chance with you // SamYU

i lost myself

Disclaimer: This is my first fic in English which isn't my native language, so I'm sorry in advance if some parts aren't understandable. If you see any mistakes, feel free to correct me so that I can get better :) Enjoy!

„Lin Zi Hong..." I groaned, feeling his hot breath on my neck and his strong body pressing me against the leather sofa. He suddenly looked at me with a confusion painted across his face. I frowned, not knowing why he stopped. Then I heard the director yelling „Cut!"and I realized what I just did.

I moaned Sam's name instead of Gao Shi De's. We are filming the passionate, painful sofa scene, and I moaned the wrong name. Why did I do that? I felt like we were the only people in this room. Like I was Shu Yi and he was me. I felt all of his pain and sorrow. But at the time there was me, Yang Yu Teng, kissed by Lin Zi Hong himself.

„Oh... I'm sorry... I don't know w-why..." I stuttered, smiling awkwardly with my hand resting on Sam's arm. He was silent for a short moment, and I could feel his gaze on me.

„That's okay, Yu Teng. You wanna take a break?" He asked, looking at my face very carefully. He looked worried and really, really tired. After all, he drank a lot of whiskey tonight and yet it was me who said the wrong name. How nice.

„No, there's no need. We're almost at the end of the scene, let's just end this."

I gave him a smile, though I was looking everywhere but in his eyes. I just couldn't. I was so embarrassed. I didn't even want to think about all the people in the room that heard me, because then I would just burn with shame.

„We'll start over, boys. From the part where Shi De leads Shu Yi on the sofa. Yu, keep resisting him at first like you did just now. Try to avoid his gaze."
Well, that I can do now.

***
I somehow managed to get through that damn scene. Sam looked exhausted. I don't think I ever in my life saw someone cry like that. Some people say I cry beautifully, whatever that means, but as for him... It was just heartbreaking to watch. It hurt. No wonder I got a little bit carried away – he was so natural, I could see the pain coming out of his eyes and falling over my body. His tears dropping on my face. His sobs burning a hole in my chest. It was overwhelming for both of us.

I hugged him when we were done.

„You did well." I said, patting the back of his back. Then I looked at his face and wanted to wipe the tears off his cheek, but he gently grabbed my hand and stepped away from me.

Did I make him uncomfortable?

He lied on the sofa. I was still beside him, looking at my feet and trying to calm myself down. The director came over and praised us. I smiled indistinctly, still embarrassed by my earlier mistake. Sam thanked him and sighed theatrically with a broad smile on his lips, probably to amuse us. He always did that. Even when he was extremely tired, he wanted to put others in a good mood. At the same time, he was able to clearly express his opinions when something didn't suit him. He was honest and very caring. I really... liked that about him.

We watched the whole scene together, but Sam was so tired he couldn't even keep his eyes open. He fell asleep on my shoulder, and I just sat there, frozen.

„Hey, Sam... You should go home and rest properly." I said softly, looking at his face. He looked so calm. „Can you hear me?"

„Why you don't... call me Lin Zi Hong anymore..." He mumbled with his eyes still closed. He moved even closer to me, clinging on to my arm.

I couldn't say a word. My heart started beating so fast, just like before when we were shooting the scene.

„I... What?"

„Say it... Say it like you did before..." He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at me. He was clearly not thinking straight. But to think he would say something likes this even in this state... I was so glad we weren't alone, because I don't know if I could have hold myself back otherwise. Lin Zi Hong, you're cruel.

„You need to go to bed. I will tell your manager to drove you home." I stood up, but he suddenly grabbed my wrist and pulled me a little closer so that I could look at his face.

„I'm not that drank. We'll go back to that conversation."

He looked into my eyes with boldness and full seriousness on his face. I was just looking at him, not able to say anything. When I started to feel that my thoughts were drifting away, he smiled gently and let go of my hand. He stood up and hugged me a little awkwardly. Then he was gone. And I had no idea what to do with this storm of emotions and the strange feeling whistling through my heart.