Fear.
I'm scared.
I'm scared of love.
Because it never lasts forever.
Because it breaks apart.
Because after a while they lose interest.
Because after a while they found their new number 1.
You never know when it's over. Everyday they tell you, how much they love you. And so do you.
In those moments everything you think about is your future with them.
But what if you wake up one day and they're not with you.
They are not laying next to you, watching you sleep peacefully, how they always do.
What if you wake up and realize, your time with them is over.
It was limited.
You didn't come to do the things you wanted to do with them.
You didn't have the chance to say 'Yes'.
Because you were not the person they wanted to grow old with.
I'm scared of friendship.
Because you don't know who you can really trust.
Because you don't know who's gonna stay.
Because there is always a black sheep.
What if everything was perfect.
What if your friends are the best people you could ever wish for.
Will they leave you?
Will they leave, because they think your boring?
Will they leave, because they found better friends?
Will they leave, because your friendship was made out of lies?
Will they leave, because they lost interest?
You will never know.
Because nobody reveals every single part of them.
Can you trust them blindly?
You can.
But there is always the chance of getting betrayed.
And betrayal never comes from your enemy.
The only ones who can betray you are your loved ones.
Can you trust those who tell you, they are friends?
I'm scared of love.
Not the Relationship-kind-of-love.
Not the Friendship-kind-of-love.
The love within a family.
Are they really supporting?
Are they really helping?
Are they really there?
Most would say yes.
But what if it is all a play?
What if it is a bet?
What if secretly, they're just waiting to take you down?
They sugarcoat their words.
They sugarcoat their lectures.
They sugarcoat their insults.
Are they meaning it?
Or are they just trying to destroy you from the inside.
Are they there?
Or are they trying to make you believe?
Are they?
I'm scared of the future.
Am I going to make it?
Am I going to make others proud?
Am I going to be strong?
Am I going to dissapoint myself again?
I don't know.
And that scares me.
I don't know, if I'm gonna do a good job.
I don't know, if I'm gonna be successfull.
I don't know, if anybody's gonna be impressed by me.
I don't know, if I'm gonna let down someone.
What I do know is, that most people don't mean anything they tell me.
They act supporting.
They act impressed.
They act loving.
All they do is teaching me to believe lies.
Lies coming from others lips.
Lies coming from others brains.
Lies coming from others hearts.
All of it just to make me feel good.
Without thinking about the consequences it could have.
Because when all those things stop, I know that I'm going to dissapoint myself.
So I listen to the lies of my loved ones.
I listen to their praises.
I listen to their lies to make me feel better about the future.
But what happens in the future?
Will I break from all the lies that are weighing me down?
Author: L.C.B
