the boy upstairs

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As I folded the last box into the recycling bin I let out a loud muffled sigh and throw myself like a ragdoll onto the couch.

"Finally" I muttered reaching for the remote and turning on the TV. The television hummed ever so slightly as it flickered on like how you see in those old cartoons. I throw my legs over the back of the couch, freely manspreading like no one was watching.

"And thank you for watching the BBC, good evening and see you tomorrow".

Stupid fucking timezones I keep missing the news. I flick the TV back off and picked up my phone with angst and a sigh.

The blue logo hypnotises me, finding my way straight to the trending section. Nothing too eye-catching, the usual climate change and some politicians saying some dumb shit. I see a new name is trending.

I check the tag out of curiosity. #wilbursoot. The tag is bombarded with images of a tall, thin-looking boy with lush hair that twirls around in little loops. His glasses look like they were stolen from an elderly man but they oddly suited him.

I stared in awe. He was beautiful.

Other images in the tag consisted of various fanart and videos that have been taken from what looked like twitch streams. I click a video out of curiosity, which has him in it. It was a clip taken from a stream of his.

"Minecraft? People still play that?" I chuckled to myself making fun of him indirectly.

I scroll back to the photos of the cute pale boy admiring his full, genuine smile that makes me grin in a way I haven't in so long. He was... Perfect. I hadn't felt this way in so long that it felt like an entirely new experience. He looked so kind and gentle, cheeks and lips plump and his eyes reminded me of a bright night sky. Blushing furiously, I continue scrolling admiring him.

I jump in shock and slight embarrassment as my phone dropped onto the cherry coloured hardwood floors with a loud booming knock that shook my fragile door. I reach down for my phone and place it quickly onto the coffee table, tying my hair back into a low ponytail and dusting off my shirt.

Another loud booming knock echos through my flat making the thin, brittle walls tremble a little. I rush to the door quickly, unbolting it and opening the door ever so slowly in slight fear and anxiety.

"Hello there! I'm Wilbur your neighbour, hate to be a bother but I thought I would introduce myself".

The same brunette boy I was just checking out is now at my door, I go bright red like a tomato and bring my bangs in-front of my face to hide a little.

I stutter in both confusion and admiration.

"Ha- ah, I uh wasn't expecting a visitor. My name is Y/N".

"Well nice to meet you Y/N! I've noticed you've been quite busy with all your belongings and such so I thought I'd give you time to settle a little before I came and bombarded you with questions! So! Where have you moved from? You sound, hmmm, AUSTRALIAN!"

A smile beamed across his face. He seemed so delighted over such a small thing.

"Yep, you would be correct on that" I spoke quietly acting more shy than usual being overwhelmed that the #wilbursoot trending guy is standing in front of me.

"Do you guys ride kangaroos down there!" he giggled cheekily.

Gosh, he was cute, I couldn't help but get lost in his eyes as he asked more and more questions about me with his British accent thick lick honey.

"Anyway I better be going, I thought I would be the most polite out of this overpriced apartment complex to say hello" he chuckled. "let me know if you need any help with anything I'm only upstairs, flat 204 I'm a pretty tech-savvy guy"

His feet scraped the hard concrete outside the doorway winking as he made his way to the floor upstairs.

"204" I whispered under my breath as if there were others in the room.

I shut the door and latched it again furrowing my eyebrows wondering what had just occurred feeling as if this was a strange matrix glitch.

Picking up my phone I return to twitter to check the hashtag again ensuring that I'm not tricking myself, confirming that yes, it was him I wasn't imagining things.

What are the chances? A warm pit in my stomach began to brew and made me feel cozy and flustered. My cheeks felt hot. I... had a crush.

I went to lay on the couch and clutched my phone to my chest like I was in a coming of age film. A smile painted itself across my face making my jaw and cheeks ache ever so slightly.

It had been a long while since I felt this way, ever since leaving home...

Home was so horrid. Not even moving states was enough for me. The pain and hurt that I thought I had left in Australia still felt fresh. Nothing meant more to me than moving away, finding myself again, finding happiness again.

The way everyone back home had managed to completely screw my perception of almost everything. I could never find a positive in my life and maybe this boy upstairs is my new victim to my own brain.

My mind wandering, "you would probably never have a chance", "he probably already has someone", "he wouldn't be able to deal with you and your silly little problems".

The warm pit in my stomach diminished. This happened often. Good things occur but I always manage to turn it into a negative.

Over the years I've slowly convinced myself that I'm not and never will be deserving of any sort of happiness and shamefully I admit I punish myself, etching red lines into my pale wrists every so often to grasp at what control I have left. A sad life I won't lie.

For the regular person they'd probably frown upon me, but this- this is my normal, the deep dark hole of my depression frequently engulfing me like quicksand.

Although this time it was different, I went to sleep feeling a little lighter, because of him.

You've reached the end of published parts.

⏰ Last updated: Mar 29, 2021 ⏰

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