💎 Z A Y N 💎

25

'Love to Hate me' - Blackpink

Unedited

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Should I tell him or not?

This thought rung in her head several times a day, ever since he had picked up on her strange habits. Of course he would think she's pregnant because that's what her behaviour insinuated but she knew better. Yes, there could be a chance that she was, but all the tests came negative so that confirmed what she already knew.

She had body dysmorphia. Constantly worrying about her appearance, specifically her weight. She would see excess fat in places where there wasn't, and that lead her to starving herself. She'd survive on tea everyday and the one day her mother would insist on having dinner as a family, Syra would eat only a little to keep her family from being suspicious. And it worked. They thought she lost weight due to stress of her A levels, which was partially true. She never visited a doctor for any of this but she was pretty sure she was close to developing an eating disorder if she continued.

Now that she had Zayn, these habits of hers were really hard to maintain. They ate breakfast together when he came to pick her up, lunch at colly together and eat over ft together, or send pics. And if she didn't he'd go berserk. So she ate. Force herself too. And she found that soon, she didn't have to force herself. She looked forward to her meals, took them very seriously. She found that her tiredness, dizziness and headaches stopped, she could focus better and that she didn't gain too much weight- she became healthy. And she liked that.

So she begun eating weird ass shit. She became greedy with food, as if she was eating for the last time. And very stupidly reduced her exercise (not that it was much but even that stopped) so she wasn't as fit. But she planned on increasing that after college was let off for the summer.

Syra knew that keeping such a secret from Zayn was wrong. He was worrying about something which she was sure she had resolved. There's no illness and now she knew for definite, no bun in the oven. Just her being her with her strange choices of food. Her combinations baffled and sometimes disgusted others but to her - she couldn't live without them.

"Bas," Syra muttered to herself.

She concluded that would come clean to him. So he could stop worrying and move past this. He was already being bothered by others outside, she didn't want to be the one to add to his stress, but be someone he could rely on.

She was in the middle of her last period, so she would meet him outside and tell him. He was suspended at the moment so they would meet at the cafe down ge road and leave together. She could sit with him for a bit before he dropped her off to her house. This was something she had to do in person.

"Miss Siddiqi, care to answer my question?" Ms Xavier interrupted her thoughts.

Syra's head snapped up to find her entire class staring at her expectantly, with a lightly ticked off Ms Xavier at the front pointing to a question. But before she ask what the question was, a snarky voice spoke up,

"She's no Miss Siddiqi now, it's Mrs Zayn Ahmed, innit?" the voice sounded from behind her.

Syra froze. They had decided to keep their nikkah a secret from the school as they weren't even legally married yet and too many people would assume stuff. Things like 'oh she was forced', 'he's just tryna get in her pants' even the 'I bet they're cousins or su'in'. Not that it was their business anyways. But then she remembered that she didn't change her last name, nor was she in the future. It was actually forbidden for Muslim women to change their last names to their husbands once they were married as it was a disrespect to their lineage.