soukoku/pills

Pills

Regret or anxious?

Chuuya didn't know which to pick for this certain event.there laid a hopeless man that has now down him with wine and another special item,pills.

.....................

He felt weak and tired of living,the dreadful days of moving forward with another mess to fix for mori's commands.chuuya was in a never ending cycle of pain and toture unless he did something to free him,so naturally suicide was his best option the thought of the light headed feeling and last breathe that finally gets to rest from this so call 'amazaing' life.he wanted the last push of pain before sending him six feet under,the pure blist of cold oxygen leaving it's body.

He had checked the time and read '10:30pm' this was the perfect timing for his plan right?He stood up from his office at the mafia base,walked out the room and told Kouyou that he would be off.chuuya then left with his motorbike to head to a common bar that he knew.the wind brushing across his face almost made him feel human.

Human...

No.in fact chuuya has believed that he is a ugly,corrupted monster.a monster designed from heartless humans.he always wanted to be a human,the way of life and parents hugging their child with such delicate hold but in his reality,he got touchy scientist and ruff hands along his body,chuuya is a ugly monster with no right to be alive...

Then he finally arrived at the bar 'Lupins',he parked his motorbike and walked in to drink his life away.he sat down on his regular seat and a bartender walked up to him.

"Ah,I see Mr.Nakahara has joined us today,what would you like?",the old man said while wiping a glass cup with a rag.

"Romanée-Conti 1964,i need some of that right now",he sighs,laying his head down on the side of his elbow.

"Coming right up sir",he smiled gently then turned around to open the bottle and pour it into a red wine cup.

"There you go Mr.Nakahara",placing down the cup on the table in front on chuuya.

-Chuuya nodded then INHALED THAT BITCH DOWN HIS THROAT!-

Chuuya grabbed the wine cup and began to let the liquid slide down his throat,the cold touch against his warm skin.in those moments chuuya realised that what he would even do,would be back for him again and again until he stopped it himself.

...........

After a few more cups of the fine expensive wine,he paid then left the bar sitting on the ground next to his motorbike.he reached into his inner pocket and there in his hands,a bottle of pills laid before his eyes.antidepressant pills...

At this point of time,chuuya didn't have a care in the world but then you thing hit him.what would dazai do?yes chuuya disliked dazai with all his heart but he couldn't leave the thought of how dazai would react if he found out chuuya died?

Chuuya did have a care but gave up and opened the bottle swallowing three quarters of the bottle down.the feeling of dry capsules made him groan in annoyance,he started to get the mild symptoms of overdosing the pills.

Maybe this wasn't what he wanted or maybe he was being dramatic,whatever the thought was,chuuya felt bad.he was anxious and sweating,he regretted the decision of swallowing them all but he couldn't reverse it all.his pupils dilated and his vision became a blur,the effect of the overdosing pills were taking control of his body like 'corruption' but without destroy anyone but himself.with the leftover strength he had,chuuya grabbed his phone and dialled a phone number and rang it up.his hands were a trembling mess and his body was lying down on the cold ground.

Ring.....ring.....ring......

"What is it slug,did you miss me?"

"Osamu...."

Dazai was shocked by the gingers choice of words.chuuya only called him but his family name when it was important.

"Chibi?What's going on it's really late and no one will like a tired chibi."

"I took-i took a shit ton of pills.....",chuuya whispered in a breathy tone of voice,the weak sound of pain.

Dazai was confused and a little worried.his back began to sweat and hands gripped in a fist,he had never heard chuuya talk in this sort of manner.

"Chuuya what pills!how many!"

"You know....just some pills,i don't know-i don't know how many but i think of almost the entire bottle...." 

Even for a suicidal maniac this was painful to hear,dazai hated chuuya but when life turns into a pile of shit,sometimes the ones you hate become your everything in that moment.

"CHUUYA WHERE ARE YOU!"

"Lupin bar....osamu it hurts.it hurts a lot osamu..."

The pain and aching feeling between both lines of the phone shared a deep emotion,the way chuuya spoke telling dazai it hurts made him suffer.he wanted to be with chuuya and for an odd reason...kiss him.

"I'm coming for you partner...",he said while still on the line as he ran to the bar,he never got a car since he was horrible at driving so his best option was running to him.

"Osamu, don't leave me again....it hurts too much...",dazai could hear chuuya's weeping and crying across the phone and it made him feel so guilty.he never thought that chuuya dying would ever happen before his.

'Don't leave me again' that sentence made him feel like knives pierced through his heart especially 'again'

............

When dazai arrived,he saw chuuya in a dark alleyway with his bike beside him.

"CHHUYA"

He ran up to him and pulled the fragile man on his lap,stroking his fire locks.

In that very minute,he called yosano one of his colleagues from the armed detective agency.

"dazai?"

Tears were streaming down both their faces, they both looked so tired and exhausted from this world,they both knew that there was nothing to save chuuya.

"I'm not going to ma-"

Dazai had set his lips on chuuya,he tasted the sweet flavour of wine and tears mixed felt like a bust of emotions.chuuya's lips were soft but rough on the side from the breezing wind.dazai cupped chuuya's face and slipped his tongue into his mouth then intertwined with each other,not some fake romantic story that tells the kiss is sweet,but instead salty.a slimy tangle but the embrace of one another made the feeling warm and relaxing.chuuya was happy.his final minutes with dazai could end suffering altogether.

(never kissed before so don't judge me,i'm just guessing how it feels)

"Chuuya,I'm not leaving this time but instead I'm joining you...."

"No you c-can't"

Chuuya was too weak and he couldn't think straight from his raging headache,dazai grabbed the open bottle from chuuya's left hand and then pour the rest of the pill down.roughly around 20-30 went into dazai system but he didn't care.if this was the way to die,this was the best event to commit double suicide with the man he choose to be with.

In their final actions,they held each other's hands,symbolizing that double black would never end but develop to a burning passion of an odd feeling.

"I love you osamu dazai"

"I love you chuuya nakahara"

................

💊💊💊