I opened the door, and standing there was a woman. She was beautiful, with brown hair and eyes a color I wasn't sure of. The first words she said to me were very strange. "Joseph, thank god you haven't done it yet! I barely made it to your room in time."
"Excuse me?" I stammered. I hadn't told anyone where I would be that evening, much less what my motives were. She flipped her hair and rolled her eyes impatiently at me. "I SAID, I barely made it to your room in time. From what I understand, you were about 5 seconds away from decorating the inside of your skull with some lead."
I was completely shocked. How did she know what I was going to do? Had she been watching me? I stepped away from her, appalled. I racked my brain for something to say, and I constructed the most rational, thought out question I could think of. "What?"
She rolled her eyes yet again and sighed a long exaggerated sigh. "Ok, this is clearly going nowhere." She started speaking in a slow, overemphasized voice. "I AM HERE TO STOP YOU FROM OFFING YOURSELF. There, better?" I was shocked. How did she know of my plans? I decided to ask. Just keep this in mind. I was 1000 percent sure I hadn't even dropped a CLUE I was going to kill myself, so her knowing that terrified me. "Where you....w....w..." She cut me off. "W..... w.... watching? LEARN TO ANNUNCIATE MAN. I'm sorry, but if I let you do the talking we'd be here all night and believe me, I've got places to be. Now, let me answer you. Yes, I was watching you, but not in a creepy "I wanna rape you" kinda way.
"Who.... who are you?" I managed to reply. " She looked at me with a knowing grin. "I am a being of many epithets. I have been anointed a Prince, yet branded a beast. In one of his books, Charles Dickens referred to me as Old Nick."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This woman had just declared herself to be....the embodiment of..... evil.
