logical part of him that realized his pain and how unwanted he felt whenever he was kicked out two years prior.

When do you know if you should follow your head or your heart? Mark didn't know, he wasn't very good at dealing with his feelings. It was why they got so bad in the first place. Mark's head felt like it was spinning, rapid thoughts spiraling in his head repeatedly. Mark felt himself start to feel weak, his feet starting to lose their footing. He fell onto his bed, his eyes transfixed on the ceiling.

He'll figure it out later, just not right now.