Prompt :
Make a list of people you don't like or types of people. Why don't you like them? Are they actually bad or do you see bad parts of yourself reflecting in them and that's why you don't like them?
- Jonny
-Cole
-my mom
-my grandparents (both sides)
I guess I'll mostly talk about Jonny, since that's what troubles me the most currently.
The say he acts .
He always plays the victim while his parents / the police where around.
But as SOON as they left. He continued .
I hate the way he whines about everything.
He tells me my dad deserved to die. (He was my bestfriend and I miss him more then words can describe.)
As much as I don't wanna admit it, I was mean to Jonny and drew too.
I made fun of Drew's weight and his absent father.
And I made fun of Jonnys drug addict father.
I apologized multiple times, drew said he forgave me .
I never told anyone I made fun of Jonnys dad and his sick grandfather . I always denied that I did anything.
I don't regret what I said to Jonny, but I regret what I said to drew.
When I yelled at Jonny in-person, it felt good.
It felt great. I had made my enemy afraid of me.
When he started misgendering me , I felt nothing but pure, pure, pure anger.
He continued to misgender me, and still does till today .
The night it hit the most was about a week ago.
I realized my only place to output my emotions and problems was gone, my mother refused to listen and mocked my problems (my gender dysphoria, my depression , my problems with Jonny, etc.)
I laid at the end of my moms bed shaking, I couldn't feel my body and I couldn't get air in me. I laid there sobbing, trying to make myself reach for her arm so she could hold me. But I couldn't get enough energy to do it.
When I was done sobbing my mother scoffed at me and rolled her eyes.
Why? Why does she not listen?
Cole is just a gossiper popular boy, he hasn't done much wrong except for a few minor arguments and misgendering me . I don't care that much tho.
The only reason I cared when Jonny did it , was because I had trusted him with my trans issues before, and he had been the most supportive out of anyone else.
My grandparents is a whole other issue. I'll get to them another time.
