i can't protect you

187 0 2

by newtsniffles

by newtsniffles

for @gueneverey : 'can you make an imagine that's angsty and sad but with a happy ending?'

house: slytherin

year: 6

'because the dawn before the sun rises is the darkest.'

The dawn allowed for soft rays of sunlight to hit my skin. Yet I still felt cold, empty. The void in my chest grew larger with each passing moment. It was just me atop the astronomy tower, legs dangling over the edge. I want to blame him, I want to hate him, shun him, yet my heart yearns for his delicate touch.

The unruly fate that had been cast upon us, at first it was so kind, now I had been torn from him. The boy who had no choice, the boy who just wanted his parents to love him. He had left me in the dust, but I cannot hate him. He had thought it was a good idea, he had thought it would protect me. If only he knew, I was the safest beside him. The safest from my own emotions, and the war.

'(Y/n), don't make this harder, please.' His sobs were loud as he cradled me in his arms.

'Don't you get it Draco? I'm safer with you, not without you.' My fingers dug into his shoulders, trying to grasp onto these few moments we have left. He was stubborn, I knew his mind was set.

'No, you aren't. I can't protect you.' The all familiar softness of his lips connecting with my forehead was enough to make me lose it. My mind was racing yet it thought of nothing at the same time. I was alone, again.

'Can't you disobey your father? Just this once?' I begged and begged. Had the situation been different, maybe I would have laughed at how desperate I sounded.

'You know that will only put you in harms way.' His lips connected to mine for the last time as he left my aching body on the common room couch. 'Maybe once all this is over, we will find our way back to each other again. Until then, look after yourself my love.'

Before I knew it, the sun had reached a higher point and the daylight surrounded me. However, I felt no different. My life was still as dark as the dawn before the sunrise. It was cold, bitter and never-ending. The beating of my heart was so soft, but it was so loud. The world, a cacophony of natural sounds that made it feel like my ears were bleeding. I wanted to drown it all out.

I wanted it to be me and him again. He was there when I felt low and lowest. He knew the right things to say and the way to hold me. He knew how to love me as I loved him... still love him.

"The sun might be out, but its still winter. I asked you to look after yourself and you're wearing a simple t-shirt?" My head snapped to the stairs at the familiar voice.

"You..." A fresh set of tears cascade down my already damp face. I stand up as he walks to stand in front of me. The sorry look in his eyes made me want to jump into his embrace and give him all my affection. He had to know though... he had to know how I felt. "You can't run away and then come back and tell me I haven't been looking after myself!" I slam my fists down onto his chest. "You don't get to! You can't!" Punch after punch, he stood there taking it. Flat palms pushing him backwards. "You did this to me! It's your fault! You don't get to- you left," I cry.

"My love..." he reaches forward with an open palm. How badly I wanted to grab his hand, I guess only I will ever know. But I didn't, I stepped back.

"Why are you here? You left me."

"I thought I could do it. I thought from afar I could protect you better." He stepped closer to me again, this time I stood still. "I realise now... I was trying to protect you from the war within myself more than all else."

"I could have helped you." Looking down at our feet, I noticed how close we are. It had been a few months since I had felt his warmth, his presence.

"I'm not better, and I can't promise you safety," Draco leans his forehead down onto my own. Hands on my cheeks as he speaks. "But I can promise to be by your side as I know you will be by mine. I can promise to love you. We'll do this together." He pulls his pinkie finger back, something that would usually be a childish promise but in this case, was so much more.

"Together." I wrap my pinkie around his as the sun shines down on us. Things were only just beginning, but I had to look forward, because the dawn before the sun rises is always the darkest.

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