THE REALITY CHECK

This story starts from the magazine cover problem.
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Mishti POV

Abir is so happy. Everything is sorted right. Kuhu is happy , my bade Papa and badi ma are happy and everybody is praising me. But, I am not feeling content. It feels like that sorry took away something from me.

Am I so unimportant to everyone? Kuhu is allowed to speak as much as she likes. She insults me for no mistake of mine and still she is never a target. I have to say sorry for every mistake even though I have not done anything.

But, today Ma felt right to send us out to bring peace in the house. Tomorrow another thing happened and again this happened then what will I do? Abir also left me to live somewhere else. Tomorrow again a misunderstanding will happen and then again I have to say sorry or na will throw me out of the house.

I need to find a solution to it. Somewhere I can go incase anything happens. Atleast a job which is independent of Abir and his family. Yup, the first step.bext, I will try and avoid kuhu. No matter good or bad, in her eyes I do wrong and then everybody is after me. Next, I will try to talk to Abir for not having a baby now. If he doesn't consider me to be able to become a mother maybe really I am not ready plus I will get time to sort my life out.

So step 1 start- job hunting.
I put up my resume on various sites and even gave some tests. See what happens. Atleast then nobody will say I want to take up Kunal's  hard earned money.

Abir's POV

I am so happy today. Maybe now everything will be fine. But, Mishti is in some serious thoughts. She has been sitting in front of the laptop from last 3 hours. As she got up to go to the washroom, I saw the sites for job opened up. But, why Mishti needs to do it? I have an NGO and Mishti also has a company. Let me ask her.

Mishti POV

Abir saw my job hunting. God, now I need to explain it to him. Okay let's be honest Mishti, vaise bhi jhoot bolne Ka to koi matlab Nahi. I called him out.

"Abir? Let's talk. I am going to give you all explanations and I need to clarify some more things too."

Abir looked a little shocked. I took his hand and we sat on the bed to discuss the issues. God ! It is going to be so difficult.

Writer's POV

Abir looked at Mishti confused and afraid. He didn't know why he felt as if something is wrong. A feeling of dread filled his veins as they sat to discuss as if he was going to lose her.

Mishti took a deep breath and started,
" Abir, actually vo aaj and Jo bhi aaj tak hua hai usse to mujhe yahi lagta hai ki I should find a job. I mean is Ghar mein nobody likes me enough. I mean aaj ma ne Ghar se Nikal Diya, bade Papa ne bhi Kaha sab sort Kar lo fir aana. Tum bhi thode time ke liye hi Sahi, par chale gaye. I am just tired Abir. Kal ko fir Kuch ho gaya to main Kahan jaungi. Kuhu ka saath to sab de denge kyunki vo immature hai. But, mera kya Abir? Fir sabko lagega ki mein home breaker hoon. Maheshwari house mein to vaise bhi jasmeet chachi and Varsha aunty don't like to see me. It's better I have some options or my own income to atleast rent a house. I know I can come to the NGO but, in case tum bhi naraaz ho gaye to? And vo company to vaise bhieri hai hi Kahan. Kunal ki mehnat hai. I don't want his money.

Kuhu vaise bhi Ghar mein itne issues par ladti hai. Yeh un mein SE ek aur ho jayega. Aur shayd vo Sahi bhi hai. So I decided to do a job.

Ek aur cheez Abir, I am going to avoid Kuhu. I know it's extreme, but I am tired Abir. Sab fir ladte Hain Abir and end mein I apologize no matter what. I am so tired Abir. I am sorry , I won't be able to sort this out. I have been trying to do this for a long time but, it always goes in the same manner. I sort , she agrees , next some problem occurs, then again Mishti becomes responsible, I say sorry and again the cycle starts. Atleast I can reduce this.

And Abir, let's try to have a baby later okay. You feel I cannot be a good mother. I think it's true. I am unable to cope with all these things. Let me find a job and vo avoid vala bhi thoda normal ban Jaye, thodi shanti ho jaye, Uske baad we will talk. Agar fir bhi hamara bacha kuhu ki khushiyon par dependent hua, then we will wait , I don't want him to grow up like I did , trying to make everyone happy.

I have said everything. Please understand this and I hope you feel this is right because I am unable to find another solution."

To say Abir was shocked was an understatement. He felt sad and disappointed in himself. He was unable to make her part of a family. In fact, she considered herself to be someone who could easily be thrown out and nobody would stop her.

By trying to keep the peace of the house, he had made her the scapegoat.She was tired of fighting kuhu all the time. And even he didn't make it easy for her.in fact she had been pushed to a point that  she didn't even want to become a mother as she was afraid his or her life would be same as she had. As Abir went into a guilt trip, Mishti panicked.

Another panic attack was coming. How? She doesn't understand. Why the hell her body does not obey when she wants to? Her breaths were coming out very fast. She started to rub her hands vigoursly.

Mishti's reactions brought Abir out of his head. " Breathe Mishti ! 1,2,3,4...." As Mishti was coming out of the attack , Abir realised that the kind of life they were living was going to put Mishti again into the same situation as before. And this time he would hold the highest responsibility for that.

The end