I don't know why but...I'm just sad for no reason. I don't get it. I'm texting my friend about wholesome headcanons and I'm happy and warmed but also....I feel empty. I wonder why. I'm happy, and sad but I feel empty.....every night, when I'm alone I feel empty. I can't tend to shift at all and I pass out while writing a script. I can't sleep. I'm playing "Social Anxiety meme (daycore)" on loop. I want to talk to someone or even roleplay but no one is online. The only person who currently is.... well I don't want to hurt their feelings bit I just kinda ghosted them for no reason. I mean they want to roleplay a ship I don't ship. I don't mind it but, I'm basically hyperfixated on Something new every month for some reason. I'm not a shipper of the ship they wanna do but so don't wanna hurt them. I wanna do something with them but I'm also kinda not on the same fandom they're fixated on right now. I'm in DHMIS while I make this. My fandoms change every month. I don't have control over this. I'm just really tired but I have no idea what to do as I write this down. All my depression is, is just a shape shifter. Like in the morning your the apple seed, the next hour your the fucking tree then the apple then the tree then the seed then the tree. I don't get it sometimes. My anxiety is the kid who scared you when you least expect it. Causing sudden Anxiety attacks that aren't so obivous that it's a panic or Anxiety attack. My Dyshporia just rails over me like a train running over someone. It's like coming in at speeds of light, so suddenly. Dsps, insomnia just run in and keep me up. I can't sleep unless it's past 1am (1:09am-2am).
Sometimes I want to randomly cry.
My own voice in my head tells me
"Die, die, die, die, die, die, die"
"Dumb, pathetic, worthless, crybaby, nobody, good for nothing, imperfect, worthless"
"You deserve all your pain you goddamn bitch"
"God your pathetic to cry"
"You can't cry."
And it's all random.
When I listen to music, at first I'm enjoying the song then where I listen closer, I can hear the background noises. Like drums, basses, digtial, etc.
It's all so weird. I wonder why...
~Auggie~
Time and date: 11pm, Sunday of march 28th, 2021
Ended: 11:59pm/12am
Words: 430(including theses ones)
Words minus info text: 408
YOU ARE READING
❝𝐒𝐚𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬❞~ᴍʏ ᴠᴇɴᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴏᴋ
Randomsad hours is a venting book where I vent and talk about my problems and emotions. I will usually update at night (in my timezone) 𝙎𝙖𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙮𝙥𝙚𝙨 💀Sucidal 🌧️Sad 💣Rant 🖤Sad girl hours ☕Sad non-binary hours ☄️Wholesome sad hours 🥺Sad b...
