IT FEELS BAD BUT IT AIN'T HELL

Hell is a word I use to describe my life. I myself do not like pain or anything bad to happen. I have problems like every human on earth I'm guessing but I just feel like my problems are a lot and I'm not saying I have a lot of problems but I have a fair amount of problems and to me they're bad.

I guess I haven't had the best of luck with making friends or getting a girlfriend or any of that stuff like you know normal high school problems.

But 1 thing that can just destroy anybody is having your heart crushed.

Let's say you found the perfect person that you care about with all your heart and you do anything for them. At this point your life will seem perfect and nothing could go wrong but then something does happen, and they break your heart.

You feel like you can't be around them anymore. Hard to look at them no matter how much you love them you start to think that they will never love you again. And in a few months later you see them with a new boyfriend / girlfriend and you see them together as if you were with them and it breaks your heart to see that they're happy as you two were when you were together and it's devastating and it feels horrible and no amount of antidepressants can get rid of that pain. Pain of heartbreak is the worst in the world and I've been through a lot I've been hit by a car, I've had my skull broken open ,the skin melted off my arm, and I've even had my thumb cut off but none of that matches to the pain of a heartbreak.

But what I've learned is as long as they're happy you can try to be happy so all I do is make them happy and so I can try and be happy and I have been searching for a new love but my heart is still attached to her but I hope someday that I will find someone as perfect and nice and my absolute dream girl. but you will always find a way out some people just can't find that way out in the end their lives becuse the pain is unbearable.

But just tell yourself that you can fight through it and you can live to live another day because you are you and you can live and you can move on and you can find someone new and be as happy as possible because you are your own person and you don't need them they can go live their life and you can live here because you are one of a kind you are the perfect person for someone out there and you will find that perfect person it may not be now may not be for 10 years but you will find that person and you will be happy for the rest of your life.

- sincerely Jacob Shaw