Perfect on Paper

Chapter 13-Josephine

I haven't seen or heard from Hero since that night in the locker room.But I don't feel as good as I thought I would, the guilt is eating me alive.I haven't even talked to Mercy since that night or any of our friends really except Shane.Anyone would agree that no matter how much you don't like someone you never push someone when they're injured yet those simple morals didn't even cross my mind in the bathroom.

I actually feel...bad for what I did to him.It's just weird cause I've fantasied about knocking him on his ass for years but not like that.Not when he looks so innocent, cute and helpless."Josephine!"Shane says bringing me out of my trance as he pulls into our destination.We're stopping at this day car to complete our final community hours just so we don't have to deal with it senior year."What are you thinking about that got you so out of it?"

I stay silent looking down and playing with my fingers."Nothing."

I can't find it in myself to make eye contact with Shane which has never been a problem before."Are you seriously thinking about Hero again?"I look up at him and my lip quivers at the thought."Jesus christ Josephine, when are you gonna get over it?"I sniffle, rubbing my nose."You fucked up.We get it.But you have to get over it and stop punishing your self.The prick wasn't crippled, he just hurt his ankle and couldn't walk for a little while."

"He was in a wheelchair."I croak.Shane sighs leaning his head back against the head board."He was in a wheelchair and I pushed him."

Shane turns to me screaming."Josephine!"I turn my head to face him, he may sound angry but all I can see in his eyes is frustration."Can you just fucking relax?"

"I pushed him Shane.In a wheelchair."

"Yeah I got that part Jo."He scratches his head letting out a long breathe."But it seems like you're forgetting the part where he got the wheelchair because nobody had fucking crutches to give him.It's a sprained ankle, he'll live to be a douche bag another day.So can you just relax and get out the fucking car because we're loosing hours talking about this shit?"

"I don't want to."

"Josephine."

"Please dont-"

"Jo."He deadpans giving me that dead-eyed look I've seen multiple times.

***

"A.B.C.D.E.F.G"I sing with one of these bastard babies on my lap as I play with his fingers.I feel something a little weight gain on top of my lap where he is.This little boy begins giggling and clapping his hands.Oh shit.

Literally, oh shit.This little bastard probably crapped himself.I groan ,lifting the child sniffing his behind."Gotta pooper there?"An all too familiar voice asks from above me.

No.Fucking.Way.

I stand up lifting this little bastard child who is filled with shit onto my hip."Hero?"I look him up and down taking notice the wrap on his ankle.Shit."How are you feeling?"I blurt out before I can even think what I'm saying.

He stuffs his hands into his packets."Yeah.Yeah I'm feeling great.Ankle's healing fine, staying clear from wheelchairs and people that like to push them."He laughs, raising his eyebrows at me.

"About that..."I begin, moving around him with the baby still on my hip trying to find a chasing room for him."I really am sorry.I know we have our issues..."

"Actually you seem to just have an issue with me for whatever reason."He cuts me off, following behind me.

I whip around to face him."You really wanna know why?"I speak under my breathe so nobody can hear,particularly Shane who I can see watching from the corner of the day care.