Those Weekends In New England

Chapter Eleven

Ah, the expense of duplicity. There isn't enough money in the world to make it worthwhile.

Denny wiped his brow with the ever-present rehearsal towel around his neck. After Boston, there had been a few smaller stops before they arrived in New Haven, Connecticut. Now, some three or four stops after that, they were in beautiful, downtown Passaic, New Jersey, to appear at Memorial Auditorium at Montclair University. Denny liked to play educational venues. As always, the tour was one city after the other, after the other. One airport ran into the next. Life on the road was so boring, so day in-day out.

He sat in an empty chair off to the side of the rest of the group, glad, at least for this brief moment, to keep his own company. He'd been forced to take a breather. He knew his performances were lacking; aware how much his "pump level," as Al called it, was off. Right now, he felt as if there was nothing he could do about his lackluster efforts.

He was much too worried about Hannah. As she had promised, he had not heard from her again. Denny called Georgi every week, looking for a change, some kind of emotion out of Hannah, some bit of detail to hang his hat on, to help him understand what had happened between them. Or more accurately, what had happened between her and Peter.

He got no answers. Georgi was no help; she knew less than he did. She was polite and friendly, but Hannah had closed herself off from even her best friend. This, beyond all else, was the scariest signal that something had gone horribly wrong in Hannah's world. Georgi and Hannah shared everything. He knew, from what both Hannah and Georgi had told him, they'd been like sisters since their earliest school days.

So what could he do? He continued with life as he had before he met Hannah. He went on with his tour and put up with the cloying fans, more than aware they didn't even notice if his work wasn't up to par. They didn't seem to care much about that. They just wanted a piece of him, whether he performed well or not.

His mind roamed ahead to the next concert city on tour. He would return home to play Radio City Music Hall. This managed to spark a little interest in him. He was eager to once again see his mother, his grandmother, and his uncle. They'd not had a chance to visit together for quite awhile. He'd also see Elaine for the first time since they'd fallen into bed with each other after their separation.

This was a problem. Here was something he needed to think through carefully. He wanted no mixed signals with Elaine this time. He wanted out of their relationship, and he was at a point where he could care less how she might handle this emotionally. Her mental condition be damned. He had been forced to let go of Hannah and somehow this loss made it seem much easier to completely erase Elaine from his life. This time, he really did not care.

A period of physical and psychological celibacy would do him good.

"I'm pissed! I'm friggin' frustrated. I'm ready to wrap this tour in a rubber, take it to the man, and tell him where he can shove the whole damn thing."

"Vern, settle down. You know Denny's having a hard time. Cut him a break."

"I'm tired of cutting him breaks, Bradley. I've had enough of his shit. Either he shapes up, or he's lost a drummer. I know we've been together since the beginning, but I can't any longer be bothered with his world of personal problems. He's been a professional long enough, and he should know how to turn his problems off."

"Can you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Can you turn your emotions on and off easily? Are you a machine?" In the middle of his morning exercise routine the next day, Bradley stopped his sit-ups and stared hard at his friend.