The Aftermath

I Stink

The show changed my life, and as much as I hate Chris McLame, I can't help but thank him for introducin' me to some new pals and gals. I got my bud Geoff, big guy Owen, Pasty with me, amazing man DJ, and Prin- Shit. Y'know what, new topic. My feet were sitting on some decorative table Ma planted down years ago, something I only probably only noticed until now. My whole body hurts, and I don't how or why. It just fucking aches like hell. The type of pain you know that's gonna go away in a few days time but acts like a real bitch when it comes to speedin' up the process. That's how much it hurts.

The humid air around me clung to my body; I could tell because I was sweating like crazy. Beads of sweat were dripping down my forehead and even I would admit, that I smelled like dirty socks. Not that I would've known what those smell like. Heh. Parents were out of town: Pa on some special business trip he told me two or three weeks ago (I'm pretty sure I dozed off while he was telling me about it), and Ma was at her friends' house... Sandy or Shelly, was it? Don't know, don't care.

The Sun: a big ball of hot stuff that will cook you up alive. Not a big fan of it, pretty sure it feels the same way about me, seeing that those 'beads of sweat' turned into buckets worth of disgusting bodily fluids. Maybe not buckets but still, lots. The smell reminded me of Harold's stink, the fart that he let out during that, I think, superhero challenge back on season two of that stupid show. I don't like thinking about season two, too much cheesy stuff. I'm a new person now, I swear I am. A better, cooler, total amazeballs person. And if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, audience, I don't like watching any of the seasons. One of my reasons being her- I mean- my corny behaviour. Like damn, what was I thinking back then? 

I was caught off guard when the horrendous stench of my own body started to fill up my nose. I smell like Doris now! (How the hell does he not know he smells like this? Every day?) Guess it was time for Duncan to take a shower now, sunny days are not for him. Gotta wash off that stink, I smell like a neanderthal.

Neanderthal?