toxic but pretty

well that was unexpected..

i finally decided to go to school after a week of being depressed and not moving out of bed. i looked pale and weak. i threw on some joggers and an oversized hoodie and headed out the door. when i arrived at hollywood arts, i felt my stomach drop. first class was sikowitz. great. as soon as i walked in the room, everyone's heads turned to look at me. tori had texted me a few times to ask me what happened and if i was okay but i ignored her. jade had texted me a LOT, as well as called and even tried to get into my house, but i ignored her. the only other person to check up on me was cat, she called me with andre and asked why i hadn't been in school. i just told her i was ill.
i slumped down into my chair and put my hood up. no one said anything to me, but a lot of people exchanged concerned looks and sikowitz kept glancing over at me. as soon as class was over, i tried to rush out of the room but jade grabbed my wrist. "y/n wait!!" i struggled to get out of her grip, it was too tight. "get the fuck off me jade" her grip tightened even more. "we need to talk about this" she said in a low voice. "no. get off me" she loosened her grip and looked down at me worriedly. even though i was extremely angry at her, i just wanted to hug her. i missed her face. i missed her touch. i missed her. i hurriedly walked out of the room and went to the library to study for 15 minutes before next lesson. i couldn't face sitting with the group, i knew jade would be there. after all, they were jades friends first.
luckily, i didn't have any more classes with jade. i had choir with tori but she knew not to ask me about anything, seen as i had ignored all of her texts. school had finally finished for the day. usually i would get a ride home from jade since she had a car and i didn't. it's not that i couldn't drive, i just didn't have the money to buy a car. i ended up walking home which took around 30 minutes.
as soon as i got home i dumped my bag on the floor and headed upstairs. i couldn't wait to get into bed, i was so tired. i opened the door to my room.. and there she was. "j- jade what the fuck are you doing here?" "y/n we need to talk. i know you don't want to but we have to." i rolled my eyes, trying to hold back tears and sat on the bed. she came and sat down next to me but i didn't want to seem vulnerable so i stood up and went to the other side of my room. she just sighed. "ok. talk." i demanded. "i didn't cheat on you, y/n" i felt like i was going to throw up. or faint. or die? i honestly didn't know. i was so confused.. but i felt so relieved.
"w- what do you mean?! i saw tori.. naked.. with YOUR underwear in her hands" tears were falling down now, i couldn't help it. "i did that because i was jealous! i can't stand you being around her. i want you all to myself and i know it's bad.. but i-" she stopped talking. "you what?" i asked. "i fucking love you y/n!! and it's making me crazy. i can't live without you. this past week has been torture" jade began crying. i could tell that she'd been holding this in for a while. "i understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. what i did was unforgivable. but i can't stand her.. you know that" i just stood there. i didn't know what to do, or what to say. "please say something y/n"jade begged. "i don't believe you." i lied. i knew she was telling the truth because jade never expresses her emotions. "w- what? you don't believe me?" "nope." i lied again. "y/n you know i would never lie to you about something like this. stop fucking around." i could tell she was getting angry. "how the hell would you get tori to agree to something so insane?" "i drugged her drink when she wasn't looking and forced her to chug it. then i stripped her naked and put my underwear in her hands. it wasn't hard. i just had to wait half an hour for her to fall asleep" jade said this with no emotion on her face.. like it was a normal thing to do. "you know that's a fucking crime right? you drugged a girl and took off her clothes without consent. does tori know about this?" i could see that jade was panicking. i don't think she realised how stupid it was until now. "n- no tori doesn't know.. oh my god. what have i done? WHAT THE FUCK HAVE I DONE?!" she was pacing up and down my room. i walked up to her and put my hands on her shoulders. "j- jade calm down. i know you're not a criminal. you just acted without thinking. we're gonna sort this out, okay?" she relaxed into my touch and nodded her head. this didn't mean i wasn't still angry at her, but she needed me tonight. and in all honesty.. i needed her. we got into my bed and put the TV on. almost straight away, jade fell asleep in my arms. i really do love her.

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WRITE KAJDJAKFKAJF