FNF Senpai X Reader || Corrupted Code

Chapter 17: Dissonance

(art by ahyuggg on tumblr)

"Is there a way to go back to your game?"

Love came with some sacrifice. Senpai knew that. What sacrifice that may have foretold, he had no clue, but he hadn't anticipated it to be something such as this.

He knew the way that they glared at him. They saw him as nothing more than a disgusting creature that yearned for nothing more than destruction and hatred; an obsession that was chiselled deeply within his psyche when he realises the reason why he feels like this even though he knows that he shouldn't. Every bone in his body shrieked at him with resentment and animosity, reminding him and reprimanding him. Even though he would plead and beg that he did what was right, he knew what he did was immoral. He shouldn't have forced himself this far.

God, he adored them. He worshipped them so much. He fell for them. Them. (Y/N), the little nobody that he knew they were. They got him to fall in love, but unfortunately for them, he fell hard. It felt as if he was falling down an abyss with nothing to latch onto. This was when he knew that something was amiss, that he was going to do something he shouldn't. He couldn't even begin to restrict his feelings because of how hysterical they were. They make him want to shriek, or even scratch himself until he bleeds. They make him want to do such terrible things, but he loves them. He can't help but feel this way, it's not his fault. He didn't ask to be like this. Senpai wasn't sure how to deal with defeat, much less rejection. It wasn't his fault.

And here they were. Inquiring him about that wretched game he has finally broken out from. The nerve, after such a discomfiting breakdown, too! Is he not doing enough for them, then? He's been coddling them too much.

"You're not scheming on shoving me back, right?" Senpai fastened his grip around his lover's midriff as they strode down the street. "Because I'm not sure if it is even theoretically or physically possible." He could see their visible discomfort, but he paid it no mind. "Already, you have shattered the limits of what is physically possible. Why would you want to try your hand at such a thing again?" Maybe their differences strayed too far, but Senpai could not find himself comprehending why they would ask. If they found a way to send him back, he would just simply...

Not go. What are they going to do? Force him to? He already established that it's not possible.

They were silent for a moment as if assessing what to say next in response to his dismissive words, and honestly, it appeared that it would stay that way until they spoke up eventually. "I guess so," they confessed timidly, "If there's a will, there's a way." They were seriously contemplating it at this point, were they? Oh, they just loved to see him fucking suffer. Even with all his upheavals and well-deserved accusations, they still had enough in them to think such bizarre things. Love truly did come with sacrifice. 

"How about this," his gangly fingers snapped from their waistline to their wrist, jerking them forward to ensure that they wouldn't tug away, "I smash all your electronics, and you never try to send me back, hm? Sound good? Because that sure does sound like a good plan to me. I, for one, believe that you should stop forcing those foolish ideas into your head." He sucked in a breath, the air slithering inside his lungs for longer than he would have hoped before he exhaled with a chuckle. "I get it, I get it now. Let's just go home, and we can resolve this like adults! No distress, no yelling, no screaming and no bruises." He felt as if he was acting rather practical for the circumstance.

Perhaps, if he remains the calm and reasonable one, they'll begin to understand why they're the crazy one instead of blaming it all on him? That they're the one that's been forcing all these crass thoughts in their head? That seems logical. They just don't see it yet. But they will soon enough.

Alas, at least their tender skin was soft. It was a hint that he wasn't just a chaotic mess of coding inside a high school dating simulator as if that was the most original thing to be coming from. They brought him to life. They played with him, laughed along with him, and now they were just rejecting him. After everything he had tried to prevent, all the antagonistic intent he shoved aside for the greater good.. Did they never truly respect him? Were they just playing the game because they simply were bored enough to give it a try? But they thought he was cute. They found his antics to be memorable enough to come back for more. That's not a consequence.

The sound of both of their shoes reverberated within his brain as a constant reminder that they were there with him, and he was next to them. The chilling notion that he may turn around, and they're gone, lingers with him more than he would like to admit. No, no, they're right there. Senpai can feel their warm skin against his frosty fingertips. That is one thing to ground him, not a single thing out of place. Once they arrive home, everything will be okay. Senpai will hold them in his arms and apologise, and they will apologise. Then, they will both lay together until sleep overtakes them. Just like every week. Just like a domestic relationship. Marriage.

"I don't really understand," they suddenly clamoured.

"Understand what?" 

"I don't really understand your motive. the reason why you're doing this. Much less how. I've heard of self-aware AI's, and I've played games where the main love interest turns out to be self-aware, but I have... never heard of this before. It-" they inhaled sharply, and Senpai could sense their wrist quivering in his grip. "-It doesn't make any plausible sense. This is the type of stuff I'd expect from a movie, and you're- You're terrific! I know that you try and you love me and you're trying the best you can but Senpai, You hurt me. You may not know that, but in this world, if you go too far, I won't come back. I won't be able to be with you anymore. Senpai, I'm going to die eventually." Their words caused a halt in both his steps and his breathing.

Death... Yeah, yeah he knows what that is. He is knowledgeable of what happens when someone dies, he's not ludicrous. But they wouldn't die, would they? They're young - has to be fresh out of high school, maybe on their way to college, hell maybe they were in college, so they can't die yet. Reality sure is vicious. Maybe this is all the more why he shouldn't let him out... He can just become accustomed to this reality, get a job, and support them! It shouldn't be that hard. Senpai is sure that things would be fine. Eliminate everything hazardous, keep them safe in their flat, and never, under any circumstance, allow people to see them again.

Senpai exhaled, then nodded. "I won't let you die. It'll be okay, you can just stay home and I'll do what I can to support you. Do you draw? Do any other activities that involve staying inside a house? If so, I'll give you all that and more. You'll be safe in your house, you know it best after all." They don't understand how realistic he's being.

"Can... I see my friends?" Senpai turned his head to see their optimistic gaze peer up at him, and he swore he felt a tinge of dismay in his heart. He opened the front door to their home, pulled them in and held them close to his chest, locking the door behind them. They looked so encouraging, so eager for his response.

With the gentleness of a dove landing on a branch, Senpai leaned forwards and pressed his lips against their own, warmth spreading throughout his body as they barely even thwarted his love. His hand found its way to the back of their head, blunt nails clutching against their scalp as his heart aflutter. His conclusion was set in stone, now. There was no way he could ever allow them to be harmed again.

"No."