Perfect Imperfection| ZCL

⁷2.5 extra shots of espresso

The sound of the raindrops hitting the windows was calming me down, alongside the hot chocolate in front of me. Summer has been forgotten in a short amount of time as the cold weather made us finally understand there was no going back and it was autumn now.

This is one of the few days when Renjun hangs out with us, making me feel more at peace with myself. After their basketball training, Jeno had this idea of hanging out together in our favourite coffee shop. Donghyuck was sick, but Yeji, Renjun and I came along instead. We were sitting like this on one side of the table, Jeno, Jaemin and Chenle sitting on the other. It wasn't the first time we hung out like this, but it was, maybe, the time I was going to remember the best out of all.

I was carefully typing out ideas in the notes of my phone, stealing glances at the hazelnut-haired boy from time to time. The first thing that I noted was his drink, a venti Iced Americano with 2.5 extra shots of espresso, drink that was probably darker than the depths of hell, but which, by the look on Jaemin's face, he adored. Yeji laughed at him, wondering how he's going to sleep at night after drinking that, but he shrugged it off with a smile.

Despite the fact that his drink is insanely bitter, he's just so sweet.

I note other small details on my phone, trying not to be too obvious. The only people that knew about my intentions at that table were Chenle and I and he promised me he won't tell anybody so my secret was safe. However, I could feel his gaze on me as I was typing and I tried to ignore it. He wasn't that annoying after all.

There was something about Jaemin's aura that was bothering me though. He was just too bright. There wasn't any dark side of him, excluding the pitch black coffee that he was enjoying so much. And I was constantly thinking about how this boy can be so kind and sweet all the time.

He couldn't.

There had to be something about him that I hadn't found out yet, something that made him less perfect and more human. Because there is no such thing as angels on earth, even though he surely seemed to be one.

Yeji gets me out of my deep thoughts by snapping her fingers in front of my eyes, making me flinch awkwardly, Jeno and Jaemin chuckling slightly.

"Is Aeri not your name?" She asks. "Thought we were friends, still you haven't even told me your real name."

I smile and shake my head.

"We were talking about the writing contest," she explains "have you talked to mrs. Kang after all? Will you be judging?"

I nod.

"I have and yes, I will be one of the judges," I say smiling. "This is so awesome, I still can't believe she thought about this and proposed me to be part of the jury."

"You're really talented, no wonder why she did such thing," Renjun says in his calming tone and I smile, engulfing the half-filled mug with my hands.

"Yeah, we'd probably know that too if she ever let us read whatever she writes," Jeno rolls his eyes but smiles afterwards. "I still can't believe she trusts you more than she trusts me..."

"It's not about trust, for the 100th time, Jennie," I say annoyed and Yeji chuckles at Jeno's nickname.

"You always say that," his words are hurt, but he looks calm. I know he's just trying to make me feel guilty when deep down he understood long ago why I barely ever show a piece of my writing to him or to Hyuck or to anybody else excluding Renjun.

"When her books will be out for the world, you'll see it all, don't worry," Jaemin says, patting Jeno's back and making me chuckle.

We've had a few encounters by now and he's come to know how passionate I was about writing. He didn't push it though and that was just another reason for me to like him.

"I don't know," I shake my head smiling. "We'll see about that."

"Aeri, I would seriously kill to figure out what goes on in your head sometimes," Yeji jokes and I smile, but I feel myself faking it.

"You don't wanna know," I whisper.

"I do," She says and I look at her for a few seconds before shaking my head.

"She would never let you know, though," Renjun smiles.

"Actually," Chenle says, looking at his cappuccino as if he could foresees the future in the creamy liquid. "We usually let the others know a lot of things about us."

He smiles. Killer.

"It's just the others that don't pay enough attention to figure it out," he continues.

I look at him, breath hitching in my throat but he seems unfazed. He has just said that basically, I'm an open book for the ones who know how to read.

Fear creeps up through me as I realize that despite the fact that he promised he wouldn't tell anybody about my notebook, he will never drop it and will forever use whatever he read in there in a way to make me feel like an outcast. Like I owe him something.

I feel tears threatening to roll on my cheeks and I lower my head so nobody can see the water pooling in my eyes.

Don't cry, honey. Why did we have to switch our notebooks, why did he have to read mine and know how impossibly interested I am in Na Jaemin and everything regarding him?

I excuse myself from the table and go to the restroom in order to wipe the tears away. There's some kind of fissure in my thoughts, as once I lost my notebook, things got out of hand and I didn't have control over the situation anymore. I try to imagine that all this anxiety could be washed away like my tears, with cold water. But it's hard to ease the heaviness when it's all that I can feel.

"I should get going," I say once I return to my friends and take my backpack.

They look at me and I see the sudden change in the mood as if they've sensed my small breakdown.

"Then let's leave together," Yeji says standing up and taking her bag as well.

The boys follow us outside and we stop for a second in order to figure out who and which way they're going. Usually, Jeno, Renjun and I go home together, but tonight, Jeno had to take care of his little cousins and Renjun had to visit Hyuck in order to give him his notes for the week as he has missed classes. Yeji was living in some other neighborhood and Jaemin said he had to take the bus to get home. Therefore, fortunately or not, I was left alone with Zhong Chenle.

"Don't you have to get home?" I ask after Renjun waves us goodbye, being the last one out of my friends to leave.

Chenle shrugs.

"Wouldn't it be rude of me to let you walk alone?"

"Not really," I sigh.

"I'm still not going to do it though," He says and I shrug.

After a few seconds of silence, he continues:

"Actually, there's a reason I wanted to walk with you," He says before turning his head towards me.

He gives me one of his killer smiles and for a split second, I feel myself able to do anything. For him.

"Follow me."