Between the lines

The heart wants what it wants

Logan looked at her and stepped forward. Su-ryeon swallowed when she realized what he was about to do. He touched her left cheek as if he was caressing the most beautiful flower ever and licked his lips. Su-ryeon looked at him right in the eyes.

"Logan, I..." Su-ryeon started, but he interrupted her as he closed the gap between them. He kissed her tenderly. Su-ryeon frowned. She felt as if she had been kissed by him before, but she couldn't really recall that moment.

Shim Su-ryeon closed her eyes and was about to part her lips for him, when her mind started to wander. Someone's laugher was echoing in her head. It was familiar, soft, and sweet, but she couldn't put a face to it. The tension she was feeling disappeared. The romantic melody soothed her. Suddenly, a scent accompanied the laughter. It was a refreshing, yet welcomed perfume sweeping her off her feet. Unconsciously, she breathed in and craved its owner's warmth. Her hands went numb, as if they were missing somebody's gentle touch. Su-ryeon rubbed her thumb against each of her fingertips. The cold air against her skin unsettled her. She needed to feel that ghost's warm touch, the familiarity and the comfort of it.
Another feeling took over her as she visualized someone's kind smile. It made her heart ache. She could see it so vividly in her mind. The perfect white teeth, the lipstick, and the softness of those so inviting lips. Su-ryeon smiled into the kiss. She was so immersed in her own thoughts that she only realized that she was kissing the wrong person when she heard him moaning. She opened her eyes and her left hand went to his chest as she pushed him away from her slowly. Logan opened his eyes and looked at her with concern.

"I-I can't," Su-ryeon said, ashamed. She couldn't believe that she had been thinking about someone else when she was being kissed by him. Logan swallowed. He didn't understand. He thought that there was something personal going on between them. "It's not you. It's me," she added when she saw a flash of confusion across his face.

"Are you not ready to be in a relationship? Are you not ready to be happy?" Logan asked her, softly. He looked at her and noticed that she was struggling to find the right words. "I can make you happy, Su-ryeon. Let me make you happy."

"I came back to avenge my daughter's death and I can't let my feelings get in the way," Su-ryeon replied, seriously. Logan raised an eyebrow. He knew that she wasn't being completely honest with him. "If I have to put my life on the line for this, I will without thinking twice. And if I fall, I shall do it alone. I'm not taking you down with me."

"It's too late now. I won't let you do this all by yourself," Logan answered, coldly. Su-ryeon eyed him. She knew that he would risk his life to save hers and that was why she wanted him to stay away from her. That was why she would never tell Oh Yoon-hee who she truly was and how she felt about her. She didn't want to cause her any pain. She would rather die without Yoon-hee knowing the truth than making her go through the same pain of losing her twice.

"I'm doing this to protect you from myself," Su-ryeon replied after a few seconds. She lowered her gaze. She felt the memories flooding back one by one. She remembered Oh Yoon-hee's laugh, perfume, touch, and smile. Su-ryeon bit her lip. If only she hadn't seen her. If only she had learned to think with her head and not with her heart.

"All I care about is you. Trust us, Su-ryeon. Oh Yoon-hee and I will keep you safe. We will help you," Logan insisted, trying to read her like he used to, but Su-ryeon put on her façade. However, her heart skipped a beat when he mentioned her name. "Let me have your back. You don't have to do this alone."

"No, Logan. Don't you drag her into this mess. I'm dealing with her on my own way," Su-ryeon replied, softly. Logan eyed her suspiciously.

"Are you? Because it seems to me that you have forgotten that she cannot be trusted," Logan said, defensively. Su-ryeon met his eyes for the very first time since their kiss. Her eyes were red and watery. He frowned. "Did I miss something?" he asked her, confused.

"No. I need to check some things before filling you in," Su-ryeon replied, omitting the fact that she had Joo Dan-tae followed. She was quite sure that he had framed Oh Yoon-hee, but she decided to keep it to herself until she had real and concrete evidence. She knew that Logan could be quite impulsive at times.

"She knows it's you," Logan informed her, unexpectedly. Su-Ryeon's eyes went wide, but before she could speak, he carried on. "She told me that there was something off about you that resembled Su-ryeon. She said that it had to do with the way you look at her that made her realize that Na Ae-gyo was a cover," he said, remembering that moment. It had been right after he told her about his feelings towards Su-ryeon. He hadn't given it too much thought until now.

"What?" Su-ryeon asked him in a whisper. She did her best to hide her true feelings when having Oh Yoon-hee around and she thought she had managed to convince them all. Logan chuckled.

"She's right, you know? There's something different when she's around. Your eyes..." he said, touching her cheek once more. Their eyes met and Su-ryeon swallowed hard. Logan's eyes went to her lips for the briefest of seconds before returning to her brown expecting eyes. "They seem to light up," he explained to her, witnessing the sparkle in her eyes at the mention of Oh Yoon-hee.

"What are you talking about? That's not true," she replied, uncomfortable. She stepped back and played with her hair. Logan smiled at her.

"It is and I know it because I have seen it before," Logan replied, seriously. Su-ryeon looked at him again. His hand ran through his hair in frustration. He wasn't about to confess to her that he had noticed it before in his own eyes when she was around. Instead, he was going to reveal an observation he made years ago, when he had just arrived in Korea. "Her eyes light up when you're around. They always have," Su-ryeon's jaw dropped and she shook her head in denial.

"Don't be ridiculous, Logan. You know very well that she is in love with Ha Yoon-chul," Su-ryeon replied, looking at him. He couldn't be serious. She knew that she and Oh Yoon-hee shared a especial bond, but could she feel the same way? No, she didn't think so.

"She is as in love with him as you're with Joo Dan-tae," Logan replied, sarcastically. Su-ryeon bit her lip. He had a point. "That's why it is you and not me, isn't it?" he asked her, referring to her excuse as to why she broke the kiss. Shim Su-ryeon lowered her gaze. "I think you have a chance with her."

"Logan," Su-ryeon whispered, trying to make eye contact with him, but he walked away. He knew that Su-ryeon's relationship with Oh Yoon-hee was different, but he never thought that it would be that different and her not denying it didn't make things easier for him. He swallowed before speaking again.

"The heart wants what it wants and yours doesn't want me," Logan answered, turning around to look at her. Su-ryeon knew that he deserved an explanation, but she wasn't ready to be one hundred percent honest with him. Actually, she wasn't even ready to be honest with herself either.

"I'm sorry," Su-ryeon muttered, softly. Logan gave her a sad small smile. He sighed in frustration and met her eyes again.

"You deserve to be happy even if it's not with me," he said with a heavy heart. He was so happy to finally have her back in his life. He was willing to do all the things he wished he had done before. He wasn't about to let anything hold him back, however, it all shattered into pieces. He never had her, yet he was losing her again. Logan offered her one last smile before making his way to the door. Su-ryeon followed him with her eyes. When he was gone, she sat on the sofa. She closed her eyes as she thought of Oh Yoon-hee. She decided with an smile on her face that she was going to give her heart what it wanted once she was over with her revenge.
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